TDoc Followup Session Tomorrow ... Sorry Everyone

I have my follow-up appointment tomorrow afternoon. I am hoping for it to be nothing like the last session.

I did start coming down from the high. Last night or late yesterday was when my mood started changing. Calming down is kinda mixed this time. Never experienced it quite like this. I will either feel really good but have that huge feeling of dread in my stomach or I am just really down. Up and down all day long. It is not terrible or anything ... just different. I bet they probably wonder what the heck hit them at work today!

I am not sure if this is the easy landing that I was hoping for!?.

I started this thread new even though it was an update from the High and Excited thread. I looked back at that thread and found that I posted in it more than anyone and it is evident that I wasn't exactly "normal" ... even for me! I think I posted all over the place. I felt like a puppy in a new place ... just checking out everything. I tried to delete the High and Excited post but found out that there was a 24 hour magic window in which you can delete a thread.

Sorry guys. Kinda embarrassed.

Anyway ... I had kinda hoped some of the "up" part (whew ... not all of it) had lasted until after my appointment tomorrow. It would have been nice to just be up in there after the last time.

dejavu65,

It's good that you have your appointment with your doc tomorrow. Tell him exactly all of these ups and downs and feelings that way he can help.

I know the high and excited feeling and wanting it to last, it happened to me last month.
I was aware of the fact that I was hypomanic and trying to use it to my advantage, but went downhill within days. Not downhill as in depressed but- delusional wound up in hospital. Just didn't think it would happen so fast.

I too, know that dread feeling in the stomach. It's weird sometimes I wake up feeling that way- like I'm rotton to the core even thought I did nothing wrong. This disorder is so confusing, annoying and unpredictable. Keep you chin up.

And...don't be embarassed its nothing and we are all in the same boat here, we understand.

I hope you feel better.

I hope the session goes well tomorrow & that you're feeling okay.
Don't worry about the thread--we've all had our unpredictable transitions. We were concerned, that's all. We're all buds here!
Roadrunner

Good luck tomorrow.

Did you go?

(((((Dejavu))))) thinking of you. I hope things were easier on you this time. I hope you are ok. And nevermind being embarrassed, I never thought anything of your other post except that I was happy that you were happy!

Yes ... I went. I was much better than the last session. Still shook for most of the whole session. I hate that.

Last weeks session opened up the door for a lot of other things that are going on. I did not even remember talking about some of these things last week.

I hope I am not saying this out of place but I assume we all tend to keep things locked inside ... even against the Docs that are trying to help us.

I am always confused about this PDoc and TDoc thing and what I am supposed to talk about with which.

I know this sounds scattered but this just what is coming to my mind.

Now you see what my Docs are up against! HAHA

Thanks Anika ... I appreciate you guys thinking about me. The High is gone and it is back to the lows full time now. Today was a dark rainy day here.

Thanks to all of you for looking past my "over-the-edge" weekend. I think somewhere in one of those post I invited all of us PCers over to someone's backyard for a Barbecue. Haven't been able to find that post yet.

Hey, dejavu! Sounds to me as if you've made heaps of progress. It'll get even better.

& you assume right. We lock up all sorts of stuff that no doubt our p & t docs would find very useful in helping us. Some of us use double & triple locks! I don't know why. Probably different reasons.

I'm not sure there are any rules about what we talk about with whom. Some pdocs do therapy too. Tdocs often can't prescribe so may not have a very good grasp of meds. Otherwise, whomever happens to be around when I get something on my mind gets an earful. I've never had trouble talking.

Haha yes the BBQ, great idea btw I read that one can't remember now where it is located.

Sounds like you are doing sone really good work Dejavu. I don't believe anything worth while ever comes to us easily. So if the work is hard, it's working. I have those triple locks roadrunner mentioned, my t wrote on a paper to another worker that I am aloof. I really had to think about it, and was surprised. I didn't even see my triple locks, let alone know why they are there. But it sounds like you are slowly opening up.

Keep up the good work!! I'm trying to figure out some kind of snow dance to send some your way

Today my TDoc said something like "We can now count the last two sessions as Session 1 and Session 2." He told me that sometimes it takes us this long to get some things out in the open.

He seems to think that the event we went over in the last session along with some other events are what everything is stemming from. He said these events can even shape who you are. Not sure I know how to take that.

My TDoc cannot prescribe but does have knowledge of what the different meds are used for.

I asked him if he could help me with my confusion over who I should talk to about what. I take in most everything he says. But lately, I am not the best at comprehension and retention, so I sometimes find myself asking some of the same questions again. When I asked him about the differences a second time, we got off on a conversation about why I repeat some questions later in a session. So I lost his answer. I did get out of it that he wants me to call my PDoc in the morning and tell her that I need something for sleep that will work as soon as possible. HAHA

Thanks Anika ...

Great outlook.

I am not sure how I would take that one.

I knew this event wasn't right but I did not think it was affecting me.

Ok ... The snow does not even have to stick just make it snow. At night please. HAHA