[In_The_Darkness]

I'm kinda alternating between mild manic and hypomanic episodes. But in the car on the way home today, I literally got a little sinking feeling. Not because I'm depressed or at the beginning of a depressive episode...but because I know it won't be long and I'll be feeling terribly depressed again.

Anybody get scared about their next depressive episode? Or when it's going to come?

♥

[widgets]

Yes, sometimes i think back to the worst depressive episode i had, lasted 4 months and i didnt leave the house and i wish i could go back there, because it was safer, i was already at rock bottom and couldnt fall any further.
Now i have a whole life that i built from scratch, and i know that i could lose it all again and i cant afford to do that, it scares me senseless.

[Forgive77]

Yup. It makes me anxious. I get worried about how long it will last, and how deep it might go. I start throwing up. It is very scary.

[zbmom]

Well I spend most of my time depressed and only get a few days of hypomania every few months so coming down always really sucks. I always get that sinking feeling for sure. I was just recently diagnosed so now I understand where all of that was coming from. Before I just didn't have an explanation for it and it was that much more frustrating.

[beatlefreak123]

What scares me the most about this illness is the lack of control I feel. I am more afraid of being manic because the last time it happened I totally blacked out. When in the hospital several years ago, I notice that my hand was black and blue. I asked my husband if he knew why. He said I was punching the wall while in psychosis. I had no idea and it looked like I really banged it hard!

[Butterflies Are Free]

Yes, I get scared, too. I had been doing pretty well for a few weeks but yesterday I could tell that I was starting down the depression slope again. Spent some time crying today, wishing I could have a new brain! Hang in there.

[livelaughlove17]

Yeah, I definitely get scared about when the next episode is coming. If I start to feel down or a little too up, then I wonder if it's an episode or just a bad day or a good one... it can be scary thing to not know...

Yes, I get scared of any episode, my manic episodes are very rough, not fun anymore. I dread them more than the depression. I have built up a lot of tools and skills for depression, but I cannot seem to build a tool box for mania.

[SmilingMask]

Yup, me too! Scared of up/ down/ normal.....

[sugahorse1]

I get the feeling I'm at the beginning of a dep episode. I get scared about what every next day could hold. I get scared that I cannot control my emotions.
Ultimately I think I'm scared of myself

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by sugahorse

I get the feeling I'm at the beginning of a dep episode. I get scared about what every next day could hold. I get scared that I cannot control my emotions.
Ultimately I think I'm scared of myself

(((Suga))) I hope your feeling isn't right this time. I think I know what you mean with emotions that take over and leave us with the consequences.

I'm afraid mostly of manic psychosis. It leaves a huge amount of destruction in it's wake, and I'm never sure whose account of happenings to believe. Reality just feeds the paranoia.