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#1
Jun 07, 2011, 07:30 PM
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Hi all
So its 1am here in sunny england and I cant sleep....its like TICK TICK BOOM....!!! I just looked in the mirror and thought...'god you're beautiful'  I think I am falling inlove with myself lmao but serioulsy, ok yes I am a little manic right now, but it makes me laugh....I was pouting at myself..and seconds away from snogging the damn mirror!!!  Ha ha....but anyway its cool, I usually hate myself and actually think I look disfigured when feeling down,,,,,which I am not going to talk about because right now I love me and so does everyone else  Last night wasnt good... a little arguement with my husband sent me into a GREAT RAGE,, I went so hard at my hubby that I made him cry  I was so upset about it last night but today...I am a ***** and just acting like nothing happened. Something else happened today...really freaked me out, so like I was watching tv when the phone rang, I paused the tv and after my phone call I looked at the tv and the womans dress on the tv was flowing like it was in the wind....so I looked at the remote and then loooked at the tv and it still said paused.....I looked at the woman again and her dress was still flowing...I got a little freaked loooked away and then looked back and it had stopped.....for a few seconds I thought she might pop out of the tv....I mean, only for a split second this happpened that i thought she would pop out of the tv. And the around a week ago, me and my husband was going out,....i walked to the front gate and looked behind me to see if he was coming, I saw a black bird at around knee height flying right at me and just before impact I scrunched up, closed my eyes, but then nothing was there when i opened my eyes.....it was too close to me to have been able to swoop up that quickly..it was right at my knee when I closed my eyes.  Now I am feeling aggitated.........................................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>>>>!????!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!??!???!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? my head is like whossssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh full of songs and thoughts and nonsense.................................today yesterday tomorrow swirling around in an endless pit.....dont know where it starts and dont know where it ends but BAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Thats how I feel. TICK TICK BOOM Its just like a bomb isnt it........ LIKE WHAM you are alive all of a sudden and oh man doesnt the world loook so damn pretty....I didnt realise how green the grasss was and I didnt reliase just how beautiful the flowers looked in my garden..and oh boy.....THERE IS MAGIC IN THE AIR............maybe I am magic???? ha ha...yeah, actually I do sometimes feel like I am someone real special, like GOD IS WITH ME AND WE ARE CONNECTED ON A SERIOUS LEVEL WHERE HE HAS THIS SPECIAL PLAN FOR ME AND ONLY WHEN I CAN FIND THE KEY WILL HE REVEAL MY SPECIAL PLAN......because I seriously believe I have a plan.....and sometimes I think, if I think hard enough I could ascend.......to a place where there is peace all the wonder and questions about life become clear....as clear to me now like how to open a door and I will finally belong.       
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#2
Jun 07, 2011, 08:11 PM
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Have fun honey! These times are great! The world is beautiful, and sometimes we just can't see it.
__________________
Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.(marilyn monroe) |
 allme
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#3
Jun 08, 2011, 09:57 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#4
Jun 11, 2011, 12:09 PM
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CRASH
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#5
Jun 11, 2011, 12:10 PM
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Zopiclone is my real friend from now on everyone else in this god foresaken world is false, untrustworthy and selfish. And i give up
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#6
Jun 11, 2011, 12:45 PM
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(((allme))) I'm sorry you've crashed so hard. Please don't give up. Be gentle with yourself today and let yourself rest.
__________________
I've been scattered I've been shattered I've been knocked out of the race But I'll get better I feel your light upon my face ~Sting, Lithium Sunset 
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| allme
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#7
Jun 11, 2011, 12:55 PM
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just cant do this anymore, I have friends getting narky cause I have cancelled plans and I hate thihnking that ppl are annoyed or upset because then I could lose them altogether. so in my mind, I dont want any friends..that way there are no feelings or emotions that can get hurt ;(
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#8
Jun 11, 2011, 12:59 PM
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Quote:
Sorry to hear, allme! Quote:
 As Dave255 points out --the forums are full of good people -- and I sincerely hope you haven't found it to be otherwise...
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| allme
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#9
Jun 11, 2011, 02:41 PM
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Allme... just remember that as down as you are now, it won't last forever. Last week I cancelled something important because I just couldn't bear to go in... it's okay. I can sort it out this week. It's not the end of the world when you feel down.
I wish I could give you a hug... a cyberhug will have to do. I know just how you feel, up or down. (((hug)))
__________________
Here I sit so patiently Waiting to find out what price You have to pay to get out of Going through all these things twice. |
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#10
Jun 11, 2011, 03:06 PM
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It's such a hard price to pay. I hate that crash. But it will go away soon, I am sure. Remember to stay safe both when your are up and when you are down.
__________________
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#11
Jun 12, 2011, 11:28 AM
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Grrrrr....I hate crashes...
Now is a good time to record the increases symptoms in your WRAP plan...getting better at recognizing things means you can find ways to counteract them.
__________________
Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
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#12
Jun 15, 2011, 06:02 AM
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thanks guys.....now I have my down and out brother living with me again.....I just cant handle this right now
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#13
Jun 15, 2011, 07:01 AM
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Sorry you're having a hard time
__________________
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." ~Stephen King Dx Bipolar II Med-free for the time being |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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