[Lil Ant Lady]

i cant shake the feeling of paranoia.

i been seeing a guy and he knows i have a bi-polar disorder as his ex wife was also bi-polar.

but its early days and i really like him.

but its the feelings of paranoia that i think are going to drive him away. he says he really likes me too but we each have very busy lives. i have the two children in the week to look after but weekends they kids go to their dads so i have free time then. I see him whenever i can over the weekend but he has commitments at the weekend as he races, so i goes away alot with his team racing etc.

so i am only seeing him about twice a week at the moment. i look forward to the time coming round all week and cherish the moments we do spend together, albeit goes really quick and i miss him when im gone.

but in the times im not around him i am convinced he doesnt like me.

previously til now i have driven other guys away. usually because I have slept too much (meds) or because i have drank too much. however i dont drink as often anymore as ive realised i hate the person i am when drunk. but the sleep issue still remains. ive missed phone calls and texts from this new guy because i havent been able to keep awake at times.

i am so paranoid he is just going to find someone else or just ditch me. yesterday i didnt hear from him all day from the morning onwards. and today he has gone to Valencia to go racing. i am just convinced this is going to be a short lived affair and i cant control these feelings of paranoia.

ah i hate these feelings. i think im just doomed to be single forever

[alwaysrejoice]

You won't be single forever. If you haven't made a comittment to this guy, maybe you could date other people? Just a thought...

[lad007]

Well if it is the early days, let it develop. There's nothing wrong with not answering texts if you are asleep!
Dating is suppose to be fun. Try to ease up on yourself.
I am bp also so I understand about the paranoia but I think maybe you are getting yourself all worked up. I know you really want this to work, but worrying about it a lot won't help things, and you may get too clingy, and that he may not like.
Try to distract yourself and do something fun while he is off, having outside interests makes a person more attractive to be around.
Excellent job on the not drinking so much!

[jlock4507]

Hugs to you! I am bi-polar as well. I have these feelings towards my husband. I always worry if he still loves me, or doesn't like me anymore, etc. I try to tell myself, that it's silly to think that he doesn't love me, because if he didn't, we would be divorced. I try not to be too clingy as well, because I know that guys really aren't a big fan of it. Is this something that troubles you in all relationships, or just this one?