Struggling to Keep Head High

Today has been a rough day. I've had bad thoughts, like a record playing in my head of all the things I don't want to think about. I have no energy or desire to do anything- I've started this post a dozen times and then just closed out of it, thinking, "What's the point?"

I've tried everything to keep myself feeling like I can make it from minute to minute, but its like I can feel my brain chemistry weighing me down. I feel like a failure- my house is a wreck, I've had to struggle to give my daughter my attention, and I hate feeling down. Just last week I was happy and content- not manic, but stable. I just want to go back to feeling that way again!!

I think having a taste of normalcy is almost worse than feeling bad all the time...

I get it. Do you have any help? What does your doctor say? Have you told him or her that your depression is not in control?

I so agree with that statement, but one thing is for sure with bipolar: you know things will change. You might need a med adjustment, yes. But be kind to yourself, too. Choose two things that really must be done and force yourself to do them. Then pat yourself on the back and spend some time just watching your daughter. Kids need to learn to play alone, and you will be cheered by watching her amuse herself!

Thanks for the responses , it helps to know someone's out there! I have an appointment with my doctor at the beginning of next month. Today is a little better than yesterday, I've been more talkative and my general mood has improved.