[xp1155]

Sorry, I need to vent to those who understand the Bipolar mind...

I found out that I was having weird side effects from all the mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics I tried (over the past year) because I was also on BuSpar! Now, I am scared I need to try everything again because it wasn't the other meds that were messing up, but rather the combination of the med with my BuSpar. *sigh* I don't want to go through it all again. The Trileptal is still giving me depressive effects,but the Cymbalta is helping somewhat. I think I need to up the dose, but I just called my p-doc and she is on vacation until the end of next month.

I just started my second semester of the PhD program. I am trying to take an extra class and got an e-mail today that I am going to be "reviewed" for my progress in the PhD program. This scares me because I am only a few months in and my one teaching evaluation didn't go so good (although 91% of my students rated me as 'excellent'). I need to be doing research, but would rather take an extra class and finish my classes early. Then again, I don't know if I can handle four classes. Three stressed me out so much last time. I don't want a review...

My parents brought me home and stayed with me a few extra days because they know I don't feel safe in my apartment. They brought my bed into the living room because the fact there is a wall between my bedroom and living room gives me great anxiety. I know that sounds weird, but walls give me anxiety when I am by myself. Then my Mom said, "well, when it's your time to die, you die and God takes you however even if someone breaks into your apartment." Ummm... you don't say that to your daughter (even though I am an adult). That freaked me out.

Thank goodness my boyfriend is moving here in April (at the latest).

Thanks for listening.

[AniManiac]

My opinion would be - don't take the extra class! You already know how stressful 3 was, so don't set yourself up for misery. Don't worry about finishing early; focusing on finishing without burning out from the stress. I never took more than 3 classes at a time because there's no way I could have handled it (and everyone says I'm top of my cohort... ha!)

Is having a review the usual at your school? It's standard to have an annual review for each PhD student in my program every year until candidacy, at which point it's up to the student to arrange it if they want a review - which I did this year to make sure I'm on track for a spring defense. For me, it's actually been a really great thing and one of the things I really value about the program; the fact that the faculty pay that much attention to us is fantastic. Scary at first, but a great opportunity for valuable feedback and planning. For us, the first year review is just a check-up to make sure you're adjusting OK; they start actually expecting something out of us in the second year. And no one expects perfect teaching reviews out of the gate - if that were the case, there would be plenty of jobs to go around because half of the PhDs out there can't really teach to save their lives.

Hang in there - it probably isn't as bad as you're imagining. But make sure not to overload yourself. If you suspect the review is a "bad" thing, then that also suggests that taking on a 4th class is not a great idea, right?

[xp1155]

You are right. I need to stick with three classes. I am already burning out...

Reviews are normal. I don't know why I am freaking out. I have a 4.00 and was told I am a great writer. My theory professor admitted I understand most of the theories better than her. My cohort calls me, "crazy smart" but also recognizes that I am chaotic and scattered. They think it's funny, but I think they're just as smart (and more organized). However, chaotic is my way, I've come to accept that now. My students generally like me and I love teaching.

I think I might do an independent study this semester with two classes to get started on some research and take a break from taking three classes. My boyfriend told me that if I got a 4.00 then I should probably relax and not care if I get an A- or a B+. However, I do care to an extent; yet, I also know no one is going to ask me my GPA. I need to get the classes done, pass the section exams, and write my dissertation (which is simply the first draft of my first book- it doesn't have to be perfect, but it only has to be done).

Best of luck on your defense.

My one class tonight is a total bust. It was blatant opinion backed up by half-truths. She assigned an opinion piece as the first reading. I would rather read journal articles with contrasting views and discuss the ideas rather than be spoon fed propaganda. It made me angry- Bipolar angry where I was working myself up into a frenzy and couldn't stop thinking about how I can't stand academia sometimes. Thank goodness it's an elective and I can switch to something else. I also talked to my boyfriend and he calmed me down a bit.

I also found out they threw a heavy "convenience fee" on my on-line course that I was sooo excited about. I need to call and see if the $10,000 fee for ONE on-line course is a typo or the real thing. I can't afford $10,000. A $100 fee is fine; but $10,000 is insanity.

[Anneinside]

$10,000 sure sounds like a typo. If it was true then no one would take online classes.