[korafrancesca]

What are the crazy/creative/ingenious ideas you have had when you were manic?

I once suggested a research idea that bridged two seemingly unrelated disciplines to an undergraduate adviser, who said it could be "quite fascinating" dissertation and then encouraged me to get a PhD in Political Science. I could never have come up with that in my normal state. Even when I was hospitalized, I spontaneously stood up and gave a very lucid speech during a group therapy session about why we all had to recover and get out of the hospital - because the experiences of pain and suffering that we had made us so much more aware and that we needed to use that knowledge and compassion to help others, that standing in a room on the fifth floor of the hospital, looking out the window at all the people below who might need help, we were like the Gods. Obviously very grandiose, I was manic, but makes sense in a way right? I dread public speaking normally and I can barely form two sentences if I am put on the spot.

Then I thought, "What if I were an investigative journalist pretending to be insane so that I could infiltrate a psych ward and expose the institutional deficiencies of the mental health system?" That would be a good screenplay. I love the idea. And then I tried to start a patient uprising against the nurses a la Stanford Prison Experiment, where the prisoners eventually rebel against the guards. I saw the hospital workers as the oppressors and the patients as the oppressed. I knew at the time that was not acceptable, but I was feeling mischievous. Since I was already in a safe, enclosed facility where normalcy is not expected, why not do some social experimentation?

I find it so bittersweet that I am able to think with so much more originality when I am in a manic mode, although it has only happened once and the negative out-of-control consequences devastating enough for me to never want it to happen again. But still, when it happens, I see patterns everywhere, I derive theories and principles, I write epic essays. Everything makes so much sense, it's all clear and magical.

Then afterwards when the euphoria fades, I can't think so fluidly anymore! Some of my theories and ideas I remember, but others were so complex I can't piece them back together even though I am sure they had some fantastical logic.

[theGirlNextDorm]

I know what you mean. When I was manic, I posted on Facebook constantly, but a lot of what I was posting was very poetic. My friend who didn't know I was manic at the time told me she thought I was just experimenting with a new way of posting, like a new art form. Also while manic, I felt how everything was connected and I thought the world was going to end soon and I was going to play a very special role, a la the book of Revelations. Deluded! But it felt magnificent.
Also, in the hospital, I tried all kinds of sneaky ways not to take my medicine, like hiding it under my tongue or discreetly spitting it back into the paper cup. So then I was given a shot on my rear end, but I was fighting and screaming. I didn't like taking it because I read One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and the nurse we had was always in a really sour mood. When I asked her what the meds were for, she said they would "clear your thoughts." I thought she was going to brainwash me.
So my ideas weren't all that brilliant, but they were very exciting!

[mgran]

Wow, GirlnextDorm... I know that connectivity thing, particularly relating to the Book of Revelation ... and the whole creative thing too. I once wrote a novel in three weeks. (Having reread it a year later, it was actually pretty good.)

It does feel wonderful when everything's connected and you can see the patterns. It's one reason for medical non compliance I think.

Kora... my genius ideas were pretty embarassing in the sober light of day. Trying to learn books of the Bible off by heart, learning pi to the umpteenth digit, deciding that I was going to learn Polish, Arabic and Chinese at the same time...

Generally I start consuming information, then putting it together in weird ways. And I talk far too fast. And can't stop.

[AniManiac]

I wrote a very nicely crafted 100-page dissertation proposal in about 7 weeks when hypomanic. For context, it seems to take most people 6 - 12 months to write a proposal.

My work takes a sharp turn for the better when I'm in an elevated mood. Being able to see all the connections between things is an enormous advantage - though sometimes they are a bit off-the-wall, so it's a good thing I have other people read things over before I send them out.

I may have had one full manic episode many years ago, but I don't remember any particular brilliance coming out of that. Mostly just stuff that I actually do regret doing, which is pretty unusual for me.

[korafrancesca]

GirlNextDoor, I thought/did some *really* similar things when I was manic too, like posting on facebook in a "new language." I had taken a poetry and poetics class as a senior in college and we learned about dadaism movement, this bizarre poetic form created by Eastern Europeans in WWI. It's just non-sensical, non-semantic syllables and vowel sounds. I never understood it when I was in class, but suddenly I totally got it! Maybe the poets had BP too. I also thought the world was going to end, because it was getting close to 2012! Also thought I could walk on water, understood the essence and genius of Gandhi, and that the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama. From someone who is not religious, sure dreamed up a lot of religious symbols.

Mgran... I would love to have written a novel. I just sent out some very long emails. I wish I could have been more productive and written a book. You should try to get it published.

Wow, animaniac, impressed by your writing talents.

[theGirlNextDorm]

Morgan, those things you tried to do, like learn the digits of pi and three languages, are things that a lot of non-manic people do, too. So I wouldn't be embarrassed by them . And you wrote a whole novel! That's impressive. You should try to get it published, like Kora said.

It's kind of nice to hear that other people have gone through a lot of the same stuff I did. That's one of the reasons I really like PC

[thelittlethings86]

I tend to get more into crafty projects with my son. I made him a magnetic chalkboard and that I painted his name onto, I've built volcanoes and I spend a great deal of time cleaning and "organizing" things. However, I've noticed that when I come down, I'm not really sure where I put anything.

[Hearty]

Put together a successful small business in 3 weeks.

I created a line of women's ##### for high-end #### around the country. Four months into the venture, I met a man (spectacular at the time) on a plane, and gave it all up for love. Yes, it was amazing, and no, it didn't last.

[naturalmanic]

There are lots of very clear lines between manics and their thoughts. Research "group think" by Skinner, dabble in anthropology and puts some words on paper while not manic. As a writer, poet, artist, and lover of learning and a knack for remembering things mania acts like other stimulants and can lead to acting like hypnotics, and psychedelics. Coming upon such states of mind naturally has always been enlightening, but the repurcussions are not worth it. Shot to the ***? They gave me three and I was still stumbling around in progressive circle in the group are in the middle of the night. I always envisioned myself as a shaman or yogi in a sense, but when manic, and then coming down of of mania, I see very clearly there is a great play of genius I have tapped into. I've also found other ways to tap into brilliance, mainly being around other brillant people and being self-aware. I don't like to think I'm missing out on anything by not being manic, but I am. Most historic mentally ill brillant people were ardent drug users and needed a lot of support from family, friends, and religion. Mania is brain damage. So watch out! But man does it taste good. ---One personal expierence is when I was diagnosed as having a messiah complex when in a mental facility, everyone else was calling me Jesus, including myself, but I never thought of myself as one, but sure had a better understanding of how leverage and electro-magnetic forces work, and could talk anyone into a lull, but also was aghast at the ethereal forces at work are so inept and cruel. Keep on writing, please, all of ya'll. Words are best weapon, whether while we're down or up, or helping ourselves or others. Enjoy!

[mgran]

Kora, I didn't think I could walk on water, but I have thought in the past that I could fly. I was also pretty certain I could make myself invisible, and control the weather.

[AniManiac]

Originally Posted by theGirlNextDorm

Morgan, those things you tried to do, like learn the digits of pi and three languages, are things that a lot of non-manic people do, too.

Long before mental illness kicked in, I had memorized 26 digits of Pi. I was extremely envious of the math tutors (who were college students, I was in HS) who knew over 100 digits.

I also studied 4 languages (plus English) way before having serious mental health issues. But that was over a period of years - so I guess time scale and intensity might be more indicative of whether that's normal vs. manic behavior.

[mgran]

Learn a Piem... that's a great way to memorise Pi.

http://cadaeic.net/naraven.htm

The number of letters in each word represents a digit of pi. Ten represents zero, and eleven represents two one's one after the other. The example above allows you to learn Pi up to 740 digits, and there are more verses for later, if you're interested. If you're good at learning poetry you could get up to near 4000 if you wanted. (I'm not there yet!)

[Rosie23]

I spend most of my time afraid. Afraid that stuff is going to break and I won't be able to fix it. My budget is very limited and so I do my own repairs.

I have zero confidence unless I am manic. Then I am super woman and can do anything. I replace faucets and put shingles on my roof and fix my lawn mower.
I also get crafty and crochet stuff and sew blankets. I get OCD and scour volumes of information on fitness and healthy eating or whatever else strikes my fancy.

Then the mania goes away. I hide in my house and watch the dust settle. Whatever didn't get done will have to wait until the next round. Sigh.

[Tosspot]

everybody's mania sounds great. I just start to think i'm hot stuff, lose my inhibitions, talk too fast for other people to follow, and my thoughts race too fast for me to even make connections. I black out (sober). I feel creative and artisitc but i'm so clumsy i haven't found a good outlet for my "artsyness"
I'm just plain dangerous when manic.

[brypowers]

Oh, geeze, talk about solving the worlds problems. After a few days without sleep, I tend to get the most amazing ideas and epiphanies. Now that I think about it, tends to remind me of when I was in HS and smoked pot a few times, the only difference was the manic excitement, concentration and ability to remember it later.. Some of my most profound realizations occurred through mania. Strange...

I read once that the great inventor and genius Nikola Tesla hardly slept. His inventions changed the world as we know it. To the end of his career he was labeled nuts, but his contribution to the world was amazing. I guess the difference between him and me would be the depression, self loathing, negative coping, behavioral issues, guilt over failure and probably my being raised in a wasteland of an upbringing!

Maybe I'll be able to invent a longer lasting lightbulb or something before I die.

[korafrancesca]

brypowers, that's exactly how I feel. I have a million epiphanies while manic and also a bunch of creative ideas. it's like being on drugs, maybe a bunch of different drugs with some shrooms mixed in there, though I have never done drugs I imagine that's what it would be like.

i'll look out for the next great invention from you.

[brypowers]

Haha, my dad was a highly functioning alcoholic. Every day he would drink to submission. But, he has a patent, in the last ten years of his "all over the place" career, he was able to get into a buying a building in down-town savannah with a partner, then ended up selling it for 4M. He quit drinking cold turkey, quit smoking, and changed for the better. He beat cancer. I think he's a genius despite making so many terrible decisions.

I know he self medicated and was BP but was too proud to get help.