I've been in a mixed mood for about a month. I find these mixed episodes completely unbearable. the last 4 years all I get is mixed or depressed. depressed with manic features, manic with depressed feature. Never know who's really running the show. And then just your all and out pure depression.

I take lithium for maintenance, It doesn't seem to work very well. I still cycle every month or so. So when I get a mixed mood I add an anti-psychotic very reluctantly.

So get into mixed mood add seroquel about 3 weeks ago. But the last few days the hallucinations are increasing, my mood has also risen a ton. I'm soo happy and seriously do not want to take my seroquel to sleep, I want to stay up and get stuff done. And quit honestly after 4 years of hellish episodes I would love love love to just take off with this and feel great.

I miss feeling great, and smart, and fast, productive, funny. I miss it so much. I feel like I just want to blast off.

My anorexic behaviors seem more substantial right now as well. I know that is not good.

If I added seroquel then why am I getting higher?? I don't know but my pdoc is not helpful, my gp wasn't very helpful. So what do ya' do? keep dosing myself, stop the seroquel? Plus you know I feel like I really don't want people asking if I took my meds (irl). I have an app with the dietitian at the hospital tomorrow. And then gotta answer to her too, if I ate my breakfast. I think I'm just sick of answering to everyone when I'm a full grown women.

that might be a bit jumbled , but thanks for listening , no one to talk to here. And I am seriously thinking I don't want to take my meds.

On the other hand I know I am answering to everyone because I am not well. And I should realize that I am lucky to have people in my life who are concerned for me. Just frustrating sometimes I guess. My mom used to call me long distance to ask what I had ate that day, just too much.

[goingcrazy52]

Originally Posted by Anika

I've been in a mixed mood for about a month. I find these mixed episodes completely unbearable. the last 4 years all I get is mixed or depressed. depressed with manic features, manic with depressed feature. Never know who's really running the show. And then just your all and out pure depression.

I take lithium for maintenance, It doesn't seem to work very well. I still cycle every month or so. So when I get a mixed mood I add an anti-psychotic very reluctantly.

So get into mixed mood add seroquel about 3 weeks ago. But the last few days the hallucinations are increasing, my mood has also risen a ton. I'm soo happy and seriously do not want to take my seroquel to sleep, I want to stay up and get stuff done. And quit honestly after 4 years of hellish episodes I would love love love to just take off with this and feel great. I am new Anika.

I miss feeling great, and smart, and fast, productive, funny. I miss it so much. I feel like I just want to blast off.

My anorexic behaviors seem more substantial right now as well. I know that is not good.

If I added seroquel then why am I getting higher?? I don't know but my pdoc is not helpful, my gp wasn't very helpful. So what do ya' do? keep dosing myself, stop the seroquel? Plus you know I feel like I really don't want people asking if I took my meds (irl). I have an app with the dietitian at the hospital tomorrow. And then gotta answer to her too, if I ate my breakfast. I think I'm just sick of answering to everyone when I'm a full grown women.

that might be a bit jumbled , but thanks for listening , no one to talk to here. And I am seriously thinking I don't want to take my meds.

I am new Anika. My husband is Bipolar and the Seraquel did him the same way.

Hi goingcrazy,
Do you mean the seroquel made your husband more manic? Or failed to work for him?
Just curious, trying to figure out whats going on here. Thanks for your reply, I'm new here too.

Has the Seroquel ever worked for you, or is it this particular episode that it is messing with its effectiveness? You might need a different med because it could have the effect on you that I call the "Ritalin effect". Like how people with ADD/ADHD need an upper to bring them down, people who are already up might not respond right to a downer. My Mother took Celexa for her depression, but when she would get manic/mixed, it would just accelerate it 50x worse. I hope I could offer a little help! Keep us posted : )

[UpInTheTrees]

I am on serquel. My doctor told me it is an antipsychotic, so it should help you come down with the mania. I take it for sleep. I would stay on the med and contact you're shrink. You feel good now, however I would be sad if you needed to go to inpatient treatment if your mania gets out of control. I would like to get off the meds too, perhaps in 5 to 10 years. I would like to know myself better and also very very slow reduction and not just completely stop at once.

Good Luck and I hope this helps.

-Ele

Well Seroquel has worked well for my mixed episodes untill this one. And it sometimes works for my psychosis except for tactile hallucinations.
Your right I don't want to go back to the hospital. I was there in September for a few weeks. Getting my meds sorted that time was difficult. I ended up with lithium, risperidone, zyprexa, chlorpromazine, and Ativan. I don't want to take that many meds again. And after all that I was still having disturbing tactile hallucinations.

I will call and see if I can get in cause my next app isn't for a month. He knows I was in a mixed mood and gave me some Ativan to sleep and made an app for 6 weeks later Ugggh. I got the seroquel at a walk-in cause my pdoc never called me back ( he's my new pdoc btw).

Sucks feeling like this. I feel like a horse that's been tied down. I can feel the energy and speed inside me but the seroquel feels like it has my legs tied down. Not comphy Just so tempting to just run with it sometime you know. It's been a long time since I've been able to feel good.

Nevermind,

My mood took a dive today after I got home from the dietician. Straight down. So I dunno what the heck is going on.

I don't know if it's bp or if it was talking to her about "fixing" me up and getting me all on a regular eating schedule. I'm not not even thinking what she is, I just started seeing her last week. And its stressing me out to think I'm now going to have to give up my non eating skills. Like why the heck did I even mention it in the first place.

I was sent to see her to check if I wasn't metabolizing my meds right. Now it's very quickly turned into some kind of treatment plan that I didn't really sign up for.
And meanwhile I'm sitting here in an episode which I am more concerned about right now. This is TOO much for me right now ugggh!!!

I'm sooo frustrated sorry in need of so venting or screaming or something. I am so confused...

[cheeri]

Not eating and sleeping can throw everything off!!! I am severely manic right now and have been going days without food, and I know it is just making it worse.

Let's go to McD's!!!

Does it make it worse?

Haha sure let's go to McDonalds. I think I'll just have a McWatch-u-eat tho.

My mood is back up Up Up. Must have just been the appointment bringing me down.

Oh, not sleeping or eating can induce a manic state, not only make a current state worse! I remember what threw me out of my depression was staying up long hours doing hard housework moving my room from one side of the house to the other. I wasn't eating well because I was busy, I was drinking caffeine (not THAT much though) to keep me awake, & the next day, I FELT the shift more readily than I ever have.
I was in a whirlwind, super severe mixed mood for about a week before it receded into my usual mania. It's considered "highly severe" as far as every online quiz has told me, but before the psychotic symptoms arose, I never thought it to be much of a problem. Hahaha goes to show how wrong I was.
But anyway, it's really important to try to recover from your eating disorder, both for your mental & your physical health. I know you don't need to hear it from us, on top of those doctors telling you what to do, but really. Having both disorders, they feed one another, & you're not going to feel healthy/functional until you are able to regulate yourself. Not eating & the stress that surrounds eating feeds bipolar, but some phases of bipolar give you worse anxiety & not want to eat. Just watch yourself, hun. : ]

Thanks Shay,
I'm sleeping good with the seroquel. I know I have to deal with the eating disorder, but I feel like I'm not ready yet, it's been 27 years so I guess what am I waiting for. It's like an adiction and I'll never be really. I think I need to really realize that.

I was having alot of hallucinations yesterday, people talking in my stove range and the vent on the hot water tank. Someone tiny running around on the BBQ outside. And some sensations on my face that are umm scary. Don't know the rules about posting things that may be disturbing. I've been experiencing stuff like this since childhood so I think I can handle it if I try to keep a logical mind, haha ok I realize that sounds dumb.
I don't want a whole bunch of meds because it messes up my ability to run my household.

Ah yes also was going to say about what you said about being depressed and not sleeping pulling you up. They have used sleep deprivation to lift serious depression. I have used it myself to get out of some really stubborn depressions. I've had some success with it, but now that you said that had made you manic its a good caution to know.

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by Anika

I was having alot of hallucinations yesterday, people talking in my stove range and the vent on the hot water tank. Someone tiny running around on the BBQ outside. And some sensations on my face that are umm scary. Don't know the rules about posting things that may be disturbing. I've been experiencing stuff like this since childhood so I think I can handle it if I try to keep a logical mind, haha ok I realize that sounds dumb.
I don't want a whole bunch of meds because it messes up my ability to run my household.

Thanks for starting the thread, Anika. I'm not freaked out by what you say, but then I have experienced similar things.
I also regularly experience people ask how I am, then as I reply they develop a glaze in their eyes or suddenly have to rush off for some crisis they have just remembered. LOL
Fortunately on PC we expect these issues to be discussed, and you weren't likely triggering suicidal impulses in anyone.

[palemoss]

you need to eat healthy and exercise - the exercise will help with the mania and make you tired enough to sleep well.

eat food that is alive - that is fresh, that is good for your body...trust me you will feel better.

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

Thanks for starting the thread, Anika. I'm not freaked out by what you say, but then I have experienced similar things.
I also regularly experience people ask how I am, then as I reply they develop a glaze in their eyes or suddenly have to rush off for some crisis they have just remembered. LOL
Fortunately on PC we expect these issues to be discussed, and you weren't likely triggering suicidal impulses in anyone.

Thanks for sharing, I can't exactly just talk to people irl about this. My boyfriend gets a little scared by it. And I really don't think other people would understand. Even I get a little wigged out, I like to think I can handle it. But I'm not always sure, ever find yourself getting jumpy at every little thing after some hallucinations occur ?

Originally Posted by palemoss

you need to eat healthy and exercise - the exercise will help with the mania and make you tired enough to sleep well.

eat food that is alive - that is fresh, that is good for your body...trust me you will feel better.

Thanks Palemoss, My dietician told me yesterday that I am exercising too much and burning up any food I'm getting in me. But the other night I had soo much energy and I can't just sit in it you know? So I went for a run, I could have run longer but it was almost 1 am and not the best time to be out running.

I'm trying to eat more meals, that's gonna take time. I have agreed to try to add some breakfast, as I usually eat something small around 11 or 12 at night.

Thanks for talking to me guys, it's really nice to know someone is listening and that people do care, strangers even . Sometimes I feel like no one really does.