Hypersexuality?

Or just normal. I am 39 and boy they aren 't lying when they say sex drive kicks in for women at this age, unfortunately so did memories of sexual abuse flashbacks and body memories come with it. I have a lot of sexual issues that I am being forced to face andadmit that I am frightened. Trying to sort all of this abuse stuff out while also facing possibility of being bi sexual first time really facing that possibility head on and it is truly terrifying to deal with all of this clean , even tho the onlyh drugs i've ever used have been sleeping pills and xanax, but it got bad many times in my life where I wasn't trying to end it, but just to stay numb and i basically popped more pills everytime I woke up sadly it ended up having to be more and more at once to have the same effect that one used to hve and I was so frghtened, I beat a bad addiction to xanax and will not accept that medication for anything. OMG I am really rambling here, opening up more than I EVER have without disocciating and its kinda scary to me but anyays, the reason I am wreiting has to do with last night ,I have known a guy in my life for over ten years, he was introduced to me from a nother friend hoping it would help me get past a traumatic relationship full of all kinds of abuse that I am just now accepting as abusive and this guy despite all of his feelings for me that were not able to be returned has remained my friend there for me through it all, texted me daily long conversations to help me with my depression and despair , even sexted (*texted lol) as that felt relatively safe. I am here today in large part because of him consistently being there for me setting aside his own feelings for me to help me through my pain. I am so grateful anyways, through th years he has wanted me to send him a picture of me and even playon the web cam with him something I am very uncomfortable with, kind of hard to hide and be invisible on web cam, but I did playi a bit on the cam by myself taking pictures nothing too bad just some sexy poses in lingerie with thehopes of being able to share one with him as i feel he is a dear friend who has helped mea lot and its just something I wanted to share with him so I finally sent him one through Yahoo messenger and was able to get instant feedback from him about how I looked which again really healed me a little bit, was that disgusting what I did? Its not a bad picture, its quite beautiful actually. I feel a little happy that I was able to show him how much I actually do trust him and yet feel a little frightened by my behavior ty for listening.

You did absolutely nothing wrong. You trust this guy so please stop worrying about it.

Just so you know, I am also bisexual and belong to an online dating service looking for a woman. My husband knows and he is not upset at all.

Whenever anyone requests pics. of me, they are not the cleanest pics you can send, but they are the pics they are looking for.

I can see how your past is sneaking up on you with all the abuse you suffered, but you need to talk to a therapist to get through it, as well as your feelings of being bisexual. It is nothing to be ashamed of. You cannot help that aspect of your life because, quoting Lady Gaga here, "Baby, You Were Born This Way".

I want to wish you all the luck in the world.

Yeah ur husband wouldn't sorry a little upset have had a lot of trauma and feel really physically ill. not sure i[m bi les what I am confused

As long as you trust the person, there can be no shame in forming a sexual aspect to your relationship. Hypersexuality, at least for me, means lurking about to seek out trysts from people I don't really even intend on talking to, let alone keeping a relationship with them afterwards. I know with sexual issues it can be scary to form intimate relationships & I realize that, even when you're doing the right thing, it can seem bad sometimes. But you just have to take it step by step so you can form a healthy bond with someone without having your issues in the foreground of your mind. And also, in terms of being bisexual: So am I. In order to come to terms with your bisexuality, you're going to have to stop beating yourself with all of your "flaws" & really learn to understand & love yourself.

I thought I was the only one.....

I am not that open about my sexuality but when I am hypersexed (like now) I only think about insatiable urges not sex with my husband. I do not like labels so I dont think of myself as bisexual....I just feel sexual. I don't want a girl/girl relationship; I want companionship with a female that is intimate.

I don't think you did anything wrong; but I understand how you can feel like you did. Us survivors of sexual abuse have a warped sense of what is right and wrong with our bodies. It takes a long time for us to be ok with how we feel emotionally and physically (and I am nowhere near that!). Try not to be so hard on yourself.

PM me if you want to chat. Im on yahoo and aim.

I don't really know if you are experiencing hypersexuality.

When people with BP Disorder get manic, they want to have sex with anyone without forming an emotional bond.

Whenever I get hypersexual, it's all about going to bed and having sex with a man or a woman without an emotional attachment which I have to fight because I am married and will not cheat on my husband with another man, so I just go with females because he is fine with that aspect about me.