[NuckingFutz]

Having a hard time not voicing my reality. For someone who has a time with what is real and what is fake, what is important and what is not, I'm having a hard time. Well, I live in Vegas so that could be part of the problem.

I'm currently staying with my sister and immediately realized how superficial (haven't heard that word here in Vegas yet and been here six months) things are. It's not the best place for my personality which is more real and down to earth. I mean, let's get real... who ever came up with the idea that cell phone towers were suppose to look like palm trees in the middle of the desert is pretty nuts...even the idea of real palm trees in the middle of the desert seems crazy to me.

I also think it's really stupid to have thousands of colored flashing lights in the path of oncoming traffic. The only people who would not agree are insurance companies, light bulb manufacterers and casinos. I also don't appreciate huge video billboards of skinny women dressed in gold sequins struting there stuff while I'm trying to keep my eye on the guy who is right at my bumper.

Watching my sister, although I love her dearly, well, there has got to be some undiagnosed something going on there with her. Tonight she's cleaning the house before the maid comes tommorow. Yesterday she spent $75.00 at the hair salon and couldn't wait to tell me how much she disliked it as I drove her home.

I'm kind of scared about something medically. She has non-empileptic seisures and just got approved for disability. She has an agreement with her nurologist that she will not drive until she is seisure free for 3 months. I think this is a relatively short period of time...especially now that I am driving. Would you like to be driving your family knowing that there is a woman out there that has a seisure disorder (no known cause, no known cure) that may be driving in about 6 weeks)?

I was using my sister's computer before...I've heard of mania spending sprees but what I saw her buying on there...man oh man... were talking $49 for an once of liquid make-up then *****ing about the price of gas.

I have a hard time when we go out because she tells me about 10 minutes before and then 2 minutes later, tells me it's time to go and I'm always running late.

I guess the bottom line is that even though I am hypomanic, I see crazier stuff going on all around me. Sometimes I feel angry because I feel like it's not okay to express this as it will not bring about change. I feel like I'm holding in all this crazy stuff. Even when I journal it out, it doesn't quite give me a good end result.

I just hate it when people and establishments try and be all fancy. I mean there is simple and elegant and then there is downright garishness.

Anyone else wanna share their gripes about this or a similiar issue?

[allme]

Hey there!

I can't really comment about your sisters spending on hair and make up as I love to spend on those very things too. Why? Because it makes me feel good! I think aslong as she isn't spending beyond her means...it's ok isn't it? Is there something else going on within you? I can understand the driving thing.....I would also be VERY concerned about that too, have you spoken to her about it?

Do you have the option to maybe live outside of Vegas?

It's good to vent! So if you need to, keep doing so!

I know exactly what you mean, NuckingFutz!! I'm constantly in my own little world & perceived to be insane, meanwhile the media & all of these ridiculous people out there are doing **** three times as crazy as I would ever do! You are DEFINITELY not alone, I assure you... People drive me crazy!! Hahaha

[venusss]

it's not bipolar, it's homo capitalist. The evolunionary peek of humanity.

[Phoenix_1]

Hey NuckingFutz, I hear your frustration.

It's hard to watch people we love when they're going on a spending spree.

I could never live in Vegas - you're right - which parts are real if any?

Hang in there.

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by NuckingFutz

Having a hard time not voicing my reality. For someone who has a time with what is real and what is fake, what is important and what is not, I'm having a hard time. Well, I live in Vegas so that could be part of the problem.

I'm currently staying with my sister and immediately realized how superficial (haven't heard that word here in Vegas yet and been here six months) things are. It's not the best place for my personality which is more real and down to earth. I mean, let's get real... who ever came up with the idea that cell phone towers were suppose to look like palm trees in the middle of the desert is pretty nuts...even the idea of real palm trees in the middle of the desert seems crazy to me.

I also think it's really stupid to have thousands of colored flashing lights in the path of oncoming traffic. The only people who would not agree are insurance companies, light bulb manufacterers and casinos. I also don't appreciate huge video billboards of skinny women dressed in gold sequins struting there stuff while I'm trying to keep my eye on the guy who is right at my bumper.

Watching my sister, although I love her dearly, well, there has got to be some undiagnosed something going on there with her. Tonight she's cleaning the house before the maid comes tommorow. Yesterday she spent $75.00 at the hair salon and couldn't wait to tell me how much she disliked it as I drove her home.

I'm kind of scared about something medically. She has non-empileptic seisures and just got approved for disability. She has an agreement with her nurologist that she will not drive until she is seisure free for 3 months. I think this is a relatively short period of time...especially now that I am driving. Would you like to be driving your family knowing that there is a woman out there that has a seisure disorder (no known cause, no known cure) that may be driving in about 6 weeks)?

I was using my sister's computer before...I've heard of mania spending sprees but what I saw her buying on there...man oh man... were talking $49 for an once of liquid make-up then *****ing about the price of gas.

I have a hard time when we go out because she tells me about 10 minutes before and then 2 minutes later, tells me it's time to go and I'm always running late.

I guess the bottom line is that even though I am hypomanic, I see crazier stuff going on all around me. Sometimes I feel angry because I feel like it's not okay to express this as it will not bring about change. I feel like I'm holding in all this crazy stuff. Even when I journal it out, it doesn't quite give me a good end result.

I just hate it when people and establishments try and be all fancy. I mean there is simple and elegant and then there is downright garishness.

Anyone else wanna share their gripes about this or a similiar issue?

I definitely would not feel safe knowing there was a driver out there who can have a seizure.

As far as Vegas is concerned, I cannot comment because I have never been there, but I do know how superficial some people can be because I grew up in a rich town in CT. I never got a superior attitude, but my mom did have one. Whenever my friends and I would go to parties in a different town, they always remarked, "Oh here comes the "Cheshire Girls". When I worked and people asked me where I was from and I told them, they would say, "Oh it would be nice to have a tennis court and a swimming pool."

I hated how we were viewed because I never developed a superior attitude like everyone else in that town have. I think the suffering I have gone through made me a better person with a good heart and do not have an "attidude". I am my own person and I like the way I am and not superior to anyone. In fact, I feel most of the time that I am inferior to most others.

All I can do is be the best person I can.

[ladyjrnlist]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

it's not bipolar, it's homo capitalist. The evolunionary peek of humanity.

Has anyone told you you are mentally ill lately?

[Ryask]

Originally Posted by ladyjrnlist

Has anyone told you you are mentally ill lately?

lol

[SunAngel]

Originally Posted by ladyjrnlist

Has anyone told you you are mentally ill lately?

LOL, you are so funny!

I don't think we are quit done evolving yet, I mean we are getting even more hairless, bigger forehead, soon too have larger eyes and greener skin, soon we will be the aliens we picture, then we can leave the earth we've destroyed and continue to glutinously destroy the entire universe!!! Yay!

I do hate they way we've become,and we are not all like this but a good many are, and the rest of the ones who are not still get caught in the trap from time to time. I'm fairly poor, and humble, but even now and again I catch myself thinking I "need" a flat screen. Do I need it, no. My old tv still works fine, do I even watch tv, no. Do I try to be prettier and have anorexia partly due to media and how I should be, yes an I hate this. I wasn't raised this way, but I wasn't raised to feel like I was good enough either, so now I constantly battle with myself for some esteem. Not worrying about what I have, It's really hard.

[Ryask]

Originally Posted by Anika

I don't think we are quit done evolving yet, I mean we are getting even more hairless.

This is a blatant lie...have you seen my toes? i nearly look like a damn hobbit!

Some of us a little less evolved than others

[Ryask]

gee thanks :P

Originally Posted by NuckingFutz

Having a hard time not voicing my reality...Sometimes I feel angry because I feel like it's not okay to express this as it will not bring about change. I feel like I'm holding in all this crazy stuff. Even when I journal it out, it doesn't quite give me a good end result.
Anyone else wanna share their gripes about this or a similiar issue?

Though on a different issue, I can oh so very very very much relate to the above. Very nearly brought me to tears. You've put it so well. Thank you.

On the over-the-top consumerism and total overkill of stimuli? Oh.so.yes. Though I must admit that when hypomanic, I'm prone to get caught up. Would so much like to have that money back. It may seem to others to be small potatoes in terms of the culture here, but it's definitely been out of control in terms of my economic world. And ridiculous things? Yeah. But in a relatively normal state of mind? I just don't get it. It's just TOO MUCH! And has a very big tendency to bring out the worst in people. It's so damn pervasive and in-your-face, not "believing" in it can make me feel like a freak. There are of course others who see it too, but by the very nature of things, it's not as obvious that this is so.

(Heh. Cleaning before the cleaner comes? You'd be surprised how many people do that. I used to do cleaning as a business. Just me. Tendencies to Monk-ish ways made sole proprietorship pretty much a given, lol. And trust issues, but that's not an lol.)

Always a pleasure to see you on the BP forums, NuckinFutz!

I think consumerist, superficial types aren't really as much evolved. It's the under evolved human psyche attempting to cope with the extent of our technologies & the depth of interpersonal interactions. Instead of viewing the possibilities for innovation & partnering with other intelligent minds for the greater good, we try to hoard technology to be seen as cool & alter our bodies to be seen as attractive. Tsk tsk at our primal nature, laden with the need to harvest & procreate.

[SmilingMask]

Ahhhh someone in Vegas! I lived there for 6 years and just moved away 8 months ago. I did like living there but I lived in Henderson which was so much more normal, however, I now live in a VERY small town in the south and things are so much better for me mentally. I knew about a year ago that I needed things to be much simpler....everything in Vegas is complicated. No one is in a hurry to do anything yet its nothing but go go go! I enjoyed my manic "shopping" days there and loved being able to cut loose on the strip- I know that wasn't healthy however.
This is where I'm supposed to be, I know it, the town is smaller and easier to manuever; I have an amazing T that I didn't have to wait months to get into and my pdoc is a bit of a drive but worth it. Things are much more simple now.
I know the pace and I loved the word "superficial" you used! They have no idea of the meaning there! I think if you use it in public they will just look at you like you are from Mars!!! Good luck to you. I'm not sure what part of the valley you are in, but if you can get away, there are many quiet places that you can go to. Boulder City has no casinos and even though Lake Mead is so low, it's nice to look at. If you are on the west side, there's always Red Rock and the Valley of Fire. You can message me anytime if you are looking for a place to escape temporarily.