[Tosspot]

Hey everyone- i'm forcing myself to post because i've been in a really weird headspace. Its not my usual severe depression, not manic either. Just kind of numb/flat and avoidant. I'm just disinterested but stressed... been dissociating more than usual. I don't feel real. I haven't been on PC in a couple weeks so I figure I should reach out for support.

Thanks

[dragonfly2]

Sorry you're not feeling well right now. I know what you mean about the dissociation. I had an extended bout of it this past fall and couldn't even eat, it felt so strange. Been happening for years and years, but it's not something you can ever really get used to, is it?

Do you have any grounding techniques that help bring you back? When I have my long episodes (weeks at a time), and I'm able to eat something, I find that protein helps me come back somewhat. I also use cold packs on my neck and wrists. When I've had to go out into public in that state, I've found that my PRN lorazepam hleps me get through it.

What tools do you have available?

[Tosspot]

Wish I had some ativan like you! I like the cold idea... i haven't been able to eat yet, looking at food makes me sick maybe i'll try trail mix or something. Right now I have to go to work. I tried to call out but I can't really say "i can't work today because I'm not sure if i'm real or not" 5 other people called out - so i'm on my way, they said i can leave at 9 if its ok with the other nurse. Just wish I didn't have peoples lives in my hands at the moment, it adds unnecessary stress and i'm afraid i'll mess up or something. So i guess I don't really have any good tools. maybe we can talk about some of that stuff - i'd love your experience.

[dragonfly2]

Sure - any time. As for the protein, I'm not sure if you eat meat, but I found that red meat was particularly helpful. And I know what you mean about having people's lives in your hands. I was a Medical Technologist and had to do many WBC differentials and crossmatches in that state. Somehow you power through it, especially when the traumas and codes were coming in. Try to be gentle with yourself tonight. Feel free to PM me if you'd prefer.