Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Jul 26, 2011, 12:34 PM
Meruddyl Meruddyl is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Posts: 1
I have been nonfunctioning since i got fired from a job for "not being all there" in may. This has really shaken my confidence. In the past at other jobs ive been told to " be more present" and asked if i was depressed. This really hurts because in my mind i was trying as hard as i could and doing a good job. Im now considering going back to school even though ive crashed and burned in the past because of debillitating anxiety and undiagnosed bipolar II. Going back terrifies me but im crashing and burning at the salon jobs ive been working at for the past two years anyway. So ive been in bed and on the couch since may. My family and boyfriend think the zyprexa ive been taking since xmas of this year zapped my personality so i stopped taking it, although when i was taking it i had less major depressive episodes (crying for hours wanting to kill and hurt myself trashing the bedroom trying to break up with my bf every other week holding back tears at work). I stopped taking it two weeks ago and have been crying almost every night since. My boyfriend kicked me out because i didnt pay him rent this month. He still calls me everyday sometimes two or three times but i really resent him for kicking me out and often dont want to pick up these calls. I called him in the middle of the night two nights ago because i couldnt stop crying and begged him to let me come home. He said no called me a psycopath and told me ive been dragging him down. Lately hes just been telling me what a lazy brat i am all the time. He just doesnt understand that im sick. I really want to break up with him but im not sure if its just because im off my meds. Does anyone else have experience with wanting to push away those who love you when your hurting most? Its so confusing bc i go between needing him and wanting him out of my life. Any advice on the work situation? I need a job but feel like i cant work right now bc of everything im dealing with. Also it looks like seroquel is the next med i am trying... Anybody with experience with this one? Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

Last edited by Christina86; Jul 26, 2011 at 10:48 PM. Reason: trigger icon added for discussion of suicidal thoughts

advertisement
  #2  
Old Jul 28, 2011, 03:06 PM
Anonymous45023
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
(I posted this yesterday, but it seems to have disappeared??? So I'm re-posting in case you didn't get to see it before that happened.)

Hi Merruddl, and welcome to the forums. (Made it reading that far? Of course! )

Curious who prescribed the xyprexa. For anxiety?? You say you have undiagnosed BPII, which kind of brings us back to the prescriber/who is diagnosing you. Have you/they considered Borderline? A bunch of stuff you describe seems to fit. We can't diagnose on here (of course!), but it does seem like something to look into. I've never taken Seroquel, so can't speak to that, but many here have experience with it. Always important to remember that different things work for different people, because we are all... well, different!

For the work and/or school, that is hard, and I'm sorry you're having a rough go. I've crashed and burned with school before too, so I understand your concern. Is it possible to take a class or two to keep it less stressful and see how it goes? Maybe one class and a part-time job? No matter what you do, it would of course be very helpful to be able to get more stabilized. No doubt about that, and I hope your provider and you can come up with something to help achieve that.

Maybe if you pick one thing at a time to decide about, it will feel less overwhelming -- you don't have to do it all at once, so try not to pressure yourself to. Personally, I'd try to sort the meds thing first, as it would help put your mind in a better place to deal with the others.

Hoping you feel better soon, Meruddl, and can sort some of these things out!
__________________
  #3  
Old Jul 28, 2011, 03:24 PM
Miss Laura's Avatar
Miss Laura Miss Laura is offline
Elder
 
Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
Posts: 5,275
Hey Merruddl,

Man that really does suck big time. I would say go to your doctor's and ask them for help. You are really struggling at the moment. When I lost my job I shut myself off from the outside world mostly and it's really not the best thing to do. Made me even more depressed. Your doctor can help you with meds, counselling???

Regarding your BF, he seems very understanding but maybe is needing some TLC too. I know it's hard to see a Loved One in our situation. Can you maybe speak to him again and see what happens from there?

As Inner said where did you get med for anxiety from if your undiagnosis as having Bipolar 2?

Hope you can find some peace and welcome to the forum
  #4  
Old Jul 28, 2011, 03:48 PM
SunAngel's Avatar
SunAngel SunAngel is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: CT
Posts: 1,145
First, I would go to another pdoc to get properly diagnosed. You said in your post that you were undiagnosed with BP2. Who did that? Were you 1st diagnosed with it and then get undiagnosed with it?

I am on Seroquel and was just taken off of Seroquel XR. The Seroquel I take all at night and it helps me sleep. I used to wake up hungover from it but it passed. However for me, and I mean for me only, the XR version did zap my personality and creativity, and I was just existing.

You are in a very difficult situation and I really feel badly for you.

As far as going back to school is concerned, every school now has a Disability Dept. Go to that dept. and disclose your illness to them and they will make special accommodations for you, like giving you extra time to complete your assignments, exams, etc.

I want to wish you all the luck in the world at sorting everything out. You are in a very difficult situation. Just remember that you do have a disability and they have to make special accommodations for you.

Welcome!
__________________
When life keeps knocking you down again and again, get up, dust yourself off, give it the finger and continue on.
Reply
Views: 459

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:05 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.