[BNLsMOM]

I lost it today after a stressful week of not being able to deal with time and I had to walk out of a gym full of people.

I can't seem to deal with chunks of time and figuring out when to do things or when to get ready for appointments so that I won't be late. Planning for anything that is more than an hour away has become impossible. It is causing me to mess up appointments and apparently I am the master of all appointments for everyone everywhere within my family.

Finally we got to the last event of the day (I messed up and missed soccer for my oldest which was the same time as a concert for my youngest) and as soon as I walked into the gym I saw so many people that I just couldn't go on. My husband took my son in to the gym to get some pizza and I walked outside to wait. Then we went to the classroom to hear the songs.

The whole thing made me want to run away. I feel shaky and anxious now and really wired.

My day tomorrow is just as busy as today.

[jack123]

I know that I get overwhelmed if I try to think too far ahead. I take baby steps with time.

[BNLsMOM]

I am so overwhelmed. I have nothing left. I feel like my brain is shutting down.

[dragonfly2]

It sounds like you did the best thing you could have done in that situation. Allowing yourself the space to regroup when you feel overwhelmed is a healthy thing. You were able to come back in and go to the concert, so even though the night might have felt like a mess to you, it ended on a successful note. (No pun intended, lol).

Can you bring your family on board to help with the activity scheduling? Even literally - have a white board with a calendar and everyone's appointments. I'm in the same boat as you, having to be the master scheduler. We don't have a large board, but I do write everything on a calendar in the kitchen.

Is there a way that you and your husband could share the traveling? He could take your son to soccer and give you a break one night, then you could take another child another night. It might seem a little less overwhelming if you could split it up somehow, if you're not already.

Again, kudos to you for realizing when you simply couldn't be in the gym, and even more for being able to regroup and come back.

[Confusedinomicon]

((hugs))<3

[BNLsMOM]

Originally Posted by dragonfly2

It sounds like you did the best thing you could have done in that situation. Allowing yourself the space to regroup when you feel overwhelmed is a healthy thing. You were able to come back in and go to the concert, so even though the night might have felt like a mess to you, it ended on a successful note. (No pun intended, lol).

Can you bring your family on board to help with the activity scheduling? Even literally - have a white board with a calendar and everyone's appointments. I'm in the same boat as you, having to be the master scheduler. We don't have a large board, but I do write everything on a calendar in the kitchen.

Is there a way that you and your husband could share the traveling? He could take your son to soccer and give you a break one night, then you could take another child another night. It might seem a little less overwhelming if you could split it up somehow, if you're not already.

Again, kudos to you for realizing when you simply couldn't be in the gym, and even more for being able to regroup and come back.

We have a big white board. Part of the trouble with splitting it up is that I really feel I need someone with me, because of anxiety. So if my husband can't go, my mom usually does. My mom seems to need to have the next millenium planned down to the minute and even with the white board, my husband forgets to look at it. As far as managing chunks of time, I have lost my ability. I can't concentrate. I can't be in groups of people. I want to scream right now.

[dragonfly2]

BNLsMOM wrote:
I am so overwhelmed. I have nothing left. I feel like my brain is shutting down. I can't concentrate. I can't be in groups of people. I want to scream right now.

It sounds like you need some serious respite before you completely crash and burn. Can your husband and mom take over for a time and let you rest? When I'm feeling like that and I don't get a break, it usually ends badly. Is the lack of concentration possibly from depression? Do you think a medication adjustment (if you're on meds) might help? Do you have a PRN to help you through the anxiety? I hope your husband and mother can take some of this off your hands for a while. I know when I'm at the point where I'm completely burned out, it's either I take time to rest, or I end up really sick and in the hospital. At least if I'm able to rest, there's a better chance that I can at least help with meals or low-key things around the house, even if I can't be there for outside activities for a while.

I hope you are able to find some peace soon.

[BNLsMOM]

These things are school events and appointments that I don't want to miss.

[dragonfly2]

I understand wanting to be there for those things. Maybe they could take some home responsibilities off your hands. I'm sorry you're struggling right now.

[BNLsMOM]

LOL I ignore my home responsibilities. I spend most of my free time either in bed or watching TV.

[BNLsMOM]

I am feeling so drained today. I am starting to have thoughts/images of hurting myself just to get out of this disoriented, time addled state of mind. I will do my best not to and will call my T if it gets too bad.

Stress brings on these images so it doesn't help that I have been so stressed lately.