[manicminer]

After this past weeks experience of being off meds for 12 days straight, I must highly encourage everyone to take thier meds like your pdoc instructs. No matter how strong willed or hard headed you may be, you can't fight the reactions going on in your brain.
I got it in my head that I was bigger than the illness and since i had stretched my one month supply more than 2 months, I would be fine going off them alltogether. Man was I wrong. I got manic to the point I was digging spare change from under my truck seat just to go to the bar. The last straw was when the morning after a night of manic drunkeness, my roomate came home to every light in the house on, every door wide open including the fridge and the tv and deep fryer on. This made no sense since I locked up the house and turned everything off before going upstairs to get on the comp. and go to bed. I was so wound that I did this all in my sleep and had no recollection of how any of it might have happened.
I went to the pharmacy the next day and got my meds. Thanks to this site's discount card, they cost me $20 instead of $200.
So the next time u feel like tempting fate, think about if wrecking your house and wanting to kill yourself is really worth it.

[charlene323]

Thanks for the advice, my husband has it in his head that I can beat BP by changing the way I think. Well in his case maybe but in my head I don't control what goes on, I've tried and it doesn't work. Thanks.

[kaliope]

I really, really, really, really, really hate having to take meds. And I didnt do crazy stuff when i was manic. I maxed out credit cards, thats the worst. I paid my bills, then gambled away the rest of my money. Didnt get myself in any trouble. I would write long personal emails that embarrassed me to people. But I did have voices in my head and I did get suicidally depressed and I did experience psychosis, life felt totally out of control. I was a rapid cycler. I had a nervous breakdown. I was hospitalized against my will.

And I SO DONT WANT THAT BACK!!!

[wing]

One of my docs told me years ago that most people with BP go off their meds an average of 3x before getting the message. I ended up in the hospital every time I tried to go it alone. Learned my lesson! Staying out of the hospital is my #1 motivator for taking those blasted pills every day!!

[popeye]

I hate taking my meds too but if I don't I will end up in the hospital or prison. I get homicidal.

[manicminer]

Can relate to all of you. I did a lot of drunk driving with a pistol by my side this weekend. even ran out of gas and while waiting on AAA a cop stopped to see wat was up. he looked all over the vehicle but didnt seem to notice the revolver, shotgun, deer rifle, and 2 bows. lucky for him i wasnt full blown at that point.

[popeye]

Originally Posted by manicminer

Can relate to all of you. I did a lot of drunk driving with a pistol by my side this weekend. even ran out of gas and while waiting on AAA a cop stopped to see wat was up. he looked all over the vehicle but didnt seem to notice the revolver, shotgun, deer rifle, and 2 bows. lucky for him i wasnt full blown at that point.

You were really lucky...so was I...I drank and drove for decades without a ticket or arrest. I used to drink with the cops and as long as I stayed in my hometown I was ok..sometimes they would follow me home ...just to make sure I got home. One time I left my gun on the dash at the bar...I could not believe I did not get busted for that.

[manicminer]

I got two underage drinking violations while in college which resulted in license suspension totalling 1 year 3 months. At 20 when i was hospitalized I was not only diagnosed bi-polar, but an alcoholic as well. after the hospital i didnt drink for 6 weeks, the longest i had gone since 16. but then i turned 21 and the rest is history

I can't drive & can't fire a gun, but when I would go on my long walks, I would always carry a switchblade on me. I don't know why, but I was convinced that something was going to happen & I needed to be prepared. I was always in a ****-starting mood when I'd be out on my own & around strangers. Especially at night.

[manicminer]

I get that too. now i carry a razor knife at all times (need it for work) and have a gun close-by whenever i'm not at work. don't know what i'm so paranoid about. its mainly because its my American right to do so.

Well, I can respect that. Though anything more than a pistol & perhaps hunting gear kinda makes me skeevish... But then again, I'm more of a blades person anyway. I wish I knew what made me so paranoid, too. I didn't really even live in a bad neighborhood! Blah @ paranoia. It really gets the best of us sometimes. :P

[popeye]

Originally Posted by Shayatanica

I can't drive & can't fire a gun, but when I would go on my long walks, I would always carry a switchblade on me. I don't know why, but I was convinced that something was going to happen & I needed to be prepared. I was always in a ****-starting mood when I'd be out on my own & around strangers. Especially at night.

I am always armed with something even though I am well trained in the martial arts. Usually a blade but sometimes a small pistol.

[lostbythesea]

Originally Posted by charlene323

Thanks for the advice, my husband has it in his head that I can beat BP by changing the way I think. Well in his case maybe but in my head I don't control what goes on, I've tried and it doesn't work. Thanks.

This never works. I hate when my family thinks that way about my bp. I know what your feeling

I have gone off meds many many times, never is good. However I still crave no meds, I am a sucker for punishment I guess. Also I am never armed, but I don't thinking Canada that's allowed. And I am pretty sure weapons and me don't mix.

[widgets]

I really enjoy the feeling of taking my meds, it never happens but every time i take it, i feel like, now everything will change and be better.
I suppose in a way they are doing that because without them things would be so much worse.
But i look forward to taking them, because for that moment, i have pride in myself for taking them and hope that this time i will feel better.