Confusing Feelings - Relationship Question

So I wanted to know something...

I currently am close to having a relationship, but I find myself in a difficult position.

Each time I get a manic episode, I feel like I want to have a relationship with him and that I like him....

But when my mood drops, I question whether I really like him or not and if I really want to be with him in that kind of way.

Does this or has this happened for any of you?

When I first met my current boyfriend, who I truly feel is my soulmate, I was in similar circumstances. Not only am I Bipolar, but I have ASPD, which makes it very hard for me to deal with interpersonal relationships.
I met him & went totally head over heels in 60 seconds flat. I just HAD to know him & every little detail about him. I was confident that I was going to land this one. A few weeks later, I start becoming reclusive & stopped talking to everyone online, including him. I was like, "I really don't need anyone, especially a relationship. That's just way too much trouble & I am just going to get ****ed over". Fastforward again to a week after that... I start sleeping with one of my exes & get into a relationship with him, meanwhile I am having episodes while on the phone with my current & unveiling truths about myself that I've never felt comfortable confiding in anyone else with. Next week, I break up with my ex, & my boyfriend makes the move on me. Now we're living together.
Sometimes, you just have to go for it & take the chance if there is the possibility you want to have a relationship with him. What's the worst that is going to happen? You're going to find out you guys weren't made for eachother? It's all about a learning experience & about living your life, versus standing on the sidelines wishing you had done things differently. Unless he's a genuinely bad person & there are strong legitimate reasons not to go after him, there's no reason not to try. Do what makes you happy &, if you wind up unhappy, start over & try again.

Thanks, Shayatanica. That helps a lot. I dated him before, actually, but my insecurities (and smething he did) caused me to end things. But now things are sparking back up again and I really think I still like him... So I think I'm going to go for it and deal with it one step at a time.

I hope it works out for the best, but if it doesn't, at least you'll know what doesn't work for future reference!

Strangely enough, I'm exactly the opposite! When I get depressed I'm a lot more prone to get attached to someone and want to be with them, especially if they are the next best thing to a mama-bear kind of person, which is awful, but regardless of whether I truly like them or not, it gets to the point where I feel I'm using them so I shut them off. When I get manic I don't want to be tied to anything and anyone (what about all the other unexplored possibilities of things, people, etc?!)

To get to the point - I think regardless of how different moods affect you, it is wise to test how you feel over a period of time without putting pressure on yourself to make a decision at a particular moment. As you said - one step at a time and see where it takes you Also, remember that even non-bipolar people are somewhat in the dark in the early stages of a relationship

Before I was married, I did the exact same thing. I wasn't diagnosed at the time, but did the same thing all the time. I would get manic, love the guy, and then all of a sudden, not want anything to do with him.

I really hope things work out for you because I know how difficult this can be.