Hello, my fellow loners! This question would mainly be towards those who CHOOSE to spend their time alone, although all loners can feel free to provide your input.

I have been diagnosed with a "schizoid style" but not the actual disorder...I do have several symptoms though. Spend most of my time alone, and when I DO hang out with people, 99.9% of the time it's with 3 family members, the only people I am truly close to. I only have 1 friend, who I don't see often.

Today I went out with these 3 family members, and nothing about them bothered me, really. But I felt out of sorts when we went out to different places. First off, I was squinting, because my house does not have adequate lighting...so I'm guessing that the bright lights forced me to squint my eyes. Second, the people, voices, and unfamiliar surroundings just made me feel like it wasn't real, it didn't feel right. It wasn't fear, by any means. I wasn't anxious...I think it may have been derealization, actually.

When I got home and spent some time doing isolated activities, I began to feel more like my normal self. However, the feeling lingered for a while afterwards.

Has anyone else experienced derealization in public places?

All the time. Especially in places like a mall or big department stores. Weird lighting, big space, people, sounds, sights. I just feeling like I'm floating outside of my body and cannot carry on a conversation or anything while this is happening. Weirdly I enjoy the feeling somewhat.

[faerie_moon_x]

Hi

I also have a "mild schizoid" dx. there is a name for it I can't remember. In a way it makes complete sense and in other ways it makes no sense. For example, I like working alone rather than with a team. I don't like being around people I don't know and get very uncomfortable (although I practice talking to strangers due to my job.) I don't make new friends easily, much easier online.

But at the same time, I like being around the people I know and talking to them and spending time with them. I like being alone, but not for too long. I do hit a wall where I need to interact with the people I'm close too. I'm fine doing things alone, but sometimes even if I'm working on a project I'd rather have someone I'm close to there even if they are doing something else.

So I don't know...

As for public places, I hate going to the store or the bank etc. I used to never talk into a drive through box. I don't like talking on the phone. I would never work out in a gym.... I just feel out of place and I don't like being there. I'd rather be at home.

[~Christina]

I have self isolated my self so much that literally I only go out to see my pdoc or T ,, and a weekly trip to the grocery store with my husband , due to all the meds and hallcination I no longer drive at this point .
When im out I feel strange ,, Its like I worry if im going tohave a melt down ,,but more often I really just detach from the situation and zone out .. Last week my friend Mary came and picked me up and we went around town and out for dinner ,, altho it felt good to get out I was defenatly on edge and kept thinking " soon youll be home , soon youll be home "

My friend even noticed I kinda " checked out" she said I got an odd look on my face like I wasnt really there anymore .. I hate that I couldnt just enjoy being out ..

And now this new medication I worry ( always) the first week or so about what side effcets will I have.

derealization ...sometimes I enjoy it ... I just hope we can all find some peace .

[Tosspot]

I go where people are, but i need a darn good reason. Usually it's the grocery store. Also there are people where i work. So i see people there. I don't mind total strangers, its acquaintances i'm more uncomfortable around. I have two friends, a boyfriend and a sponsor but those friends live hours away. But yes, i suffer from derealization/depersonalization a lot. Sometimes its just in a strange bathroom but i start to disconnect from myself and when i feel that happening i start to pass out. I didn't used to pass out but in therapy i've been working on grounding when i start to check out so now my brain tries to make me pass out if i wont dissociate.

[Beebizzy]

I love being by myself. I seek it out as much as possible, and when I am out I am just waiting to get back home.

I'm OK on my familiar routes and places (work, shops, pdoc and T). But when I have to be somewhere new I totally feel like an observer rather than a participant, and like the whole thing is completely unreal.

I always put this down to me being 'out of practice' and feeling like an insect crawling out from under a rock. Idk.