my oldest refuses to accept the fact that there are times when staying alive is all i can do. she's really upset with me right now. she wants me to be available for shopping, cleaning house, etc. at the drop of a hat. sometimes if you dropped a hat around me, i'd have to go to bed for a week! the med cocktail that was working seems to have gone haywire now and i'm going to have to call the Pdoc today to see what we can do. she yelled at me for 20 minutes yesterday.

my daughter was on heroin for 7 (yes SEVEN) years and i took her to our ranch and she cleaned up. two and a half years out of my life. it was worth it. but she's forgotten that. in fact, i think she still has "using behavior", even though she is clean. my solution is to clam up and not answer the phone or the door.

any suggestions? she reads a lot...so she knows what i'm dealing with. she just refuses to accept how bad it is. and the carbon monoxide poisoning made me so very sick and she blamed that on the BP. ??? this used to be a very smart individual. i think she's forgotten her experiences and refuses to accept mine.

any help at all???? please.......

Pat, it's one thing to be clean, it's another to be in active recovery.

My brother was "clean" from heroin addiciton for eight years before he relapsed and overdosed, resulting in his death at age 38. He was only active in a recovery program for the first two years, then he stopped going.

Maybe you need to remind her, "I was there for you when you couldn't see the light. I could use some of that light from you right now."

I'm sorry. It's hard I know. But addictive behaviors just don't go away just because your body is clean. The mind is still polluted.

it's called a "dry drunk" and i've known for years that she is in that. she hasn't been to a meeting in years and years. and yesterday i did remind her of what we had been through together and she went off on me until i started bawling. "that's unfair" "it has nothing to do with today". in my way of thinking, it has everything to do with today. that's why she's being an ***.

[BlueFaith]

Ouch. I'm sorry she's making you deal with this on top of everything else you already have on your plate. Bipolar makes us hard to deal with at times, but those are the times when we need the most love and understanding. It's very hard for others to understand that sometimes. Others seem to "blanket" themselves from the REAL truth about bipolar disorder, therefore making it 100 times harder for us "bipolarbearians"( ) to deal with it ourselves! We need support, love, and understanding. There are times when I crave those things so bad.... times when I just want someone to say, "It's ok, we'll get through this, let me take care of you for awhile."

I understand, Pat. The people around us need to understand how dangerous it is to critisize us when we don't know if we'll find the will to pick ourselves up again.

And how can she possibly blame carbon monoxide poisoning on you having bipolar??? Geez. I'm just sorry you have to deal with this.

We'll stick together here, though. You just keep tappin' those feet even if you can't get up and dance just yet.

you caused me to smile!!! i know she's frustrated and upset with a lot of different things. but you're so right about being bipolarbearian, sometimes if someone would ONLY say, "ill help you through this".......i'd probably cry.

[Beautiful_Pain]

{{{{{Pat}}}}} Everyone here will help as much as possible, even if it's only listening and giving virutal hugs. You are important here, to alot of people.

Be gentle with yourself =)

[arli]

I am sorry you are going trough this now.
But, please, try to see things from the other corner. I`ll try to be short.

1. your doughter is still weak and unstable (and she knows it)
2. she needs you to be stable because she is unsecure
3. she refuses to admit that you are ill - because it means that she should take more rensposibilities. Huh - you can`t expect that somebody who was on heroin for 7 years can handle real rensponsibility.
5. she is so negative toword your condition cause she is afraid, she is very afraid...

Probably she feel lost when you have crisis. She is trying to control situation but on the wrong way, obviously.

Maybe you should ask her to help you on very certain way - t telling her what she is expected to do - clean, cook...whatever. Or ask if you two can do things together - it could help you as well and make her feel capable and useful.

I am sure she loves you very much but she is very afraid of being alone and without support. She needs you more than you can imagine. That`s why she reacts on such way.

Wish you get better soon

[Azalysa]

{{{{{Pat}}}}}

That has got to be so difficult for you, not to mention hurtful, especially how you helped your daughter get through he addiction.

You said she reads a lot and I got the impression is knowledgeable on Bipolar illness, so that doesn't seem to play into it.

I would agree a big factor is fear. Fear of losing you; fear that you wouldn't be able to help her if she needed you, who knows, all kinds of reasons.

Sending warm thoughts to you....

i agree that a lot of her anger is fear. i just don't know how to help her see that. we've always been very close and i think she is afraid that i'm slipping away. and in some ways, i am. then i climb back. you know how it is. it comes waves and then there's very little activity.

i'm going over there tomorrow, day off, and help her get packed for Austin. maybe that will help things. xoxoxo pat...thanks!