[BlueFaith]

<font color="blue">.....some people have to be such a'holes??!!!
Geez!!! I always try being the NICE one... the one who helps out... the one everyone can depend on... the one who puts my wants and needs on the back burner just so everyone else can have what they want and need. Why is it that I'm always the one getting the crappy end of the stick??? My family just never understands... and I'm always the bad guy. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! </font>

((((( Jenn )))))

They make you out like the bad guy to diffuse the attention away from their own crap. It makes them feel better if they can make you feel worse.

It's them hon, not you.

[BlueFaith]

Thanks, tunia. Right now I just wish I wasn't me.

[arli]

(((MP)))

I can`t tell you WHY, but I`ll try to cite my good friend, psychologist. He helped me a lot to understand HOW should I react , telling me this:
"The hospitals are full of people who are diagnosed to have some mentall disorder. Unfortunately, the true is that most of them are perfectly normal but they got sick of their familly`s behavior or hard social conditions "

Probably my translation is not very good but I am sure you will get the point.

It helped me a lot to understand that in this world being good person, being carefull and nice can very often lead us to frustration, depression and deep, deep feeling of being worthless or helpless.

Keep your way but protect yourself as well. Maybe we can`t choose our family but we can choose our friends.

[darkeyes]

I agree with Petunia, what she said is so true.
Easy for me to say, but don't let them get you down, I know it's so hard, but just hang in there, and talk with us.

"me"

[Azalysa]

{{{{Jenn}}}}

From interacting with you on these forums I know what a wonderful, fun, helpful, selfless person you are.

I used to feel everything was my fault (and to a degree still do.) My ex-husband preyed on that feeling in me until it deepened. Know I know, in retrospect that HE was the one with issues.

Love ya, hun!!

remember my signature that went something like this "just because you are a nice person doesn't mean the world believes it anymore than the bull won't charge you just because you are a vegetarian".

[BlueFaith]

Ya know what, Pat? I actually DID think of your old sigline yesterday when I was feeling like that. And it's so true, too.

[JustBen]

Make a New Year's Resolution: This year, I'll try to get my needs and wants met as much as I try to help others. (I'm as deserving of good things as anyone else, and since no one in my family wants to help me, I'm going to help myself.)

Okay, I know it's a little bit "Stuart Smalley", but I think it's true.

[backandforth]

I'd agree that it's probably them trying to deflect attention away from their own problems... my mom always does that, well so does the rest of my family. it's hard, no question about that, but another thingis that often people take it to this extent because we let them. I'm not saying at all it's your own fault, b/c I try to be there for everyone else too, but if you're always tryign to be the good one & help everyone out, they will take it for granted and they will stomp all over you... leaving you twice as exhausted b/c you gave all that you had AND they made you feel worse in the end. at the end of the day, they won't look after your needs or wants... only you can do that, I guess that's the hard lesson.

[hillbunnyb]

Dear Mental, take care of yourself first for a while, just to see what it feels like (after you figure out how the heck to do it...)
We have to learn to keep some for ourselves. We just gotta.
One bit at a time. . .

[Lexicon78]

I get put in the same situation quite often. I'm always there for other people when they need me but as soon as I'm the one in need they turn their backs on me. It really does suck.

[BlueFaith]

Thanks, y'all. It's definitely hard, but I am slowly learning that it's not always my fault. And most of the time it doesn't even have anything to do with me. I just get SO aggravated with the whole situation sometimes. I'm doing better, though.