First, I want to apologize for posting so much recently. I'm sorry for being needy. I'm just not in a good place right now.

I'm still in the hospital! When I first came in, they said I should only be staying for less than a week. That turned to two weeks. Then, my in-hospital psychiatrist goes away for about a week...and I have a temporary psych for 2 more days. So I can't ask about being let out until Wednesday.

On the OTHER hand, I never feel completely OK. I may feel fine one hour, then the next couple of hours very suicidal, then after that OK once again! I'm not sure if this is caused by my Bipolar, BPD, or both. I don't feel totally stable, although I feel better than when I first came in.

I'm just tired of all this. Part of me wants to leave and get back to school & life...and part of me wants to curl up in a ball and sleep the day away, avoiding everything and everyone. I'm scared of facing life, and potentially failing.

Sorry for the rant, I just had to let this out somehow. =/

[lxegirl]

awww we're all here to listen. the good thing about ranting online is that there are alot of people to listen, so we'll never get tired of you or think you're needy. I hope you get to go home soon :*) cheer up, girl! i know you can get through this.

[sugahorse1]

(((Melissa))) thinking of you xx

[wing]

Hang in there, melissa!!

[venusss]

I just wonder what you consider "normal" or "okay" thing. Because I think that after some experiences one is changed. There is no system renewal for our mind.

The key is to learn to deal with these feelings in a healthy way. And since you know it does pass... try to be aware of that during hard time.

[jmorlang]

something that i did when i was in the hospital for the same situation was ask the nurse if you can walk around with them to get the self focus off of you self. I believe that sleep can aid in depression. most of the time when i am down I find myself sleep alot. A puzzle or a cross word puzzle just something to do to stimulate your brain and help keep you from thinking bad things might help you out. good luck!

Originally Posted by melissa.recovering

First, I want to apologize for posting so much recently. I'm sorry for being needy. I'm just not in a good place right now.

I'm still in the hospital! When I first came in, they said I should only be staying for less than a week. That turned to two weeks. Then, my in-hospital psychiatrist goes away for about a week...and I have a temporary psych for 2 more days. So I can't ask about being let out until Wednesday.

On the OTHER hand, I never feel completely OK. I may feel fine one hour, then the next couple of hours very suicidal, then after that OK once again! I'm not sure if this is caused by my Bipolar, BPD, or both. I don't feel totally stable, although I feel better than when I first came in.

I'm just tired of all this. Part of me wants to leave and get back to school & life...and part of me wants to curl up in a ball and sleep the day away, avoiding everything and everyone. I'm scared of facing life, and potentially failing.

Sorry for the rant, I just had to let this out somehow. =/