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Old May 03, 2011, 10:08 PM
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dillpickle1983 dillpickle1983 is offline
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This is the history behind whats going on now http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=181536

I have been turned down by 99% of all the trucking companies that I applied too because of my lack of experience or 1 minor incident I had involving only me myself and the tractor.

I now am severely depressed, been off my meds, can't restart my meds, have racing irrational thoughts about well S**C**D and a host of other screwed up things... It hit so fast, the phone starting ringing with denials and I started my very fast descent into hell. I currently live in this LITTLE *** Town in NW Pennsylvania, there is no work here, NONE. I'm trying to better myself but don't know how anymore. I'm 28 in 2 months and feel so overwhelmed. I have nothing to show for me, 28 years on this earth other than a mountain of debt and no life.

I don't know what to do. The friends I'm living with are very understanding of the pysch things as they're boy's are challenged daily by pysch disorders. I'm scared to open up and tell them, that I may need to be hospitalized.... It scares the hell out of me. I can't continue to be shut down like this. I now know how it feels, my ex boyfriend has been dealing with this for several years trying to get back into being a Flight Attendant. I always discounted the depression and hellish thoughts... Now I know first hand and it is very sobering. I'm scared. I need a hug. I'm at my breaking point.
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  #2  
Old May 03, 2011, 10:36 PM
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Tsunamisurfer Tsunamisurfer is offline
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Chandler, I read your other thread and I feel your pain. I too had an overwhelming fear of being hospitalized, but given the severity of your situation, you will probably find a psych hospital is the best place to be to get you back on your feet while reducing your stress dramatically. I'm writing this from a hospital bed.
Peter
  #3  
Old May 04, 2011, 02:04 AM
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Charlie_J Charlie_J is offline
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Location: Sheffield, UK
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chandlerT660 View Post
[...] I'm 28 in 2 months and feel so overwhelmed. I have nothing to show for me, 28 years on this earth other than a mountain of debt and no life. [...]
Hi Chandler,

I just wanted to say that I relate so much to that bit. I'm 34 and in the same exact situation. Currently the only work I can get or am capable of is cleaning for less than minimum wage.

I've never even had a relationship that outlasted a cycle. Mountain of debt too, check.

I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

((((Chandler))))
  #4  
Old May 04, 2011, 07:19 PM
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dillpickle1983 dillpickle1983 is offline
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nothing helps.. Took 1mg of Ativan this morning to help calm me down, then about 12 hrs later took 100mg of thorazine. Neither worked as advertised. My thoughts won't slow down... Also sleeping MAYBE 2 hrs solid a night. I'm called my Doc's in Miami and they would not rx me any meds without seeing me in person. Therefor I am unable to get my meds unless I go to the ER, great. another 3-4 days of non productive life.
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Old May 04, 2011, 08:57 PM
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painhurtsme painhurtsme is offline
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i have racing irrational thoughts, yet im "stable" for now....i know what you are going through. no meds have worked for that. as for depression you may need to see a doctor about it
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Old May 05, 2011, 06:37 AM
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dillpickle1983 dillpickle1983 is offline
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I feel fine today, I actually feel invincible. Almost euphoric. I dunno whats up... I hope I don't think I'm superman like I did 4 months ago.
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Old May 05, 2011, 08:10 AM
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dillpickle1983 dillpickle1983 is offline
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I asked one of my friends in Cincinnati if I could stay with him.... waitin on response.
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