Time To Say Goodbye...

So we have to put our dog down tomorrow, more than likely... I don't handle death well at all, even if it's with a dog.

But there's something that's bothering me more than that fact.

Really, I should be saying that it's not bothering me. It's like my body is trying to combat the depressive feelings I should be having (we've had her for thirteen years! That's a good chunk of my life!) and make them into feelings of not caring.

Do you think this is possible? That it's just my brain's natural response to the depression, to make me feel like I don't care about her at all so that when the time comes to lose her, I don't feel as fazed?

I feel like a monster and a horrible person for not feeling badly about the situation... I only just now started to feel a little upset.

I am so sorry about your loss. But I believe your brain is trying to use your coping mechanism right now.
I did the same when my grandmother passed, she lived with me. I won't go into details, but my brain did this and I was going crazy with the guilt of not crying or the sadness I should have been feeling. But I had a lot of things I had to accomplish with arrangements and the such.
After awhile, you will balance out then you will be able to start the grieving process.
wishing you peace

I know a pet is like a member of the family. I am so sorry for your loss. If your dog has been suffering, then I am sure a part of you is glad that will be over soon. I think this is your brains way of coping at the moment so don't be hard on yourself.
my thoughts are with you

I think you are dissociating in a way now. When your mind is able to handle grieving then you will grieve in your own way. This is nothing to feel guilty about.

I am sorry for the loss of your pet.

I definitely relate.

I had posted how after we put out dog down, who was like a kid to us, and I went totally euphoric manic.

My pdoc said that when we lose an important person in our lives, our brains try to compensate by going manic to help protect you from going into a depression.

I never even cried at both my parents wakes or funerals.

In fact, I was in a good mood and felt guilty for it, but I couldn't help it.

I am sorry for your loss...I had the same thing happen to me with 2 dogs that I loved alot. I lost one 3 weeks ago and it did not phase me at all. I actually put her down myself with an over dose of opiates. Ughhhh! This sucks.

When you come online, can you please let us know how you are doing regarding your loss.

We haven't had to put her down yet. My parents are putting it off and if I had any say, I'd say do it now since she's really miserable. They just can't seem to let go.

So I'm doing okay for now. Thanks for all the help and support!

I am so sorry what you are going though. I think your mind is doing just fine, don't feel guilty! You know she will not be suffering anymore, I know it's still hard but sounds like she had a long good life!

You shut down.....brain needs to process the grief and loss...It will come...the tears...they will flow and you'll feel better...A dog or a pet are so special, so beautiful...life is nothing without an animal. I am so sorry you are losing your friend!

Ditto with Star7 Loosing a pet is so very tough, happened to us last year. You have nothing to feel guilty about being torn on "how" to feel. Do your best to take care of the way you feel about you!!!

Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote about the five stages of grief. The first is denial. Perhaps your mind is in denial of your pet's death to help you cope when you lose her. Your mind may be shutting down in order to get you through this week and what's happening.

I didn't cry at my parent's funerals either, SunAngel, I had the old British(Canadian) stiff upper lip. I can't remember crying at all, actually. And I didn't cry when we had to put my 14 year old doggie down from kidney failure. From 1997-2011 I didn't cry, then I just lost it this spring. Cried and cried like a baby.