[krisakira]

soo... i guess I'm no longer in a mixed episode... but have real bad depression i can't seem to do anything and i need to clean this house up, i have let it get really messy, and boyfriend goes to work and i sit around doing nothing, and feel worthless. i want to clean, and make the house look nice, but just before i do it, i feel like i hit a brick wall and cannot climb over it. typical depression. don't know how to get myself out of it. i hate this. i just want to get up and DO this but i shut off before doing it. hate hate hate this part of depression

[Towanda]

Hi Kris, a whole year without SI? Wow, that is absolutely awesome!! Congratulations on reaching a wonderful goal. Be very proud of yourself for that. Hugs to you for your hard work and for succeeding.
As far as the depression goes, I know what you mean. Ive been in a deep depression for a couple of weeks. The holidays were very hard this year. But I managed to get all the shopping, cooking, wrapping, decorating, etc. done all by myself as my kids are grown and out on their own, and my husband was travelling for business. Maybe this would work for you for your house.
Make a list of exactly what it is you want to get done, and every day promise yourself you will make the supreme effort to do just that one thing,and then do it. That's all you have to do, just that one thing. The rest of the day you can do what you want. Eventually, the week will be over, and all the chores will be done. I know it sounds simplistic, but it worked for me. And it really helped my depression a lot that on Christmas day when my kids came over that I was ready for them.
Try not to be too hard on yourself - do what you can. Take care.

[krisakira]

i made a list last night, of 32 things I need to do in order to clean the whole house. (I do well with lists). I made each one a very small task to do, such as breaking down "clean my desk" into 3 or 4 small tasks that make up the big one. Well, I have done 8 of the small tasks today, and can't believe I did it. As a reward for cleaning the living room, my boyfriend and I are gonna go out to eat. It'll be good for me to get out of the house. Still feeling very much unmotivated, although some Lord of the Rings music helped a bit..

[Towanda]

Glad to hear my suggestion worked! Hope you enjoyed you enjoyed your dinner out.

[krisakira]

I did ty... i didnt do anything today though

[roads]

Could you try, for every one thing you do on you list in a week, give yourself a pass on posting that you didn't do anything that day? Maybe doing could ease (not increase) the pressure to do?

If that feels yucky, Ignore This Post!

[CaliSun81]

I completely understand the depression thing. In my bipolar phases I usually go kthree days of elevated mood or sometimes mixed mood, to a very depressed mood and struggle to get off my butt and help with dinner at least. At least I can managed watching my daughter. Still, I can't seem to be motivated to exercise which usually makes me feel better. I get very upset at myself for not being able to do chores or even sit and write a story, since I used to work as a writer. I have many creative desires, but can't seem to do anything. On good days I feel I hve clearer thinking and more motivation, but I think the is a fear stopping me from perusing my writing career. My father used to be very critical and put me down and I guess I fear that happening again. I have though of writing a book about my mental health expiences. What do you guys think?

[tutitaylor]

I think that writing a book about your mental health experiences would be very good for you. You would be getting it all out so to speak and also you may be helping others by sharing your experiences.Even if you wirte one sentence you have accomplished something big! Tuti

[BlackPup]

Take things one day at a time. Sometimes getting ou of bed is an achievement other times you will be able to tick lots of things off your list. Don't be discouraged by the slow days, they happen- go easy on yourself and focus on the little things that you have achieved eg getting up, getting dressed, having a shower etc
I aim to get outside the house each day even if it's only to the mail box or out for a walk around the block.