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You're a kid,
You dont get enough attention, so you're naughty, (but you're only a kid, so you cant rationalise and predict the consequences of your actions)
So you do something awful,
you get told off,
you get upset,
they're still angry, so you dissociate, you stop caring, they've ignored you, they've made you cry, they've hurt you,
so then goes the cycle.
ignored
naughty
abused
dont care

and then you're an adult and you're messed up, and theres no excuses any more you just are who you are

nothing to do with bipolar, i'm just sick

I don't think this is a healthy cycle that everyone goes through. This might be something to discuss with your therapist.

[Detach]

Thought my childhood was bad...eeks. Sorry, you had to deal with that. I know it took me many yrs to deal with what I went through myself. You can over come this however with help. My Tdoc says I say/do certain things because of childhood programming...those patterns are real hard to break at 41 yrs old.

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I'm 21 but i am finding it equally as hard.
I'm making it sound worse than it is, i just got a bit angry earlier!
When i was younger, i needed attention and didnt know how to go about getting it, so i'd break something, then i would get punished more than what was necessary for the thing i had actually done, so i became numb to it, and didnt care about anything they said any more, so they gave me less attention, when i was doing as they wanted me to do, so then it would just go round in circles.
I heard my stepdad going MENTAL at my little brother earlier because he had broken his glasses, and yes he should have been more careful, but they're making him into someone he doesnt need to be, he is just going to end up like me.