In order not to hijack Payne1's memory/concentration thread, I hope it is ok to ponder something that came up there here on a new thread... Here's the preface:

Dark heart x linked an interesting article, one part of which talks about how BP rages seem to be seizure-like events. It's near the bottom of the article:
http://www.kristen-mcclure-therapist.com/bipolarandmemoryloss.html

AniManiac noted that it made sense as many BPs respond well to anti-convulsants.

Which started me thinking. I've always felt that they are seizure-like in ways, just like... a personal suspicion simply based on my personal experience. Which is this:
"I think the thing about rages sometimes being seizure-like is especially interesting. I have always sighed at "count to 10" advice. It's hard to explain to those that haven't experienced it, that it's just not like that. It's like being hit by a bolt of lightning. I don't choose it. It lasts in duration till it's over. I can't just choose to stop it. There's a certain feeling of exhaustion when it's over, and though I can remember some, it's certainly not all.

Interestingly enough, AniManiac, I take Lamictal, and they seem to have been less frequent and of shorter duration since then. Hmmm."

So this is what I'm wondering... For those that can relate to what I describe, if you've been on them, how have anti-convulsants worked for you in this regard? Or not.
(And if you can relate to what I describe and experience seizures, please pipe up as that would be a particularly interesting perspective.)

[Moose72]

I know my brain forgets, things are like water off a ducks back... Some days are better than others. Its highly annoying!! In fact it is ruining parts of my life.

I couldnt open the link IZ, said it's invalid.

I wish I could help you out, but I don't think I suffer from any rages. Unless I'm not clear on what a rage is. Or I'm a bipolar oddity. But I see rage come up so often here, I'm going to go see what I can find. Maybe I'm having rage and don't even know.

Ya well that was a very short research project. Conclusion. I do have rages. I just always think they are somewhat justified. Oh geeeez...

Ok, guess the cut and paste... not so good(!) Let's try this:
http://www.kristen-mcclure-therapist...emoryloss.html

Lucky for you, Anika, not to. If you did, you'd definitely know it. They are, without doubt, the most regretted moments of my life.

Heh. We posted simultaneously. Thinking now... those that have been towards others, sometimes, yeah, I feel justified, especially at the time. But often they are not, and I'll just go off all by myself. Let's just say it's an incredible thing that no one's ever picked up their cell phone to report me... Even from inside the house...
Out.of.control.

Yes IZ I thought about it more. I am in denial. Defiantly some regrettable times. Thanks for the link again.

[Trippin2.0]

#possible violence trigger#
when i was little (before the age of 12) i'm told i used to get rage 'fits' and attack the child who harmed me or 1 of my siblings. But i have zero memory of this, i remember feeling angry and hurt and then hiding in my room. When i was 14, I chased my 8y.o brother down the street with a butcher knife, (in hindsight, i'm SO glad he's faster) also this particular memory is VERY vague,doesn't even feel like it was me. A few yrs ago, again,my memory's a bit vague, but it was definitly less than 6yrs. This 'neighbour' grabs my ponytail and slams my face into a car bonnet. We fight,the fight gets broken up, i go home to ice my face, next thing i know i'm confronting her, and she spews ***** bout how i think i'm better than everybody else. Please keep in mind that she is a big girl, and i'm like 1.53m. I don't remember being scared tho... Next thing i know i stabbed her #ashamed face# and ran away to my then bf's place. If thats not bad enough, i threaten her friends. Told them if they wanna come after me,they're welcome,but they must walk in groups at night. WTF! Anyway,turns out the girl who started the whole thing was high on meth and somewhat drunk too. We're on speaking terms now,and she hasn't touched drugs or alcohol since... By the grace of God (and the help of my dad) no charges were filed against me. I also stabbed my then bf in the leg after he choked me unconcious. Another memory that seems surreal. PC peeps... Please don't think of me any differently. I don't know that person i just told you about. Also, when i was medicated, rage didn't come so naturally anymore... Just thinking now, was i a bp kid? Man, hope i didn't scare anybody off,just thought i'd share... I know i sound like a psycho *****amajigger, but i'm not, atleast not without being provoked.

[Tosspot]

i don't think i have "rages" but i had a pdoc mention once about temporal lobe seizures could possibly cause mini blackouts, and not reconizing familiar places. However this happens on lamictal too, i also take trileptal so i best not be seizing!! However in my lone research of the interwebs, the link between anti-convulsants and bipolar disorder seem to be linked somehow to calcium....
..and a hypersensitivity to smells. anyone else smell things that others don't seem to smell to the same extent if not at all?

I smell foul smells but it's a tactile hallucination.

"*****amajigger", lol, Trippin'. No worries, I'm not scared off. Only time I went to the principal's office was after attacking someone... well, let's just say, no reason was in action in sizing up the opponent. Then there's the guy who couldn't look me in the eye out of fear 10 years after another incident... and this was before I even consider the BP to be definitely in action...(Probably was, but w/o certainty, I won't count it.)

So, you all, any experience with anti-convulsants? Have you found any effect on these types of times? Do you relate to the bolt-of-lightning thing/run its course/exhaustion/loss of memory etc?

Catching up to Tosspot's simultaneious post... Calcium, huh? Interesting. I do have olfactory hallucinations. They don't happen a lot, but they are always the same smell. Rotten chicken. Fun eh?
Oh, and I do not walk down the scented aisles. They are overwhelming.

That also brings to mind that a former Pdoc suggested I might want to see a neurologist...(I have flashes and stuff.) Oh, and yes, I've had the not recognizing familiar faces thing. One time in particular was very embarrasing...

[Trippin2.0]

Huge SIGH of relief!

[roads]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I've always felt that they are seizure-like in ways, just like... a personal suspicion simply based on my personal experience. Which is this:
"I think the thing about rages sometimes being seizure-like is especially interesting. I have always sighed at "count to 10" advice. It's hard to explain to those that haven't experienced it, that it's just not like that. It's like being hit by a bolt of lightning. I don't choose it. It lasts in duration till it's over. I can't just choose to stop it. There's a certain feeling of exhaustion when it's over, and though I can remember some, it's certainly not all.

Interestingly enough, AniManiac, I take Lamictal, and they seem to have been less frequent and of shorter duration since then. Hmmm."

So this is what I'm wondering... For those that can relate to what I describe, if you've been on them, how have anti-convulsants worked for you in this regard? Or not.
(And if you can relate to what I describe and experience seizures, please pipe up as that would be a particularly interesting perspective.)

I was in hospital when I was first dx'd bipolar (vs clinically depressed). The Cymbalta I'd been on was continued with gabapentin added. When I left a month later, I was very aware that my irritation/anger threshold had been reset. The sort of explosions that I'd been prone to I knew were not going to be as common. They weren't. With the change to Topamax, and within the past several wks the addition of Lamictal, I am still depressed--but the entire irritation/anger issue feels gone.

Rages. Well, I wouldn't have characterized my "episodes" as rages. TBH, looking back at them now from a somewhat different perspective (& reading your post, IZ), they were indeed rages. I'm sure the objects of my attentions would agree ... The change from irrataion to anger was always split-second--your lightning strike.

I will add that if I could not corner the person I was enraged by, I could go off "in abcencia" (sp?) & simply imagine them there. I knew they weren't, but I had to get it out of my system. Afterward I would be exhausted & often slept. I seldom remembered much if any, although sometimes bits & pieces would drift back later.

That's all I can add.

Roadrunner

Well I'm just starting an anti convulsant again. I've never stayed on them long enough to know. When I think back to the last time I had a rage of sorts, it was in the summer while I was extremely manic and having psychosis. The psychosis was not the factor tho. By the time my bf calmed me down enough to actually talk to me I didn't know what was going on. I felt really weird, like I could not understand what was going on, but could. Like I had time lapsed but didn't.

I remember explaining it to him feeling like thinking about what had happened felt like trying to put a puzzle together, but evetytime you try to put another peice in, the other peices go flying.

I can recall shoving a guy a party through the drywall and some similar incidences when I was younger. I'll see how the anticonvulsant I am on now affects my outbursts. I havent had any physical outburst since I was younger.

[Tosspot]

thats ok, i got lost on my own street! (which happens to be main st. in my town and i'ts the only road with anything on it)

rotten chicken sucks!! i smell things a lot that are real just strong, however there is one smell i call "the smell" and i can't figure out what it is or where it comes from.. didn't think of hallucinations before!! oddly enough.

[Tosspot]

Turns out calcium does smells AND seizures in the same article! You're on to something!

"CALCIUM MAKES THE BRAIN STRONG

Interestingly enough, calcium is required not only for normal neurotransmission and smell; it also plays a role in blocking persistent smells. After a few minutes of being exposed to an odor, extracellular calcium enters olfactory neurons and prevents them from sending signals— turning down the volume. It would be interesting to study if the sense of smell differs in bipolar patients.

Calcium channels also play a role in other sensory neurons in the eye and in the ear. Studies in salamanders and mice show that low extracellular calcium increases calcium signaling between neurons in the eye as well as in the nose. What effect a drop in extracellular calcium would have on vision is uncertain; it cannot be completely bad considering that artists have 20 times the rate of bipolar disorder as the normal population.

Also, at least one type of calcium channel seems to have a role in synchronizing brain cells. A type of epilepsy that sometimes occurs after a stroke has been directly tied to increased extracellular calcium, probably by leakage from dying cells. Epilepsy occurs when a part of the brain strongly synchronizes its firing. Omega-3 acids, which play a protective role against depression, have recently been shown to control calcium channels and other ion channels also involved in our senses, further suggesting that diet SHOULD play a difference in bipolar disorder management"

taken from : http://www.csa.com/discoveryguides/bipolar/overview.php

[littlehippie86]

Ive definetly had rages, often infused by alcohal or the influence. I usually black out or at least only remember bits and pieces. It's like I'm out of my body. I take lamictal which really seems to help for the most part. Although I quit smoking tomorrow so we'll see how calm I can maintain!

[AniManiac]

I occasionally "lose my temper" but it's always very brief, triggered, and non-violent. I tend to rant like no tomorrow instead, which is why I'm no longer on FB - uncontrolled ranting on teh Interwebs = BAD. I figure this is relatively normal behavior, except for the ranting, which seems to do with irritability, and is therefore likely linked to the down slope on a hypomanic episode.

As for seizure-like-whatever, I never thought about it that way, except these mini panic attacks that I get do seem to have that quality. They start suddenly, from nothing (no trigger required), and it's like my brain is trapped in this nasty downward spiral and can't escape. I'm stuck in this whirlwind of anxiety and rumination that gets more and more agitated, usually until I walk away and try to distract myself (which is tough when I'm trying to work, so I just start feeling bad/worse/panicked about the fact that I'm not working...)

I'm just now trying anxiolytics to see if that will help. Well, I know diazepam stops it in its tracks, but hydroxyzine hcl is what I'm actually prescribed for it. I took one last night for the first time and it definitely had a soothing effect but also made me so sleepy that I was ready for bed at 9 (instead of 11) and then I'm groggier this morning. Which is a huge disappointment since one of the improvements since starting Lamictal has been that I'm waking up much easier in the morning.