Tomorrow

I don't know if this is a good place for this or not but seeing as how it involves my bipolar I figured I'd put it here.

Tomorrow I have a birthday party to go to. If you knew me, you'd know how big this is. I hate being near people, I get too nervous and don't know what to say. My paranoia kicks in full blast and everything just goes down south from there.

I want to cancel and say I can't go, but I know I can't because my friend (who is someone I haven't spoken to since the school year and we haven't hung out in over three years) said that she can always count on me... Because a lot of people were canceling on her party. So I know I have to go...

I just don't know how I'm going to handle this! I never go out and do anything. I usually stay at home and hide away in my bedroom all day long because that's where I feel happiest and safest.

What should I do?

I would recommend taking some anti-anxiety meds (if you have any) and attending, even if just for a little while. Its hard to handle BP and the phobias and anxiety that goes with it, but its even harder to handle it all alone. It sounds like your friend is really depending on you and I think its important to ask "Has this person been there for me in the past? would this person be there for me if I needed them in the future?" I think that if you do not attend, then you may regret it. Does your friend know what you're going through and how much it frightens you? Even if you only show for a little while and then have to leave, I think your friend would appreciate it and who knows, maybe you'll have a great time too.

I hope you consider going, even if for just a short while. Good luck with whatever choice you make!

Oh, I'm going. I wouldn't bail on her like that. I just want to know how to handle being there. She's been there for me and been really nice, I couldn't just leave her like that. She doesn't know, though. We're not close enough that I'd want to disclose that kind of information to her.

I'll be sure to take my meds in the morning, so I'll be okay when I go.

Thanks.

To be honest i have been in the same situation and i am NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD DO THIS but i have a few drinks before i go, not get drunk or tipsy but enough to just be relaxed, then again i'm not on meds and i realize that this is a pretty losy coping mechanism...so.....yeah

Can u organise to meet up with someone who is also going? Meet somewhere before-hand and arrive together.
You are a good friend to do this for her, even though it is taking a lot from you

I would also take anti-anxiety meds. before you go if you have them available to you.

If you will not know anyone there, stay close to your friend during the time you are there also.

I know the feeling well. I hate to go to social settings.

Let us know how it goes.

Good Luck!~Hugs

Thanks for all the advice everyone! I'll be sure to let everyone know how it goes.

I hope it all goes well, you are a much braver soul than I.

You are doing the right thing, it is so hard to pull ourselves out of this, and you are awesome for being there for your friend.

Thank you everyone.

Though, there's a new issue thrown into the mix. I have OCD and one of my compulsions (or obsessions, whichever) is that when someone's pregnant, I obsess over it. I really do. And one of her friends is pregnant. Like, really, really, really, pregnant. I can't stop staring when I see it and I don't know what to do.

I'm still going! But now there's even more trouble thrown into the mix.

You are such a brave soul!

I think this will be a good experience for you and I am proud of you for going!

So I went! She was really, really happy I was there and I'm happy for that. The party, however, was bad, but not as bad as it could have been. I was quiet for most of it, just sitting there at the table listening to them talk. When talked to, I'd talk and that's about it. When they dropped me off at home, the whole ride back was great. I spent the time catching up wtih my friend.

So it was bitter sweet, really, but because of it I might have gained back a friend that I thought I lost.

That is wonderful news! You did great!

Thanks! I feel really great about going, especially because one of her so called "Friends" bailed on her party just because her boyfriend couldn't go.

So I'm glad I could make her happy. She told me she knew that she could count on me and that she was happy I went since we've been like best friends since the fourth grade.

Still trying to bring the nerves down, but it's definitely better now that I'm home.

I am glad to hear you are in a spot now that is a sanctuary and safe spot so you can get leveled out again.

Thank you, me too. For sure.

So glad to hear that you went and that it turned out well for you! Now time to give yourself a big "pat on the back".

Thanks! And tomorrow I have another social gathering I'm going to. I don't like that there were two stressful events in two days, but if I managed today's alright, tomorrow's should be easy.