Depressed

So, we only get a certain amount of days we can miss school with unexcused absences per semester, and I only have one day left.

I just used one a week ago, because right now's been a tough time for me and I've been needing the time to myself. Today I'm using my last day for the semester, even though there's still about four or five weeks left of the semester. I think I can make it through them, but my mom is saying I shouldn't use my day today because I might need it later.

I keep trying to tell her that I feel sick today and on top of that, I'm feeling depressed with some not so happy thoughts, that I really need the time to recuperate, but she keeps telling me staying home today would be a mistake.

It's starting to make me feel like she doesn't even care and is just worried about there being truancy problems in the future (Which there wouldn't be, I'm smarter than that). I don't like that she's not agreeing with me, she knows what I've been going through recently, I feel she should be understanding. My dad is acting the same way and it's really hurting my feelings which I don't need right now. I'm already depressed enough as it is.

I don't know what to do because I've already made up my mind. I'm staying home today. I know I might regret it later, but I have to do what I think is best for me. I WILL NOT be able to make it through work tonight and all day tomorrow if I go to school. There will have been absolutely no time for me to recharge and try to feel better. It would basically be school, home for ten minutes, straight to work for another five hours, then home for a few hours before I sleep, then straight to work the next morning. Hardly enough time for me to get the kind of relaxation that I need to feel better.

So I can't see why they can't just understand where I'm coming from.

Sorry for the long rant. D:

Hyro, schools now have a disability dept. where you go and disclose your illness and they have to make special accommations for you, like extra time off, or more time to do assignments.

You really should check this out because it will help you get through school.

I don't believe they have that for high schools... That sounds like it would be just a college thing.

They won't make exceptions for me because I have a mental illness. I might be able to get something like that with an IEP, but they won't let me get one of those. I'm stuck with a 504 which doesn't allow for that sort of thing.

Thank you, though.

Any educational establishment should have a support department for issues like this. If we're wrong, then I advise speaking to your mental health care team (or your doctor) and getting a note or further guidance on what to do in your situation.

I had support with my bipolar throughout secondary school (12-16) and college (16-17) and I am pretty sure that your high school will have something similar. I'm fairly sure, also, that it would be against one or two disability & equality acts NOT to appreciate your situation.

Like I said, doctor. But also try asking at the high school main office/reception about a disability office/department.

My college was always very understanding and made sure I knew that if I needed one or two days off whenever to cope with my bipolar, I should do so without feeling guilty or worried about losing track of work.

SunAngel is right, there should be some kind of learner/student support department at your educational establishment. Go there and discuss your bipolar disorder and how it affects you. The thing is...it is actually VERY important that we get some rest when we need it or it could trigger a full blow depressive (or even manic) episode. If you discuss this with the RIGHT person (namely somebody within the disability/learner/student support department), I believe you could sort something out.

It's important not to take too much on, and some teachers/lecturers unfortunately do not understand this. There will however be a department somewhere in the place to actually speak to and discuss everything with somebody that does understand. Get your rest.

Keep us posted
RB ♥

Trust me, my school does not have that. We would have worked with them years ago if they did. My dad worked with the school, too, so we would know if there was something like that or not. I will talk to my doctor, though, and see what he says. I'm interested in finding out if there's something more we can do or not.

Thanks for all the help!

All schools in the US have special education departments. They must address your problems if they know about them. This includes need for more absences. One question, why would work be more important than school. I know if my daughter missed school she would also have to miss work. Just my take on it.

Hydro- if your parents have to go to your district superintendent, then they should do that. If you're in the US, public schools are required by federal law to provide reasonable accomodations for a disability, of which bipolar disorder is considered one.

Please show your parents this link:

http://www.wrightslaw.com/blog/?p=57

Even under a 504 Plan, you are entitled to accommodations for sick days due to your illness. They may need to go to the state school board for it, but my hope is that they will step up and defend your rights.

Something I just noticed after rereading your post: you said you only get a certain number of UNEXCUSED absences. Do you have a doctor treating you for your bipolar? If you got a doctor's note explaining that you haven't been well recently with the specific dates on it, they couldn't count it as an unexcused absence.

But still push for that 504 accommodation.

Hydro, rather than missing school during this hard time, could you take fewer hours at work, or even quit? It seems that at your age, school would be a lot more important than work. Does your boss know that you have schizoaffective disorder? Even if you are able to find a way to miss more school without "consequences", you'd still have to make up all your missed work, which can be very, very stressful.

I can try, but honestly, if this could be a possibility, it would have happened already, I'm sure of it. Unless my parents didn't want me to be excused for missing school. But I guess I'll bring it up with them.

And work IS important when you're going off to college next year. You need money to go to school. My boss knows I have a mental disorder but he doesn't know what.

I'll also talk to my doctor and see if he'd be able to write notes or not.

I know from experience that many schools are not equipped to help students who have "invisible" disabilities. They can barely handle bullying... For example, if you're in a wheel chair everyone knows it. If you have bipolar, good luck. And this is even true in job situations.

But, the truth is that bipolar is a recognized disability. And you have your parents on your side, which is great. And no matter how hard they may try, sometimes they need to try harder and go above the school, such as to the district or even the county.

Also, because your absences are unexcused that's difficult, probably not much you can do about those. But, you should try to get an excused absence when you're not well enough for school. If your 504 allows for sick days, you should use them. I know it is hard but with your parents helping you fight, you know you're not alone.

Actually, I re-read your original post. and it seems your mom and dad don't see that you need to stay home sometimes for a "mental health day." Truancy issues are far greater with unexcused absences. And I know how hard it is, because I can take "mental health" days at my job, but at the same time they are just normal days out of my paid time off, so if I take them and I get sick or my son gets sick, that's a day I don't have.

And I also know when you're not well and you force yourself to go, you're not really there anyway. (Mentally speaking.) So do talk to your doctor about the situation and maybe he/she can talk to your parents about it. Sadly, sometimes parents listen to doctors advice more than their kid...