[roxyrollercoaster]

Have you ever had a moment or an extended period of time in which you thought "This is what it feels like to be balanced, normal, etc." ? What did it feel like and what were you doing to get to that place?

Hello,

I probably felt at my most balanced, to be honest, when I was getting ECT done. Meds were not working at the time, so I decided to have it done. It worked tremendously. Of course, the memory side effects were awful. When I started to get seriously ill (severe nausea and eventually, vomiting) for days after the procedure, I decided to stop doing it. It would definitely be my LAST option for recovery, but I have to admit that it worked way better than any medication ever did.

That being said, the combo of medication I'm on is doing a pretty decent job, considering I've had bad reactions to other meds in the past. I'm also seeing a good therapist. Other things that I think help me to feel "balanced" is the fact that I'm finishing up my high school credits, eating healthy and exercising 6 days a week. I also sleep for a good amount of time (9-10 hours a night)

[Detach]

Originally Posted by roxyrollercoaster

Have you ever had a moment or an extended period of time in which you thought "This is what it feels like to be balanced, normal, etc." ? What did it feel like and what were you doing to get to that place?

I have posted before that I had a dysphoric manic episode In Sept. (had 2-3 med changes during this time), then I dipped to low so meds were changed again. However, it's been weeks now that I have been the most normal/sane/balanced I've been in probably 4-6 months. I feel even MORE normal then before that to tell you the truth. "Life" does not bother me as much as it did prior, I'm back to work and I'm able to cope with what comes in the moment. Part of my healing has been taking meds as ordered, seeing Tdoc and on my own have been reading as much as I can about living and being "in the moment". Not worrying so much about past and future, but living for now. It helps tremendously. Of course, I'm not perfect and have my slip ups, but I talk about it as soon as possible to try to make sense out of "what the hell happened"? and have been able to get back up, dust myself off and move forward....

How does it feel... It feels good (not hypomanic good). I trust in what I say and do now, my thoughts are slower and I can be patient with people. I can more easily "see" the dysfunction in others now that I'm well. My moods are generally stable- they go up/down but not drastically and not dysfunctionally. They are appropriate to the situation at hand.

[Erkz]

this will sound like a weird response but I think maybe while watching college football? It's a time when I'm so involved in what's happening in the games and how those games affect future games, etc, that maybe I'm too involved to notice how I feel. I don't know that I feel normal but at the very least I'm not paying attention to not feeling normal.

that and some extended periods of depersonalization in which I feel unaffected and detached from my life, productive or not. I know it's not normal but I function very normally and social interactions come easily. People who are familiar with the context of my life can be thrown off by what looks like an illogical reaction to adversity, and I don't get anything out of it emotionally, but it makes for an easy month or so,

[onlymedid]

Right now is probably the most stable I have been in a while. I had to go through extreme mania for 2 weeks and then extreme lows for about 2 weeks and now I am finally stable. It feels like....."normal" for me. At least what I think normal would feel like.

[thinker22]

Last summer '10 the day I started Cymbalta (along with my other meds combo) I felt elated, then "normal". I couldn't believe that this is what other people feel like. My brain was calm and satisfied...not shooting darts at me for ever being born. Depression went away and I did pretty well over the past school year. Since then I've had some meds mistakes (bad reactions), but overall I still have days of feeling "normal" even though we had to add Abilify this summer to help decrease my depression. If my brain always felt as normal as the first year on Cymbalta, I would understand how normal people could be in the rat race, pursue things that are ephemeral, and have a family in an unbelievable time of human tragedies.

I love feeling "normal" because when you're in a pit and still digging down to deeper despair, normal feels like heavenly bliss.

[kj44]

I call normal, clear, if I can speak clear, and thought process clear, I'm normal for that period of time. When I take my meds right, exercise, I feel good. But for some terrible reason, I'm always questioning myself, am I really normal, it sucks, but, life is good!

[~Christina]

I have yet to get stable enough to actually say "im feeling normal" but im certain i will get there ..

Hang in there

Wsihing you Peace and love and hugs

[MSsMom]

I even got through law school and the passed the bar exam--being somewhat "normal," but the work was too much for me and I stopped in 1994.

Since my having my daughter in 1995 I have been up and down, bipolar so much worse than before having a child (I would never tell her that).

I have been a great mother at my own expense--all my energy goes for her and the household.

I don't think that has been healthy and I am in a bad place now, but being a mother with a husband who is away all the time, it is all I can manage.

I was at times normal when I was younger and not on all this medicine--before I was diagnosed in 1996. Once you are put on all these meds and know you have to take them how can you be normal?

[roxyrollercoaster]

Thank you all for your responses. I'm so glad I found this online support group!

[BlackPup]

Up until very recently I was feeling stable for quiet a few months in a row. even through the stress of unemployment I was holding up ok. I have a great doctor and we keep on top of my meds, tweaking them regularly to minimise side effects while still keeping things under control. I try to stay positive in my thinking and do healthy things like exercise regularly (just a walk a few times a week) which I think helps keep things stable. I find work helps but also hinders, the stress is a problem, but the feelings of self worth and having a purpose that accompany the work helps.
For the last few months I have been on Abilify and efexor only because I am trying for a baby.
Just the last few days I dipped again into a mild depression with anxiety, we have already adjusted my meds however the increase may not hit for up to 5 weeks, so I may have some rough times ahead for the next month or so...

Good luck to all, hope you can find meds that help and a happy, healthy state of mind.