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#1
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I seem to be having lots of problem with my memory overall and with concentration in general. I wonder if part of it could be how doped up I am on meds and part could be a component of being bipolar itself.
Anybody else notice this situation? If so, then why do you think you have them? Please don't tell me the Alzheimer's is setting in! Thanks for answering, even if your answer is "no." |
#2
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My pdoc once told me to think of my lithium treatment as practicing for Alzheimer's. Personally I think it's both. I have read on the subject alot online trying to figure it out, it seems like research suggests it is both the meds and the illness itself at play.
Each episode I have, my cognitive skills seem to deteriorate bit by bit and never fully return. I have a lot of psychotic symptoms as well. I personally think this disorder itself is plays a big role. I wish there was more answers and research into this. |
![]() hanners, Travelinglady
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#3
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I have always had concentration problems, but I also have ADHD. It means I can't use distractibility as an indicator of anything except maybe forgetting my ADHD meds.
There is a qualitative difference between my general ADHD distractedness, hypomanic distraction, and depressive concentration failures. The ADHD mostly makes me really forgetful and liable to get up a lot instead of just buckling down to work. I also jump around a lot in conversation and writing and work tasks - basically just trying to pay attention to way too many things at once, or at least, a lot more than my brain can handle. When I'm depressed, though, I can't concentrate because my head is sludgy and slow, not because I'm trying to attend to too many things at once. When I'm hypomanic, it's a lot like the ADHD inattentiveness, but cranked up a few notches, and it's not just that I'm trying to pay attention to or do too many things at once, but I'm also having brilliant flashes of insight that I must capture, etc... I have no idea why my brain works this way. I assume all the issues with concentration and attention are neurochemical, because I have worked so hard to compensate over the years that it's almost embarrassing. I have occasional "normal" days where it's a remarkably different situation, but those days are very, very infrequent.
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disorderlychickadee.wordpress.com |
![]() Travelinglady
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#4
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I don't correlate any of my memory/cognitive skills to bipolar. I put the blame on pregnancy and childbirth. Although, I never really took bipolar into consideration, maybe I should?
I will say my meds seem to add to my "fog". However, as a young woman, before kids, I was on lithium and didn't experience the kind of memory loss and cognitive cloud I have now. |
![]() Travelinglady
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#5
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I had a brilliant photographic memory all my life, then lithium came along and destroyed it... Sometimes (when i'm hypomanic) it kinda makes a comeback... Concentration? I used to have quite the concentration span. I could literally study 1 subject for 4hours (before i give in to hunger or a cigarette) these days? Uuuuhm... Not so much. I have to concentrate on concentrating, and let's not talk about when hypomania comes to town... So i guess what i'm trying to say before i rambled,is that for me it seems like a mixture of the 2 beasts, it's their freaky hybrid offspring thingymajiggy...
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![]() Travelinglady
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#6
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My memory is definitely shot and there's a general confusion and inability to take things in and remember them. It's affecting my work. I don't feel 'doped up' on my medication though, if by that you mean groggy and zombie-ish.
I stopped drinking alcohol in August - and before I drank a LOT ![]() In fairness, I feel it has got worse not since I stopped drinking in August, but since my latest 'episode' in September. My pdoc says my brain is still trying to adjust to all of this and its early days. I suppose I put it down to the illness itself (I think that accounts also for my lack of general clarity), and to medication. |
![]() Travelinglady
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#7
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I am not on meds at all right now. I think it is a big part of the illness at least on my part, and I know that my memory gets continously worse. I don't think I have Alzheimers, I think it is the bipolar.
As a teen I never forgot anything. I was very put together, actually. I had my ups and downs, sure. But I was always punctual, never lost things, could remember everyone's birthday, never forgot assignments (even though how I did on them depended on mood swings,) or other dates of important such as appointment times, etc. I was in theatre and I could memories my lines for play without much effort at all. Now, I forget things constantly. I'm always losing things. I have trouble remembering dates, things that need to be done. I get distracted and forget what I was doing. I can't get anything organized. I get lost really easy. My focus and concentration slip constantly. It comes in and out that I can't read more than a few words at a time (I understand them, I just can't focus enough.) My husband says I'm a walking mess quite often. Even in the six years we've been together I have deteriorated dramatically. I get easily confused. I get in trouble at work for forgetting things and making mistakes because of it. ![]() So yes, I think it is part of the illness and I have no meds to blame it on at all. I wouldn't be surprised if some meds contribute, though.
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![]() Travelinglady
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#8
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I'm bipolar and I have noticed more and more of a problem with paying attention. Lately I have to ask somebody to repeat what they have just said to me several times because it sounds like another language to me. Then all of a sudden I realize what they said. My daughter says she thinks I'm not really paying attention, like I'm always thinking of something else. I'm not taking prescriptions right now, except occasionally at night.
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The light at the end of the tunnel could be you. |
![]() Travelinglady
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#9
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Quote:
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![]() Travelinglady
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#10
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My brain can't focus sometimes. Being in school was like info to my brain = water off a duck's back.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() Travelinglady
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#11
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Your memory loss is new? I have memory problems with recall of names of people and physical landmarks but I have had problems with recall for decades.
Causes of memory loss include: Alcohol or illicit drug intoxication An event in which not enough oxygen was going to the brain (heart stopped, stopped breathing, complications from receiving anesthesia) Brain growths (caused by tumors or infection) Brain infections such as Lyme disease, syphilis, or HIV/AIDS Brain surgery, such as surgery to treat seizure disorders Cancer treatments, such as brain radiation, bone marrow transplant, or after chemotherapy Certain medications Certain types of seizures Dementia Depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia when symptoms have not been well controlled Dissociative disorder (not being able to remember a major, traumatic event; the memory loss may be short-term or long-term) Drugs such as barbiturates or benzodiazepines Electroconvulsive therapy (especially if it is long-term) Encephalitis of any type (infection, autoimmune disease, chemical/drug induced) Epilepsy that is not well controlled with medications Head trauma or injury Heart bypass surgery Illness that results in the loss of, or damage to, nerve cells (neurodegenerative illness), such as Parkinson's disease, Huntington's disease, or multiple sclerosis Long-term alcohol abuse Migraine headache Mild head injury or concussion Nutritional problems (vitamin deficiencies such as low vitamin B12) Permanent damage or injuries to the brain Transient global amnesia Transient ischemic attack (TIA) source = http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/e...cle/003257.htm
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The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
![]() BlueInanna, faerie_moon_x, Travelinglady
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#12
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I believe it can depend on which stage of a bipolar mood cycle you are in. I know that, during hypomania, I can concentrate for hours on end and really produce some outstanding work. Whereas during both a depressive and a manic episode I can suffer from really bad concentration, memory and focus to completing activities.
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![]() horseontheloose, kj44, Travelinglady
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#13
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Quote:
Thanks for finding that, Yoda! ![]()
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![]() kj44, Travelinglady, Yoda
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#14
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I feel very "dumbed down" I feel its a combo of not well controlled bipolar and medication fog ...
I hate hate hate it !! I sure hope it improves . I use to feel semi smart and capable of this thing called life ![]() |
![]() Travelinglady
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#15
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The thing that is strange for me is, when I'm taking college classes, I'm totally on it. I get mostly 'A's and an occasional 'B'. I am immersed in what I'm doing. But talking to somebody as I commented earlier, is a problem. When I was working I was engaged in what I need to be doing. idk
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The light at the end of the tunnel could be you. |
![]() Travelinglady
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#16
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I tend to have memory/concentration problems. The concentration problems have been horrible over the past month or so but my psych doc told me today that I'm defiently a rapid cycler and experiencing mixed states. She said those two things can lead to concentration issues.
My memory issues didn't necessarily start with my diagnosis. I sustained a severe concentration in a bad car wreck 11 years ago. Since then my memory has not been what it was. I also agree with another poster--it worsened with motherhood. I have three kids and both I and other moms I know joke about having mommy brain. I'm totally convinced it exists, though! |
![]() Travelinglady
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#17
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I have two children. I think kids steal some of their mother's brain cells during pregnancy and then stress them out later!
No, this problem is not new. I have been on a ridiculous number of drugs since being diagnosed with Bipolar II eleven years ago, and I have been so doped up sometimes that I couldn't even remember things like how to get to a restaurant I'd been to many times. I'd get lost trying to get to my psychiatrists' office. One had me hospitalized because I did so--and another one billed me for missing my appointment! I take Klonopin and have been for a long time. I now also take Tegretol and Wellbutrin, and Tramadol, and Trazodone. I even take Nuvigil to help me stay awake. I also have fibromyalgia and "fibrofog" is said to be a result. So, I have lot of reasons to be "out of it." This morning I went to my neurologist's office (other health problems). I've been there many times, and I should know the routine well. First the nurse has me stand on a "square" which weighs me and then she has me sit to get my blood pressure and temp. This morning I followed her and I thought she said, "Sit in the chair," so I did. But she actually said, "Stand on the square"! And I always have trouble finding my way out of the joint. I've had two mini-strokes, but my neurologist said they shouldn't be causing memory problems. What is scaring me is that these problems seem to be getting worse and worse to the point where I constantly wonder if I have heard something correctly. For a particularly scary example, go to the "Shrink joke" thread and read my recent episode with a "check-out" lady at my T's office regarding an appointment. Thanks for your answers. But is anybody THIS bad? BTW, I earned a Ph.D. from Duke at age 25. So historically I'm no dummy. All of this loss of brain power makes me really sad. ![]() |
#18
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Quote:
The thing that I really don't get? It's not a total constant or even sensible. These sorts of things ... BF:"Did you ever see that movie?" Me: "Mmmm, don't think so, but honestly, I have no idea." So, we'll start watching it... "Oh yeah. The blue wall. Yup, must've seen it." So, I'll realize I did see it, but don't remember anything useful! On the other hand, my favorite shows I'll watch numerous times. I can quote soooo many lines and know every nuance. (One show, even from 20 years ago w/o having seen it for years). Then I'll be watching something new and pull together a bunch of these references, neatly combined into a new joke comment. Without having to even consciously think. BF will say, "Wha???". He knows all the same things, but often won't "get it" till I lay out the references, where they came from and how they fit together as a commentary on what just happened on the screen. It's bizarre. Also... like my most recent job... often requires paying attention to many things at once. And I do. Really well. (Maybe it is the fear of otherwise getting run over, lol.) Then, on the other hand, I'll look on say, Craigslist, and not even be able to focus on an ad. And want to cry. Sheesh, if I can't even read the ad, how could I ever do the job?! And when I go to fill out my mood chart at the end of the day, I usually can barely remember what happened. And when I do come up with something...Was that today? Or yesterday? It drives me right up a wall. It's really shaken my confidence. I'm either totally confused, or totally on top of it. Just don't know which brain is going to show up. |
![]() Moose72, Travelinglady
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#19
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Payne I also have FIbromyalgia and the "Fibro Fog" ..
So many tings to make us feel zoned out and like a zombie. |
![]() Travelinglady
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#20
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I took Topamax for awhile. It impaired my recall of words when I was writing. That's a known side effect of that drug.
__________________
The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. anonymous |
![]() Travelinglady
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#21
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Quote:
Yes, yes and yes. I used to remember everything. And sometimes I am lucky to remember my name. I have thought several times that I was just getting older, but now I think it is the bi-polar. |
![]() faerie_moon_x, Travelinglady
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#22
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Quote:
It is so good to know I'm not alone in this issue! ![]()
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![]() Travelinglady
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#23
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Quote:
Bipolar disorder has caused me to age way too fast.
__________________
http://www.queermentalhealth.org/ - Resource and support site for LGBTQ people and their partners |
![]() Travelinglady
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#24
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Ok, so I am feeling a little better. I was forgetting my code to get on my computer at work. It was real embarrassing to have to ask my manager. I thought it was early alzheimer's. Sounds like maybe the medication has something to do with it. Thanks for the input.
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![]() Travelinglady
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#25
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By the time I'm done with this message, I will have forgotten the first line. I'm a recruiter and I can never remember the first part of an interview. It has gotten worse over the years. I've been on Lamictal and Welbutrin since day 1, around 10 years ago. I think the memory loss is gradual. You have to find ways to remember things like I use my iPhone to record thoughts I know I will forget later. I also keep a notebook in my purse so I can write little notes. Good Luck. I hope you can find something that helps.
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![]() faerie_moon_x, Tosspot, Travelinglady
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