[faerie_moon_x]

So yesterday I had a really bad day. The whole day is a blur of crying and struggling to get from morning to evening. Then in the evening I was better.

Here is the thing. So I had two completely crazy episodes yesterday. It was while driving. I was screaming, like literally screaming and crying. I didn't SI (Hurray!) But I was not in a good place. That was on the way to work. I struggled the whole day in this cloud of mental torment. Then it happened again on the way to my OB. Well, I got there and I was a mess and it turned out I had the wrong day for my appointment so I had to reschedule.

When I got to the car I was better. Then I went home and the horrible nightmare I thought was waiting for me was not. Things were better than normal.

It got me thinking about how earlier there was a post about how maybe episodes like this are some sort of seizure. It's like once I got it out I was better? Or I evened out? Or something... Does anyone else notice this? I've been thinking about it and I've noticed it before, too. It is like a volcano. Like the pressure built up and then explodes and then it is this eerie calm...

[Trippin2.0]

Errupting volcano? WELL SAID! That's exactly how it is for me. An explosion of emotions and then this eerie calm... I've definitly noticed that happening to me. Sorry you've been having a rough time XOXO

[ladyjrnlist]

Well, anti-seizure meds are used to treat bipolar sometimes. That the illness is some type of seizure disorder is not out of the realm of possibility since we really know so little about it. Glad you are doing better.

[venusss]

I have different experiences with episodes.... they kinda take time to "wear off", especially the downs.

[faerie_moon_x]

Originally Posted by VenusHalley

I have different experiences with episodes.... they kinda take time to "wear off", especially the downs.

See I'll go through long periods of a cycle of depression or mixed state or maybe hypomania. But it builds up below the surface. Especially if I'm cycling between depression and mixed. The explosions actually do seem to even me out a bit. I don't think they are healthy, though.

[Irreplaceable]

I do the same....Have a melt down....Then I'm better...I agree...It's not healthy...It's like the hysteria behind it soothes in some sort of way...I've compared it to being drunk or being sick...When you throw up, you feel better because you are getting rid of whatever is inside of you...Weird...And annoying...