could you tell?

Do you think its possible you could ever tell a close friend who you liked as more than a friend something very personal like a mental illness to? Or is too hard?

Oh Feeling that's a tough call. Are you this person that wants to tell someone about your illness, or is it the other person who you are talking about the one who has a mental illness?

It was easy for me because I was already married when I got my official diagnosis. So, he was stuck with me, lol.

If you trust this individual and you're the one who wants to disclose this info., then I would say go for it, but don't make it out to be a big deal. Whenever I tell friends, I joke about it while I am telling them to lessen the blow and that usually works.

If it's the other person who has a mental illness, it has to be up to them whether to disclose this info. or not, but if you say that you will be there with them through anything, I think they would be comfortable telling you.

Good Luck!

Ooh, that's really tough. I honestly don't know how to help, I'm more so lending the support of 'I know how that is'. I told my two best friends, but I currently am close to having a boyfriend.... And I Don't think I'm going to tell him. My reasoning is that relationships (I'm a high school student, by the way) don't last long at this age and could end up very ugly, so to save the tragedy that could ensue, I don't want to say anything.

I don't know if this will help answer your question or not, but there you go.

I agree that its a tough call and really depends. How much do I trust the person? How close am I to them? Have they said or done anything that would give me pause to share this with them?

I started off just talking with a friend (who started as a co-worker) about how mental illnesses affect those around me and how it could be affecting some people around her and she seemed very understanding of the impact of mental illness. It took several months of discussing mental illness in general before I trusted her enough to tell her I was BP. She reciprocated by sharing with me that she was being treated for Atypical Depression. Fast forward a year and we're now best friends, talk almost every day, and support each other when we're feeling down.

It was very, VERY hard to work up the courage to tell my friend about my BP and I knew it would be a game-changer in our relationship. The key is, she earned my trust and I knew I could tell her and she wouldn't tell anyone else about my condition. Once I established that, I just "put it out there and let the chips fall where they may".

It really is a very personal, very situation and person specific decision. I will say this, she has quite honestly saved my life by being there for me when no one else was (including my wife) and we love each other like brother and sister. She is a HUGE part of my support network and I frequently thank her for being my friend and and all she's done for me.

It really is a tough call and in the end the only advice I can offer is that I've been there and I know its an extremely tough call. For me, the payoff was worth it. But at the same time I have numerous other friends whom I am close with and whom I have not told and probably never will tell. I looked at it from a cost/benefit perspective initially - whats the absolute worse that can happen by telling her and am I willing to risk that happening for the chance of sharing this? Based on their behavior I've observed, their comments, etc, are they likely to understand or get freaked out? Would they ever share this secret with anyone else I didn't want to know or otherwise use this knowledge against me?

It is an exceptionally hard decision, and one that rightfully deserves a lot of thought. I hope this helps and that you reach an answer soon. It can be done and it can have a wonderful outcome, but even I know this would not be the result in all cases, I really REALLY got lucky in knowing and sharing with her.

Good luck and best wishes. Feel free to message me if you want to discuss further.

I also got my diagnosis long after I was married, so hubby just has to put up with me. I also told my parents. I have some close girl friends and I told them. They are from South American where mental illness is not stigmatized, and they said that they loved me because I was so AFFECTIVE. LOL

I would not tell most people,but sometimes if you are close to someone they pick up the fact that you are different. But I still think it is your right to be confidential about your disease.

I told 2 or 3 close friends when I first found out because I was seriously struggling. One of them I already knew had BP, so we were able to help eachother a lot & still do. One of the others exploited by illness so she could deem herself as superior over me, so I ended that as soon as I moved away, & the other was relatively supportive though he recently broke my trust.
When I met my boyfriend, when we started to get serious but before we officially got together, I broke down & told him all of the dirty ****ed up details about my past & about my mental eccentricities. I figured "If I can't be totally honest with him, then it's not worth becoming invested in a relationship. If he doesn't want to accept it, then I can go find someone else who is willing to".
And 8 months later, we still have the strongest relationship ever. It also turns out that he might have the same exact afflictions as I do. Uncanny, aye?

i told everyone i was close to when i was diagnosed.. some understood.. some didnt.. the ones who didnt understand ended up not being worth my time to be friends with.. but as for relationship advice.. i told my hubby flat out everything.. it was a hard convo to have being as we were just starting out in a new relationship.. but it was worth it.. believe me.. you dont want to hide anything from the other person. It will end up comeing out and then a fight will start and they will think that they cant trust you. so open up and if they dont take it well.. then it wasnt ment to be..

Im for telling people, you just have to be careful about HOW MUCH you tell people. I have lost people by revealing way to much and overwhelming them. I try to reveal it jokingly. I dont know if i do it for healthy reasons tho. I think I will tell anybody as a way to excuse myself, that way if they find any reason to judge me, they can chalk it up to me being nuts and not some other character defect.

I dont like telling people that dont need to know, as i find they dont actually understand what Bipolar is and then they start to look for the traits in you and anything out of character worries them.
I tell the people who i know i can trust.
I found myself talking to a nurse the other night who is a friend of a friend and she understood the illness well, and i just blurted out loads of stuff to her, just got it off my chest, it can be hard sometimes to talk to the people you know the most.
But as a rule, i dont like to sit down and say to someone, "hi, i'm bipolar."
If you're spending a lot of time with this person i would tell them though, i get people who get to know me in one episode and dont like me in another, then if there is a dramatic change they wont be so shocked.

Thanks everyone!! Its the other person that would be disclosing the info, I am the friend/girl who has strong feelings for the guy, Im not exactly sure whats the issue but its not only depression, we were very close at one pt, then he pulled away, he wants to tell me but can't and isnt sure why, seems so sad about it, he said he wished he could. Im thinking its because we have been friends for so long, I think maybe he may start seeing girls to see if he can talk about it, its so hard , i wish he could tell me, and im being supportive because i want whats best for him,but thinking of him with other girls kills me, is there any way he could tell me? has this ever happened to anyone?

In all of my relationships, it was always my behavior not my illness that made the biggest difference with people. Sometimes being the one sharing the information is very scarey because it defines us in a way we dont want to be defined. Maybe just affirming him for the person he is and your feelings for him will give him the courage to share when he is ready?

You seem like a very caring and understanding person who has the patience he needs to encourage him.