my sons depressed

hi everyone..need some advice..my 20yr old recently dx Bipolar (after major manic episode) is depressed now...i have been reading alot of other posts on here just trying to get some insight on what to do..he is in therpy and does take meds, but he is in denial that there is anything wrong..he says he had the "manic episode because he was smoking alot of pot, eating it actually" and he says he is just a little down because of the meds...he thinks he should go off the meds and then see how he feels...I talked to the doc about that and he thinks thats to risky...i want to support my son, but i dont want to put him in harms way. he doesnt realize how his past behavior (moods) were/are. he thinks he was just inmature then and now he has grown up.....thanks for reading...any advice would be appreciated..

Maybe if he is still living with you, you can encourage him to sit down daily and write his feelings on something. Keep this journal (online, offline, pen and paper) and use it to monitor his mood. Tell him if he really wants to go off, he will have to keep to this journal so both of you can have insight on his mood, and so he can look back to it and acknowledge instability if it is there. It can also be good for you because you won't have to try and remember all his symptoms because it will all be on "paper and pencil."

Also, you have to set rules of what is and isn't proper behavior. Believe it or not I am 21 and still get lectures and punished from my parents and boyfriend. They know without structure I fall apart.

thanks for responding...i have been encouraging him to journal...we will see how that goes...he has such an awesome soul..wish i had the answers for him..take care..

Being med-compliant can be a big struggle for some with BP and I would imagine being diagnosed at a younger age would make it even harder.

I will say that part of the reason I stay med-compliant is because I can't jeopordize my career, but another part of it is I feel my p-doc respects me and listens to my concerns. I hope you're son builds the same type of relationship with his p-doc.

I think your son is doing quite well for just being diagnosed. It will take time, but he needs to manage the illness you can't do it for him. He's very lucky to have you, but I'm worried you're going to burn yourself out, so please take time for yourself.

i'm worried i'm burning myself out also and yes i am trying to manage this for him (i feel like i failed him as a mother by not seeing the signs earlier)....i still see him as my baby boy...we have always been very close but the last couple of years he has shut me out (i do realize now it was because of the bipolar)...since the breakdown in february he has come back to me and is letting me take care of him...i start therapy for myself in a week..I want to support him without enabling him (if that makes sense). I need therapy to learn how to do that...this forum has helped alot. thanks for letting me ramble...it's a comfort when i can let things out on here and people understand...alot of people in "real life" judge and it hurts...take care

Completely makes sense. I'm glad you're getting support for yourself too. As far as missing the signs this illness can be very subtle and easy to explain away especially in teenagers.

I think you are doing a great job! Getting therapy for yourself is an excellent idea to help prevent burnout! I like the idea of using a mood tracker.... it might help your son get a more realistic view of what's going on. Sometimes it's easy to forget behavior in ourselves that others see!

we just got back from walking around the flea market...he actually smiled today...even if only for a minute..i will take it..thanks everyone for your kind words....you are all in my prayers...

i know teenagers can be tough...it is hard to reconize if you dont know what your looking for....thanks for your support...hope you are doing well yourself...i will continue to send you positive thoughts...

[quote=hope1234;1838234...he actually smiled today...even if only for a minute..i will take it..[/quote]

Hold onto those smiles! sometimes they have gotten me through some of my darkest hours...remembering that those smiles are still in there!

Thanks CSC....