Bipolar-I and terrified

Confusedinomicon · Apr 19, 2011, 12:33 AM

I'm going back on depakote and off of abilify for the mania. My pdoc is hoping this levels me out some because she said I haven't been stable since I met her. Also a secretary told me she keeps me in her prayers. That meant a lot for me.

You and me both in hoping our pdocs are correct! Yay for getting rid of those pesky gnomes. x)!!

Tsunamisurfer · Apr 19, 2011, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

I'm going back on depakote and off of abilify for the mania.

Those are 2 meds I haven't tried. I hope Depakote does the job for you.

Confusedinomicon · Apr 19, 2011, 03:24 AM

I hope your new meds do it for you, too!

Apr 20, 2011, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

... I will be trying Zyprexa this morning, and I'm kind of expecting to see half the people outside the pharmacy just magically disappear, including the gnomes

We'll see if my pdoc's faith in this med is well placed.

Less crowded shopping is a great thing!

I know someone for whom Zyprexa has pretty well been a miracle. Wishing you the best of luck with it. Keep us posted, ok Tsunamisurfer?

Tsunamisurfer · Apr 21, 2011, 04:38 AM

Thanks Innerzone. So far I have been taking Zyprexa for 3 days, and I am feeling drunk, bewildered, slightly depressed, and very sleepy. If anything I am having more intense de-realisation experiences on it, with increased nausea. No hallucinations, though (as far as I can tell). Yesterday I was so agitated I couldn't sit still. Unbearable ticklish sensations deep inside, pulsing through me. It reminded me of the time I was on Prozac.

My wife and I are driving our 3 daughters to Grahamstown (a day's drive) for one of the girls to compete in the national climbing championships. We then head for the coast to just chill for a week with my sister. I will probably not be accessing the internet while we are away. A complete "down tools".

When we get back I go straight into psych hospital on 3-4 May for a 24hr EEG followed by an MRI (and face my new pdoc who was seriously PO'd with me for delaying getting onto Zyprexa. I have uncomfortable feelings about how this is going to turn out).

I'll catch up with you all when I get back.

Peter

Confusedinomicon · Apr 21, 2011, 10:20 AM

Take care Pete. Have a good time on your week off before you start all that. I hope they can figure things out for ya!

((Pete!!))

Trippin2.0 · Apr 21, 2011, 11:57 AM

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DivorcedWoman · Apr 23, 2011, 09:23 AM

Pete, not sure if you are back from your holiday but I was hoping to see an update on how you are doing and where things are at. Looking forward to hearing something soon. Thinking good thoughts for you.

Tsunamisurfer · Apr 23, 2011, 10:29 AM

Hi DW. Thanks for asking. I feel so drugged: drowsy, thick tongued, lethargic and totally lacking inspiration. When I see my pdoc on 3 May, I will be putting my intentions very firmly on the table. This is definitely not a sustainable position. I'll give more feedback next week. (connecting from my mobile in the bush with intermittant reception). Pete

Tsunamisurfer · Apr 28, 2011, 11:35 AM

Wow! This Zyprexa is such dangerous stuff!
I can't drive the day after a dose of 2.5mg. That is serious since I do most of the school lifts.
I have visiospatial perceptual and coordination problems when on it.
People in the supermarket look at me as if I'm drunk because I have difficulty enunciating some words.
I sleep a lot after taking a dose. 11 to 12 hours on average.
I feel flat and spaced out - no sign of my usual playful self.
The weight gain issue seems real enough to me too.
My wife and I have agreed that I come off it now and discuss it with my pdoc when I see her next Tuesday.

wing · Apr 28, 2011, 05:54 PM

Pete,
It is a good idea to titrate off meds, vs go cold turkey. Just sayin'...

Tsunamisurfer · Apr 29, 2011, 01:05 AM

Thanks wingin'it.

butcheredxbutterfly · Apr 29, 2011, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Wow! This Zyprexa is such dangerous stuff!
I can't drive the day after a dose of 2.5mg. That is serious since I do most of the school lifts.
I have visiospatial perceptual and coordination problems when on it.
People in the supermarket look at me as if I'm drunk because I have difficulty enunciating some words.
I sleep a lot after taking a dose. 11 to 12 hours on average.
I feel flat and spaced out - no sign of my usual playful self.
The weight gain issue seems real enough to me too.
My wife and I have agreed that I come off it now and discuss it with my pdoc when I see her next Tuesday.

These effects wore off for me after a couple of days-week. I'm now on 7.5mg and am fine. However I had that problem with Seroquel.... different meds different people I guess

Tsunamisurfer · Apr 29, 2011, 09:07 AM

Ta, BxB. P

Julie74 · Apr 30, 2011, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

Thanks DW.
She hasn't yet insisted on a frontal lobotomy,

so I'll go for the tests and see what emerges. I agree that making a diagnosis in the first interview is difficult, and we will need to watch what happens over time. The last 2 pdocs had me on Epilim, Lithium & Seroquel & considered it BD-I. I was adamant it was BD-II. I tried the Seroquel and became a 36hr zombie and felt extremely disorientated. So I refused to take it any more. I subsequently had the most wonderful and sometimes scary experiences ranging from simple sounds and fleeting sights to hour-long complex auditory and psychic hallucinations (delusions?). I think that is what prompted my current pdoc to dig deeper. When she began talking to my wife as if I wasn't there, I had a distinct feeling she thought I was so out of my tree then that she needed someone else sane to talk to.
%^$&* that hurts, whether its true or not!!!

Looking at this thread a couple of days after the event, I feel the pdoc was poking hard on some very sore nerves, and I was clearly in denial about what was going on.

But realising that doesn't make it any easier to accept. I am still terrified, confused, and desperately want to get off this planet and board a shuttle to the furthest galaxy on a new mission that has nothing to do with chemical imbalances and life crises.

drs can make you feel worst. I think you should get a second opinion from a dr that specializes in BP. the test doesn hurt and taking meds is not so bad. It really does help once you find the right mix that works for you. i was on Seroquel and effexor xr. Goodluck and please go for a 2nd opinion. I had one and the 2nd dr was right so I stuck with her. I am not off meds and feel like myself again.

Tsunamisurfer · May 03, 2011, 09:50 AM

Thanks Julie (hug).
I'm in psych hospital now, connected via 20 electrodes and cables to an EEG monitor for 18 hours.
I had a meeting with my pdoc this morning. Wow. Was she so much easier to talk to than when I was talking to her on the phone while walking in the traffic!
I explained my experience of the zyprexa, and when she saw my mood chart that I had been normal for over a week, she was happy.
So I stay off antipsychotics and manage it with Lithium & Epilim.
Tomorrow I go for the MRI, then discharge. Yeehah!!!!

love2drum · May 03, 2011, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

Thanks everyone.

Trippin, LIA = Love In Action?

I forgot to mention - 3/4 of the way through the consultation, pdoc begins talking to my wife and referring to me as "him". (Hey! I'm still in the room, ladies! Oy! Excuse me!...) My thoughts obviously weren't loud enough, and my pdoc was absolutely convinced that I was somewhere else. Oh well. Maybe she will start hearing me if I swallow some Zyprexa for her. Apparently dealing with my issues will sort out the worlds problems too LOL.

sounds awful, but just to interject...a possible other alternative....maybe she was just trying to soothe your wife a little....a lot of this is probably very hard for our loved ones to hear....
get another opinion?

love2drum · May 03, 2011, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

Thanks Julie (hug).
I'm in psych hospital now, connected via 20 electrodes and cables to an EEG monitor for 18 hours.
I had a meeting with my pdoc this morning. Wow. Was she so much easier to talk to than when I was talking to her on the phone while walking in the traffic!
I explained my experience of the zyprexa, and when she saw my mood chart that I had been normal for over a week, she was happy.
So I stay off antipsychotics and manage it with Lithium & Epilim.
Tomorrow I go for the MRI, then discharge. Yeehah!!!!

Way to stay possitive, Julie! Go you! Sounds like things will be okay

Trippin2.0 · May 04, 2011, 04:15 PM

Still here,still cheering for u!!! Keep us posted

Tsunamisurfer · May 05, 2011, 12:25 AM

Thanks Trippin.
Remember that old joke about the psych hospital where staff are all so lost in their bureaucratic system and the patients are the only sane ones there?
Well from my experience so far, it's not a joke. Update to follow. I'm off to see my pdoc now.

Tsunamisurfer · May 05, 2011, 09:29 AM

Ok, I'm discharged from psych hospital now. MRI normal (I have a brain...still), and EEG found no signs of epileptic activity. So I'm a simple case of Bipolar 1 with ADHD thrown in for interest.
The MRI was an interesting experience. My ears were plugged, I was placed on a tray, my head wedged between tough cussions to prevent movement, and I was slid into this tight chamber. My pdoc offered me a benzo before the MRI, but I wasn't concerned about tight spaces. Well it was tight, and fortunately it didn't worry me because I had to stay dead still for 30 minutes while they vibrated my skull with what felt like a jack hammer. I can understand why some people freak out with the experience.

Trippin2.0 · May 05, 2011, 10:06 AM

Wow,i'd never be able 2 stay still, glad u failed your tests tho! :-)

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