what is going on

For the most part I'm depressed and with all reason the girlfreind left with the kids and I'm stuck in the apartment alone that was once home to my family but since then one day I'm so hopeless it feels like death might be an escape and the next I see light at the end of it all thinking I will be better moving on. some days I sleep too much the next none at all. The same goes for energy some days too much others not at all is this a mixed episode or ... I've never felt like this

Just wondeirng, do you have a diagnosis of bipolar? This could be a slightly mixed episode but it's also very possible tha tit's just your depression with atypical features, like not sleeping and thens leeping too much, and with energy. If you are on medication this could also cause your fluctuatiosn in energy and sleep. As fo ryour thoughts about death and then seeing light the next day, that doesn't mean anything to me, except that some days you may not be as depressed as others, which is really a good thing. In order for this to be a mixed episode you have to have way more energy and less sleep and such than is normal for you, so not jus tmore energy and less sleep than when you're depressed. You'd have to ask your therapist or pdoc though.

Bipolar check. I don't know if it feels like more engery but I'm diffenatly getting work done faster then normal so maybe I'm diffenatly asking bout it this week