[AniManiac]

Well, it was nice to feel good for a couple of days. I'm still pretty functional. For now. But it's that sinking "worse by the minute" feeling all over again. I felt OK this morning, then irritable, and now I'm trying not to cry. My work productivity is strongly related to mood and is already slowing down sharply, which just makes me more anxious and upset.

I don't usually have such fast, sharp mood swings. Especially without (more dramatic) sleep disturbance. It's a little alarming. I'm pretty sure it's mostly related to getting my meds balanced out right; it's been a lot of changes in the last couple months, and every change is like a boot to the head. In 20 years, I've never had med changes affect me this much!

But I don't go back to the pdoc for med adjustment until the 20th. At this point, I don't know if that's good or bad. I just don't know what to expect at all. Some small masochistic part of me loves this rollercoaster, but the rest is getting worried about derailing.

In the meantime, I planned a dinner party for tomorrow night while I was feeling hypomanic earlier this week. So. Way to paint myself into the corner, yet again. I swear, I do this every time, and yet I never see it coming.

[Moose72]

You'll have a good time tomorrow.

[faerie_moon_x]

It will be okay, AniManic. I hate sharp mood swings, too. I have them all the time, it is really hectic in my head.

I say that when I'm reallying cycling I will dial it back, but still try to function. So for your dinner party I say to pick a menu that is really easy, a dish you make all the time that you could do in your sleep, so to speak. That will take a lot of stress off, I think. Don't worry so much about decorating or being fancy. Just be casual with it.

I hope your dinner party goes well and you start feeling better! I understand how frustrating it is to lose focus and not work the way you think you should.

[AniManiac]

Doing OK so far - another "up" morning and downhill afternoon, but I have all the food under control and the house is fairly clean/orderly, so everything should go fine. I'm just so tired and want to put on PJs and zone out in front of the TV instead of having guests.

The menu is fresh bread and cheese and jam and hummus to start, with curried squash soup, roasted vegetables, wild rice salad, black bean and chard gratin, lamb sausage and collard gratin, tatties-n-neeps (mashed potatoes and turnips), and a blackberry-apple pie for dessert. I like to cook.

[faerie_moon_x]

Wow! I bet you're a really good cook. O.O I'm proud of myself when I can make potatoes, vegetable, and pork chops and get them all done at the same time.

Sounds like you'll have a really nice party to me.

[AniManiac]

I am a pretty good cook - used to cook in restaurants for awhile, and my mom was a spectacular cook.

We had a nice gathering; low key and tons of yummy things to eat. The bonus is that there are lots of leftovers too! But I kept the group smaller this time than last time and that was a lot easier to manage.

Still, I think I'm going to declare no more dinner guests until the new year! With all these med changes, I just can't be sure whether I'm coming or going at any given time.

[roads]

Well, kudos on surviving without any apparent damage! Now you can put on PJs & veg, if that still appeals. I hope, with the dinner party obligation successfully concluded, you'll get a tad more energy.

I know you feel under time pressure, but trying to hurry these episodes I have found to only exhaust me more. Maybe you can focus as best you can on one problem area or on the next thing you will be working one. When you are past this, you may find you're further ahead than you thought.

Instead of "sleeping on it," I call this "laying on it." I just pin it now then forget it.

Roadrunner

[faerie_moon_x]

That's great! I had a feeling it would work out.

It is a good idea to just have a relaxing end of year now. Let someone else hold the dinner party! This is usually such a hectic time. Better to be low key and take it easy. I'm so glad it went well.

[AniManiac]

Thanks for the support, all - it's amazing how tough "normal" activities can get sometimes.

I'm trying to focus on only one thing at a time, and have successfully reduced my overall load so that I'm not juggling so many things. It's still pretty hard to keep up, it seems, but I just keep hacking away at it.

Another T appt today - hopefully I won't end up crying all afternoon (for no apparent reason) again after this one (like I did the last few weeks). I don't even know what to start working on in therapy, but at least I'm going.

[BNLsMOM]

Your menu made me hungry. I have planned dinners when hypomanic and when the day comes, I have no desire to put it together. This year I am having trouble with going to parties. I have missed two of them already because I get sick the day of the party. Legit, swollen glands, sore throat, headache and cold symptoms, body aches etc. My husband suggested that it could be psychosomatic since it came on the days of two parties a week apart. We have another one next week (not at our place, thank goodness) so it will be interesting to see what happens with my health.

I've been having fear surrounding going out and being with people.

I have also felt the dramatic shifts you are feeling. My pdoc says I rapid cycle. I also go into mixed states sometimes, which are the worst.

I am glad your dinner party was successful, and I am sorry for rambling.