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#1
Oct 03, 2011, 06:45 PM
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UGH!!!! People don't know how hard it is for me to act normal. Its a full time job in itself. This morning at work I couldn't control it anymore and started wiggin out a bit and gettin pissed off. Everyone could see it.
Just wanna act like a normal human being, at least when I'm at work or in public. Normally I can hold back the demons and not let them surface, but they were out in full force today. SUCKS!!!! 
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BIG changes on the horizon  Hopin' it all goes well... Oxcarbazepine: 300mg 2x/day Fish Oil, Vitamin D3, Magnesium, Lipitor, BEta-Blocker |
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#2
Oct 03, 2011, 06:59 PM
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Yeah, been there myself with this recent manic episode of mine....ugh! When I was going into mania, but not completely off my rocker yet I was still working and I remember I had no off button on my mouth, I would just say whatever came to mind and cringe afterward and say "Ohh I was just kiddin'".... then another time I couldn't muster up the niceness to say "just kiddin'" and I said ..."I just say what everyone is thinking and don't have the courage to say".... Oye e vay I'm lucky I didn't get fired.
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 manicminer
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#3
Oct 03, 2011, 07:03 PM
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 I've made a fool of myself in public before as well. It hasn't happened since then but that is probably because I won't go anywhere that MAY trigger extreme emotions unless I am absolutely stable. I am very lucky I don't have to work, so I don't have to worry about snapping but I am sure that I would, as I snap at my father for things that are small and meaningless. I hope that you can find a way to calm the anger.
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And what I wouldn't give... to meet a kindred.  Blue skies are in my head
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| manicminer
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#4
Oct 03, 2011, 07:49 PM
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I might have an idea, don't be too hard on yourself, I am sure we have all been there in one way or another. I know I have. We can't always be in full control 100% Of the time. I know that must have sucked for you , but hopefully will all blow over quickly for for you. Just don't want you to be too hard on yourself as I am sure you are trying your best.
Last edited by Anonymous32507; Oct 03, 2011 at 08:09 PM. |
| manicminer
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#5
Oct 03, 2011, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
Wishing you strength from the demons tonight, we're all here!
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| manicminer
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#6
Oct 03, 2011, 11:16 PM
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They're comin for me. but im gonna keep myself busy enough to hold em off. meds will help when i take em here around 1-2
__________________
BIG changes on the horizon Hopin' it all goes well... Oxcarbazepine: 300mg 2x/day Fish Oil, Vitamin D3, Magnesium, Lipitor, BEta-Blocker |
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#7
Oct 03, 2011, 11:27 PM
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My pdoc and I were talking last appt about how stable I am and ready to go back to work and he said, you realize even without the mental illness you are rather peculiar. Yes, I know, doc.
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
| AniManiac, noneedtoknow
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#8
Oct 03, 2011, 11:28 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BIG changes on the horizon Hopin' it all goes well... Oxcarbazepine: 300mg 2x/day Fish Oil, Vitamin D3, Magnesium, Lipitor, BEta-Blocker |
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#9
Oct 03, 2011, 11:36 PM
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I guess in some ways being an individual is way better than being the senseless masses. It sucks a lot but life could be really boring instead and that may suck just as much?
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#10
Oct 03, 2011, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
__________________
BIG changes on the horizon Hopin' it all goes well... Oxcarbazepine: 300mg 2x/day Fish Oil, Vitamin D3, Magnesium, Lipitor, BEta-Blocker |
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