Sorry everyone i am fine

widgets · Dec 11, 2011, 01:26 PM

I logged on today, to see 3 notifications and was genuinely shocked, then i looked at my recent posts and see i must of posted a drunken post last night.
I am so sorry for worrying you all and i really am ok, i dont want to read what i posted last night.

I've been hypomanic for 3 weeks now. Its been great. hoping last night was a serious glitch.

I have my first proper day at my new job tomorrow. I've been doing training for 2 weeks.

After 22 months of not self harming, i'm feeling totally terrible, its like an addiction and i feel like even though i'm not depressed, its going to be hard to give it up again.

WHY AM I SO STUPID!

widgets · Dec 11, 2011, 01:31 PM

Oh an the reason i got upset last night. I had friends over because i had been away in London on training for 2 weeks i hadnt seen them. There was Liam, Jodie, Tasha, Kerri, Me, Robert, Adam, James and my mum and my stepdad.
Liam, Jodie and Tasha argued with each other.
Jodie and Kerri argued.
Me and Robert argued.
My mum went to bed early.
Adam and James argued.

I just wanted everyone to stop and everything to stop, so i grabbed some drink, drank a lot of it and cut myself.

Miss Laura · Dec 11, 2011, 01:40 PM

Awww Widgets,

I am glad you are ok and came back on here and told us you were fine. I think you need to make an app at your GP's or speak to your Support Workers as you self harmed and drank a lot of alcohol since you wanted to end your life. You did the right thing coming here but we need you to be safe.

Any chance you can see about an app for tomorrow?

faerie_moon_x · Dec 11, 2011, 01:42 PM

You're not stupid! Okay you had a bad night. That's all. Really glad you're okay.

Take care of yourself today.

widgets · Dec 11, 2011, 01:58 PM

I'm not going to see my support worker until at least Monday the 19th, and thats not definite.
I really cant take any time off work in my first week.
As long as i stay away from alcohol i think i will be ok.

Miss Laura · Dec 11, 2011, 02:00 PM

Hey Widgets,

Maybe make an app at your GP anyways remember they are open until at least 6pm I think. Stay away from alcohol ok!

widgets · Dec 11, 2011, 02:16 PM

I will be! I have the worst hangover in the world today.
Just want to crawl into a dark hole.

Miss Laura · Dec 11, 2011, 02:23 PM

Lol!! Guess that's something you have a hangover

roads · Dec 11, 2011, 05:10 PM

Try to just put it all behind you. You did it--it's done.

Get some decent sleep

Then focus on the job. Two weeks training! Wow! That's a lot these days. I hope you turn out having a good day.

Roadrunner

PurpleFlyingMonkeys · Dec 11, 2011, 06:13 PM

A new job! That's wonderful! I looked and looked for months and couldn't find one. I have one now but many people have to wait months to finally find one, good for you! One step ahead! I know how scary it can be to start though, after training the pressure on you to not fail, to excell and be the perfect employee. Just keep your head up, keep putting one foot in front of the other and please please please if you drink again, don't drink alone, have someone with you at all times. It is obvious that many people love you, here on pc and in your own world. We don't want to lose you, please be sure to protect yourself.

kaliope · Dec 11, 2011, 06:23 PM

Glad to see you made it out ok. Thanks for checking in.

widgets · Dec 12, 2011, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

Try to just put it all behind you. You did it--it's done.

Get some decent sleep

Then focus on the job. Two weeks training! Wow! That's a lot these days. I hope you turn out having a good day.

Roadrunner

Thanks.. Yes i had to stay in a hotel and it went really well. Felt like the old me for a bit. Actually confident and felt like i knew what i was doing.

Had my first proper day today and it was really good and i got everything right and they were really impressed with me.

Thanks everyone for the support.