being triggered by abusive past showing up

today I got 4 calls from my ex MIL. I had fled an abusive relationship after pressing charges and going into three different women's shelters with my three small kids. That was almost 8 years ago. I have had no contact except through lawyers a few times. Now they call and tell me they are in my town and have some family albums, that I obviously would love to have. We had fled with the clothes on our back and nothing else.I have not talked to any of them in years.

We live in another province and we are quite far away. I have been very depressed lately and I had to leave my house and go to the bank mall etc. The whole time I was out I felt scared like someone was watching me or following me. I just thought this was behind me. I thought the PTSD was behind me as well. I am worried this is going to make things spiral if I don't figure out a way to process. This town is my safety net. I cannot handle them being here. I can't help feeling like it is a trick.

I did not answer the phone when I saw the number, just sat here and listened to the msg's.

I'm glad you didn't answer the phone. Have they moved to your town or are they visiting? Either way, if you want the albums, rent a post office box and send them that address. Don't give them your current address.

I know how you feel. I fled my abusive husband with only a small suitcase and a small box of photos of my kids in Nov 2009. I spent 6 weeks in a woman's shelter, and Dec 22, 2009 I got my apartment. 3 days before Christmas and me with no furniture, etc. For a long time I was afraid to go outside. I cut all my hair off and got a different coloured winter coat and always wore a toque when walking. Every time I saw a mini van I would cringe. I got some quality help from the Domestic Violence Outreach Program here and they helped me get a peace bond.

About a year ago my doctor (GP) told me that my ex had left town and that he (the doctor) had shipped my ex's medical records to Edmonton, so I could breathe easier. I still have agoraphobia, though, which I never had before.

I had no kids with me this time but in 1981 I spent 6 weeks in a women's shelter with a baby and a two year old. I know how hard it is.

I'm glad you didn't answer the phone, it would have been a big trigger.

Do you have anyone safe that could go get the photo albums for you? Photo albums are gold. My ex threw all my photo albums away.

they said they were just visiting, but didn't say how long. I am just trying to process the feeling that they could show up here any given day. I have put it behind me for the most part, and wasn't expecting to suddenly feel thrown back in that place. Just figuring out how to deal with the feelings.

phoenix, I am so sorry you have had to live through this too, what a nightmare .