I need more friends, but...

I do not have many friends, only a couple and I get lonely a lot. I have a difficult time making friends because of my self esteem and anxiety and I would like to have more friends. I get depressed because I am alone a lot. Does anyone have suggestions on ways I can meet others to create friendships that may be less scary for me?

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk

Do you have any hobbies?? Something that you really enjoy doing and feel comfortable with? See if there are any local clubs or organizations meeting in your area. Take a class - cooking, art, computers, postmodern basketweaving , anything that might interest you. Many community colleges, craft stores, culinary stores, etc offer short courses for people who want to try something new. Check out the calendar section of your local paper for groups meeting at local museums, local hiking groups, community events, etc. Volunteer at an animal shelter.

Most importantly, find something that you feel comfortable and confident doing, so you're sort of "in your element" and the anxiety should lessen.

Finding online friends in chat rooms,Paltalk has literally thousands of them,isn't at all scary because you can conceal your identity and log out whenever you wish without any guilt about cutting and running.Granted these friendships will be shallow and temporary most likely but definitely a non-scary start that will help to reduce your social anxiety.

I think dragonfly2 hit the nail on the head. Activities you enjoy already is a great way to not only meet people, but meet people with a least one thing in common with you!

Just don't rush yourself or put pressure on yourself to have X number of friends in X amount of time. Take your time and be yourself.

Making friends can be hard. I'm in a position right now where I don't want any more than the ones I have b/c they were the ones who stayed with me during mental illness. I have to get out there too.......right now I'm house bound because I have five kids...but they'll all be in school next year!!! So I'll have to take up a hobby. I'm thinking of showing dogs, or something. It would take up a lot of my time, and make me happy I think.

I know how you feel. I have one close friend I can talk to and thats my husband. I feel awkward talking to new people. I'm friendly with the people I work with but I don't let them get too close. I've found that alot of people are my friend until I have a bipolar moment and they don't know how to deal with it. I'm tired of being judged for something I can't help. I stay away from people when I'm having a bad time and thats the time I could really use a friend. I don't feel like I connect to other people on the same wavelength. Maybe thats the illness.

Your not alone. Right now my only real friend is my husband. I have a history of making friends and then cutting them out as soon as we start to get close. Despite longing for the companionship of a good friend, I think that I am scared to let anyone get to close. I made plans to start walking several times a week with an acquaintance. Maybe this will be the start of a new friendship

MY T and I talk about this often ...

Im the type that cant just become friends easily ..i have HUGE trust issues in real life .. On here its fairly easy to become close to people because its the internet ..

MY T did say for alot of bipolar people maintaining relationships is hard plus i have fibromyagia so if i have a lunch date with my friend mary I cant always keep it and depending on how bad my pain is that day ,,it really sucks .. Id love more friends in real life but im so grateful for the people i have met on here they never judge me and often see my problems more clearly than i can see them .

due to finacial reason I dont get out much plus im not driving right now as i dont feel safe ,,one day last year while driving i blacked out and took out half a mans corn field luckily i did not hurt anyone ) so i stopped driving and i still dont feel safe " so i cant go many places i would love to volunteer at the local animal shelter but its a 20 mile trip into town ... hopefully finances will change soon and i can do that or something to help occupy my racing mind .

But i agree finding a hobby would defiantly help

Good luck ~

I live in a rural area and I tried out the going for things I was interested in bit. I couldn't get out the door even when I made appointments to be at meetings or gatherings. I would simply panic.

Then I discovered that I could do the same thing over the internet. No, it doesn't fulfill the need for person to person contact, but it does fulfill the need to have common interests with common people. And I don't panic like I did with Face to Face meetings. Also it is manageable until I can get out and do these thing in person.

I can share pics of what I am interested in because of camera's that upload onto the internet. And if I want to I can join groups that have visual communication through the camera's on the computer itself. I don't have to but I can.

It's a half way measure. But it is better than nothing for me right now.

Good luck. I hope you can find something you can do and get out make friends.

I can't fully express how much i understand. If i had a better answer, i'd add it here.

What to do you when you have no friends, live in the middle of nowhere, and have been depressed off your *** for so long you don't have hobbies or interests of any kind anymore? I don't even really have a religious affiliation.

So, what do i do? I have a cat. And i joined this forum. Nifty, eh?

Don't discount the powers of cats and forums. I met one of my best irl friends on this forum. We live on opposite ends of the globe, but we are very much a part of each other's lives.

I have 2 cats and my cats are my babies. I love them. They keep me company but its not like if I were to have friends. I still want more friends! I am going to volunteer at the animal welfare league so maybe I will meet a friend there? Maybe not. I am thinking of trying overeaters anonymous too bc I have that issue unfortunately. I am trying to think of ideas. Thanks for all your help with ideas.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk

Friendships are a tough one for me too. I have one really good friend who has stuck with me through thick and thin, and my husband...other than that...I am feeling pretty lonely too. Most people can't understand me and I have a hard time getting close because I am afraid people will learn about my illness and judge me. I can't help but think that I hate myself...so who's going to want to be my friend anyway...makes it tough for sure. Maintaining friendships is difficult because I run hot and cold. I isolate myself when I feel unwell and new friends who don't know about my illness just don't understand why I don't call them back or keep dates and it quickly shuts the door on any chance of an actual closeness...I've lost a lot of friends being bipolar and have learned to just accept that I will never be a social butterfly...it's lonely...That's why I agree with RapidFlyer...there is always the internet!