Lately this has become unbearable. I've always had anxiety issues and panic attacks, but this has been ridiculous. EVERY DAY. Large portions of time. I have been conscientious of using my PRN alprozolam very sparingly and only with the worst. But spending various hours light-headed, feeling like I can't breathe, heart pounding and not able to function is not good either. Even with taking some (I try to always just stick w/ .5), and consciously trying to breathe deeper and more slowly, I still often find myself curled up in a ball, tormented. I know they can't hurt me per se (so yeah, working it from that angle as well), but honest to God! This is really starting to get in my way.

As if the depression wasn't kicking my *** enough by itself...

Left msg today with my psych for an appt. I don't even know why I'm writing this. Know it is illogical, but I can't help thinking that I really am a hopeless case, and was really afraid to call. Visit before last, just the severity of the depression stuff had her really worried. I hate to add to that intractable mess...

Sorry, all. I'm really sick of me too. Alas that screaming, "Stop! Stop! Just make it STOP!" isn't working...

[BNLsMOM]

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I have been having intense anxiety and panic attacks lately too. I also put in a call to my pdoc.

I wish you relief.

[kaliope]

Wow, it sounds like you are doing everything Innerzone. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I know panic and anxiety sucks.

One of the things that works for me, but you kind of have to have being able to relax established already is to get yourself to relax, like you do for meditation. you cant panic and relax at the same time. I will go thru stages where i go panic, relax,panic relax, panic, relax over and over in a minutes time but eventually i can get the panic to go away.

another thing i do is imagine a meter in my head. and with the panic the needle is measuring up to 10, so i visualize turning the dial down on it to zero with it the anxiety level going down, i do this as many times as i need to for the anxiety to go down.

hang in there and i hope you find some relief.

Oh right, kaliope! Good ideas! The first one I've used something like it with body tension... never thought to use it in this way. (You know, the start at your toes and try to relax your way up... which usually upon getting to the knees, has to be started again(!)) (I do a larger area one with driving. My feet right through my legs --and my whole body, really, but ankle/leg is by far the worst zone-- are constantly completely tensed. No matter how long the drive. Relax. 15 seconds later, it's right back where it started. Relax. I work very diligently on that. Not much progress, but I keep on trying. Took me years to even realize I was doing it, despite always hobbling upon arrival(!) )

And the second one... yeah, kind of like biofeedback, right? I've worked with that one with migraines (meds, yes, but still...) and other kinds of pain. Again, never really thought of that in this context.

Will definitely try these. (Heh, if I can work them all at once, I'll be like a one man band!)

I'm willing to try about anything. I hate when it consumes me so.

[dirt69juggalo]

I'm having the same issues right now and I don't even have the money for my lorazapam I don't know why but everyday by mid day I'm flipping right out I can't handle work anymore

[Trippin2.0]

Awww IZ that's so terrible. I hope you feel better so0n. I understand what you're going through...

dirt69juggalo, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this too. It sucks! Work probably isn't helping mine either (ok, definitely not helping... scattershot hours, mostly all night graveyards, still waiting for a bunch of Aug. pay and all of Sept., we're losing a third of this theoretical pay supposedly towards benefits that I don't believe will ever happen...and frankly, I just need the straight up money, you know?! Etc etc) A lot of the worst days do correlate.

This past year has been unprecedentedly stressful, and it does make me wonder if it's a matter of reaching a point where mind and body have gone into complete revolt, you know? Was lucky today. Anxiety, but not overwhelming. Reprieve has been rare. I'll take it.

I hope you get some reprieve, dirt69juggalo.
BNLsMOM, did you hear back from your Pdoc? (I've not heard back from my psych yet. Maybe tomorrow. Just can't imagine what she can do, really. Try anyway I guess...)