[Detach]

If you had told co-workers what happened? were they understanding or do you regret doing it?

I've been off work on short term disability since Sept 6th...my husband called and told my boss I'm BP and she said she had to tell the administrator above her and human resource of course, but stated no one else would know. My co-workers have no idea why I'm out, but they will ask me when I go back...
I don't know what to say? I'm a nurse and most my co-workers are nurses also.

[dirt69juggalo]

when i told a couple of co workers it wasnt a big deal. i mean for the most part they crack jokes about it which isnt too bad atleast they arent afraid of me like i expected

[Detach]

Originally Posted by dirt69juggalo

when i told a couple of co workers it wasnt a big deal. i mean for the most part they crack jokes about it which isnt too bad atleast they arent afraid of me like i expected

Yeah, I hate lying... I don't know what to do?
The HR lady called me last week and I asked her what my co-workers think is wrong with me, she said right now they are "assuming" it is your multiple sclerosis (which is reasonable). So, I could just go back and let them think it was my MS.... but I'm afraid how I'll look in the eyes of those who KNOW it wasn't...

[Moose72]

DId something happen bp relayted at work?

[roads]

No, I haven't. I tried explaining being a recovering alcoholic when we went to "hang out" together after work, & all most got was the alcoholic part & one said I really shouldn't tell people, I just shouldn't drink in public.

So, no. When I was in the hospital my mdoc called my boss to say I had a bad reaction to a drug. They bought it, especially since no one visited me to discover I was in a psych ward.

[ohlala]

No. And BP issues weren't the issues I had at work, although if they had been I wouldn't have revealed it. I'm a retired psychatric nurse. I just don't get it when people feel it necessary to reveal medical details and issues at work. Unless you require special accomodations, (and even then it's your employer's business, not the employee's concern), why should it be their beeswax? More fodder for water cooler gossip IMO. If pressed you can say you had some "medical issues" but you're feeling better and happy to be back at work. Only an insensitive nosy busybody would take it to the next level by specifically asking you what was wrong. In that case, you can politely say you'd rather keep it confidential. As people in the medical profession should know, confidentiality is paramount.

[nacht]

Honestly, I'd just say "I had some medical issues" if asked and leave it at that. It's not really anyone's business unless you choose to make it their business, and I'll admit I've always been wary of office gossip. I had exactly one coworker at my last job who knew about my BP and that was only after we'd been friends for over a year.

I work with a pretty tightknit group, so I told them. It wasn't a big deal and really never comes up unless I have to miss school due to a hospitalization. And in those cases they've been really supportive. The BP is never an issue in my ability to perform at work, so it is really pretty much a non-issue.

[Detach]

I'm a home health nurse.... It's a relatively small office and everyone knows everyone else's business and if they don't... they'll ask. Trust me when I say I will be hounded for the reason I was out... But, no, I don't want to be gossip'd about or made to feel like a freak.

Moose,
No, nothing happened at work per se...I worked while hypomanic, but no one seemed to notice. I can be a little high strung at work anyways, so no one blinked an eye. When I became full blown manic I did not go to work and haven't been back since. FYI- I am no longer manic...

[onlymedid]

I have only told my closest coworkers and my boss. Everyone worries about me more than anything. They have all tried to understand BP and some even have done research and now know more than me...lol

I have no problem sharing my bp issues with friends. I am so far along the "who gives a damn?" road that there's no longer any shame in my game. In the work arena, however, it does seem pointless; most of my co-workers probably think bi-polarism is some sort of global warming phenomenon, so really there's nothing to be gained by mentioning it. Last work period, I found myself discussing my brother but now regret it. In general, I am hyper-conscious of not wanting to make it ever seem as if I am angling for "extra" sympathy or attention. When I bring up the subject, even with close friends (not many), I am very matter of fact when I discuss it, much as if I am discussing a new novel or a woodworking idea.

[Detach]

Thanks to all who replied!

I don't know what I was thinking.... the last thing I'll need when I go back to work is... "all eyes on me".

I think it was the book I just read "An Unquiet Mind" By Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison. She is the psychologist with Bipolar that wrote this memoir book essentially "outing" herself to the world.

In my life I've always had to be very honest regarding my medical hx, maybe more so then others, until this dx. What I mean by that is... I have relapsing remitting MS and an exacerbation can hit suddenly and it is noticeable and scary for me and others, because my symptoms can be severe. So I've always told people who will be around me often about my MS.

However, I think I've come to my senses regarding my BP and I think I'll keep it out of the workforce other then my bosses and HR who already know.

[Detach]

Originally Posted by gulas

most of my co-workers probably think bi-polarism is some sort of global warming phenomenon

Love this comment, it made me chuckle!

[jnhuscg]

I did, and it was mostly a mistake. Being in the military they automatically think you're super crazy like the guy that shot up the Air Force base in San Antonio. I hate being stereo-typed.

I'm no different than anyone else! I just have a chemical inbalance in my brain. That's what I told them, and now I'm worried about being discharged and people look at me differently, even though I have the highest performance evaluations out of anyone I work with (over 300 people).

Oh well. Whatever

[BlackPup]

I tell people coz I think people need to be able to talk about their problems to someone, and if they know that I have struggled then maybe they will feel comfortable talking to me...

[Detach]

Jnhuscg,

So sorry about what you're going through... from your other thread topic I know this must be really very difficult since you had said your job is on the line. And now with this post....telling people at work, them looking at you differently....not fun. Yeh, I don't want to go through that, it's bad enough that my boss and the boss above her know now and they might look at me different.

[espritlibre]

One person knows (see other thread), one probably suspects, and I have considered telling my line manager as she has a sibling with BP. That's enough for me, I feel.

[espritlibre]

Originally Posted by dijmart

I think it was the book I just read "An Unquiet Mind" By Dr. Kay Redfield Jamison. She is the psychologist with Bipolar that wrote this memoir book essentially "outing" herself to the world.

That's the book I'm reading at the moment! Love it, so beautifully written.

[kindachaotic]

Nope never did. Worked 6 more yrs before disability & didn't want the gossip & them always looking over my shoulder. They did know I had ADHD so that was a good cover cause most of those yrs before meds I worked most of the time with hypomania. Only bad thing about that though was the insomnia...

[roads]

Originally Posted by jnhuscg

I did, and it was mostly a mistake. Being in the military they automatically think you're super crazy like the guy that shot up the Air Force base in San Antonio. I hate being stereo-typed.

I'm no different than anyone else! I just have a chemical inbalance in my brain. That's what I told them, and now I'm worried about being discharged and people look at me differently, even though I have the highest performance evaluations out of anyone I work with (over 300 people).

Oh well. Whatever

Hey, you at MacDill? Seeing the Rays & all. I'm from Tampa Bay.

Well, thanks for serving & kudos for your performance evals. How unimaginably sucky if you were discharged because you told coworkers you were bipolar! Does the military know? Is it just the coworkers who are making a big deal out of it? I mean, you're being treated, right?

I hope it all works out. I am so grateful for what you are doing for this nation through your military service, and my prayers are with you in this and all your needs.

[Raindropvampire]

I got FMLA becuase of my BP. I've also had a few "episodes" at work. My boss actually told all the people in the department that my "episodes" directly affected. I was a bit miffed because it was my place to tell but they have all been super supportive. One lady came up and told me she was so sorry because she had been telling everyone what a B**** I was. Now she knew it wasn't true and she felt bad. I cracked her up because I told her no I really am a B**** I just happen to be crazy too. I also told anyone if they had any questions to feel free to ask. I had nothing to hide and BP was nothing to be scared of. One guy had so many questions for me I felt like I was at the T's. Once I explained everything to him he's been my biggest help. Every time we work together he asks if I'm ok and is there anything he can do for me. I'm sorry for anyone who's had negative experiences

[CruiseAustin]

Yes, I told a co-worker I have BP in confidence. She went and told my boss. I was out on FMLA at the time and they forced me out of my job. I really resent how it all went down.

Best of luck to you.
Sharon

[hsurp1]

Yes, but ONLY a few. I was a BOSS so it was hard for me when diagnosed. I had to come clean to my bosses but I was not treated well afterwards. I was switched to another boss and I told her and she treated me well but I messed up once changes were made with new bosses. But I was treated hard I think because my boss used to be someone I trained (as well as were others though). She was very understanding when I explained I had to leave the office. BUT... then again, I already spoke to HER boss as soon as I came in to work and then went directly to my own boss out of respect. They both understood my need to be on leave (all they had to do was talk to the office manager in charge of everyone). I never came back. My last day is 02/24/2012. But the company IS taking care of me. I am lucky I got a full pension and 401k and Severance, and time off pay. I have been with the company since 1990 and they took care of me since I was out as of 5/5/09.

[Detach]

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

My boss actually told all the people in the department that my "episodes" directly affected. I was a bit miffed because it was my place to tell but they have all been super supportive.

Oh boy, Your boss had NO right to tell them... good for your boss that it went over well, cuz you could've sued....

Originally Posted by CruiseAustin

Yes, I told a co-worker I have BP in confidence. She went and told my boss. I was out on FMLA at the time and they forced me out of my job. I really resent how it all went down.

Best of luck to you.
Sharon

God, I'm so sorry. What was their reason to you that you no longer had a job? Especially if you were out on FMLA at the time.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by CruiseAustin

Yes, I told a co-worker I have BP in confidence. She went and told my boss. I was out on FMLA at the time and they forced me out of my job. I really resent how it all went down.

Best of luck to you.
Sharon

I am on FMLA, too. How did they force you out because FMLA is supposed to cover you and you are supposed to maintain your job.
I think that really sucks that they did that!