I am so off

I can't keep track of myself. Sometimes I feel OK and the next minute I am all full of angst and restlessness, and then I have thoughts of hurting myself and then I get kind of blah and bored and then I just feel neutral. This happens to me all day long lately. What is this? I don't like it.

sounds like something is out of wack. are you on meds? you may need an adjustment. could be hormones. or if your not on meds, good ole rapid cycling thru feelings?

must be really frustrating for you. one of my favorite mantras to get me thru negative feelings is by telling myself "these feelings are fleeting". no matter what i am thinking, depression, self harm, history has proven this to be true...the thoughts, feelings are fleeting, i know they are going to go away. so i am able to tell myslef they are fleeting and then use distration to move on to something else and not get caught up in whatever that mood has to offer me.

i hope you figure out what is going on.

Sounds like rapid cycling. You should talk to pdoc.

I could have written this word for word. It is exactly what I am going through, I just couldn't find the words to say it. So thank you. Thank you for posting this. I will explain this to my pdoc when I see him next week. He is tweaking my meds.

I agree, a med adjustment is in order, most likely your mood stabilizer.

I get like this sometimes, usually before the big wave comes in. I agree with the others, a med tweek maybe.

Are you still feeling this way?

Needing a med adjustment is probably right. My brain is going from foggy to overwhelmed with thought and my mood and energy change several times each day. I want to be free of the chains of meds because I want to have a spiritual experience with my bipolar, but at the same time I know what the tradeoff is so I have to stay on meds. I wish there were meds that would let us soar and stop the crash from happening. Ho hum.

Meeee too!!!

I gave it a bit more thought, even when I'm stable I'm not really stable, there is always a lingering of symptoms for me. And that can be confusing.

Right now I am feeling all restless but exhausted at the same time. Not that you need a play by play...

I am so sick of this. I feel like tearing my skin off and running away screaming. There is so much going on. It feels like too much coffee. I can't get away from it.

BNLsMOM! No worries on the "play by play"... it just goes like that sometimes! Hope things smooth out for you soon, but in the meanwhile, we are here for just such things!

I have been keeping a mood journal this week and it shows depression. I would say I am physically depressed and mentally manic.

(((BNLsMOM)))

Geez, are you sure your not taking my seroquel. I feel just like you described. My body is depressed and my min is quite manic and they just are not playing well together.

Good job for tracking it. I find your results this week kind of interesting. I'm still sorry that your still feeling bad tho.

Do you ever think of all the possibilities that these two moods can take shape in. I'm just thinking about that now from what you said. I mean I know the books say it's depressed, or manic, or mixed = a,b and c. I'm wondering if mixed can really equal z,y and x also.

I've been quite manic/mixed bouncing around for a few weeks and today I just hit an absolute bottom of the pit. Just waiting to see what's next, this doesn't feel good so I really feel for you right now. Here's hoping you can get off this ride soon.

And hey, sometimes play by plays are good. Or I'm in serious

Rapid cycling and/or mixed episodes. I don't like some of the terminology, really, because a lot of what I know about my disorder is based on my own intuition.

I get like that frequently...I've been doing it lately. The only thing that's really been helping is to talk it out. The thoughts feel like shadows in my head and once I let them out, everything feels better.

I'm an unmedicated bipolar, though. I responded negatively to some meds and so I got off them and never looked back. I realize this is unconventional so if the problem IS with your meds, then my advice would probably mean nothing.

Also, I agree with the above person who said it could be related to hormones. My moods flare and go crazy when I'm hormonal. It's magnified tenfold around that time of the month.

Hang in there. You'll be fine. <3 And we are here for you!

Yeah, mixed episode describes what is going on, but I would say that it is an agitated depression.