[allme]

Hi guys..

I have been posting alot about how good I have been feeling today after my 'episode' over the past few days. Well, my brother just sent me loads of txt messages telling me he cant take life anymore, how is is scared, crying and shaking...I tried to call him but he wont pick up. He then txt how he doesnt want to live anymore. I REALLY dont have the resources to deal with that so i called my dad and told him to pls talk to him and was honest about what I had been going through. So I txt my brother, knowing my dad is now in touch with him and told him I have run out of phone credit. Is that bad of me? I just cant deal with it and am not qualified for this kind of thing either. All I can do is tell him to go to the hospital but as far as anything else I just cant manage. Right now I have to keep my own sanity in check. Does that sound selfish? Because hell, I feel terribly selfish and a part of me wants to 'save' him. I know I cant...but I have this thing in me where I want to 'save' ppl....does that make sense?

I want to turn my phone off. I know my dad is talking to him...so he has support.

I am going to turn my phone off. I feel like such a ***** for doing so but I cant risk a repeat of the last few days and hospital again

[Miss Laura]

Hey Allme,

I think you did a very brave thing and brought your Dad into the equation. You need to look after yourself first and foremost. Your Brother is needing someone to tell him he is needing to go to the hospital. Your Dad will do just that. I would say you have nothing to feel guilty about. You can only deal with so much as you are human afetr all. Please don't worry excessively

[allme]

Thanks Laura....its just hard ya know? I love my brother and although I have had a good day today, I just know dealing with my brother, which would end up being hours, would just put me right back where I was. The problem is, he wont help himself....how can you help someone who doesnt want to help themselves?

[lynn P.]

((allme)) - I agree with Miss Laura. You did the right thing in contacting your dad - do you think your dad will insist he gets proper help?? He needs to be in the hospital and watched carefully by professionals. You're right, you're not strong enough or qualified to help a suicidal person. Imagine if you're blind and your brothers blind - would you be able to help him cross the street? - of course you wouldn't. You can let him know you wish you could help, but you're in crisis ATM too. I hope your brother gets the right care and hope both of you will have better days ahead.

[allme]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

((allme)) - I agree with Miss Laura. You did the right thing in contacting your dad - do you think your dad will insist he gets proper help?? He needs to be in the hospital and watched carefully by professionals. You're right, you're not strong enough or qualified to help a suicidal person. Imagine if you're blind and your brothers blind - would you be able to help him cross the street? - of course you wouldn't. You can let him know you wish you could help, but you're in crisis ATM too. I hope your brother gets the right care and hope both of you will have better days ahead.

Hey Lynn Thank you!

Yes he is still talking to my dad but I doubt he will go to hospital... He split up with his long tern girlfriend 6 months ago and has just been back intouch with her about the kids and its sent him into a frenzy. I suspect he is also bipolar but he refuses to see a doctor so dont know for sure. Its just so frustrating!

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

((allme)) - I agree with Miss Laura. You did the right thing in contacting your dad - do you think your dad will insist he gets proper help?? He needs to be in the hospital and watched carefully by professionals. You're right, you're not strong enough or qualified to help a suicidal person. Imagine if you're blind and your brothers blind - would you be able to help him cross the street? - of course you wouldn't. You can let him know you wish you could help, but you're in crisis ATM too. I hope your brother gets the right care and hope both of you will have better days ahead.

Lynn, I was trying to figure out exactly what to say here, but you put it perfectly with the blind/blind analogy.

Allme, you have to take care of yourself right now because you have just been through hell and back so you should just let your dad take care of things, shut your phone off, and just think that your dad is over there handling things for your brother.

You are far from being selfish here. You have to take care of #1 here and that happens to be you right now.

[Phoenix_1]

I agree with everyone. You need to take care of yourself right now. You were sick only 2 days ago and you're still fragile. It is absolutely not selfish to let your dad take care of your brother. It doesn't matter what your brother's issues are. You do not need more stress right now. Shut off your phone and know that it's just what you have to do right now to take care of yourself.

[BlackPup]

The above posts say it all....
I just wanted to add my for you. It is a horrible situation to be in at the best of times but when you are feeling fragile, even worse. Take care.

[allme]

Thanks guys

I left my phone off and decided to go on facebook to catch up with some friends etc and then my brother came onto chat! And then so did my dad asking me questions about my brother....if I had spoken to him anymore and if he was ok. I asked hadnt he been speaking to him..he said yes but only on face book You see, my dad has always protected my mother (she has bipolar, unmedicated, very fragile) so he didnt want to upset her. So I made sure he was ok, he said he was going to sleep and sounded calmer so just told him I was here if he couldnt sleep as I couldnt sleep either. Not after all that anyway. I stayed up watching films until around 4am this morning and checked on him again but he was asleep. Checked on him again this morning and he has gone into town with a friend so alll is good. However, my dad needs to be a dad and he cant expect me to take on my families problems especially when I am not in a fit state to do so. Yes I am feeling better but come on...give me a break! He knows what I have been going through but still he continues to put this pressure on me. Well today, my phoned will be off and facebook will also be off and even my house phone will be unplugged! Need some 'me' time today...gonna relax, to hell with the house chores lol and will have a film fest whilst curled up with my dog on the sofa. She loves a hug and so do I so we're both in for a treat today lol.

Thanks again!

[Miss Laura]

Hey Allme,

I think you are doing the right thing. Give yourself a break. I hope you enjoy your film fest... I too am in that kinda mood. I am still in my Pj's lol

I'm sorry you ever had to deal with that, allme. After what you've gone through this week, it really blows that you had to handle yet another situation. As if yours weren't enough! There's no room for blame to be placed on anyone in this situation. You're bipolar, your brother is probably bipolar, your mother is bipolar, & your dad probably has a hard time trying to juggle all of the polarities around him! Hopefully it all gets sorted out soon. My wishes are with you.
Have a good, relaxed day today dear. God knows you deserve it!!