[Daonnachd]

How often does your assessment of your state, condition, mood differ from that of significant individuals, but not professionals, in your life? My wife just told me that she sees me as bad as before I went into the hospital (that hurt), when I saw myself as doing fairly well.

When there is a difference, who do you trust? How do you cope with the emotions that are dredged up in that situation?

i think you run "periodical tests" yourself. think about where you are and how you're doing. what you've been doing. how you're dealing with stress and tension. how's work going. sometimes, our SOs see things completely differently than we, as the patients, see them. i suggest couples therapy. xoxoxo pat

[Azalysa]

My Mother is my main support and she can tell almost instantly how I'm doing, even on the phone by the sound of my voice. In person she says she can tell by the look in my eyes if I'm better and the "lilt in my voice." Sometimes I miss those altogether.

Sometimes she will tell me I sound a lot better when I don't feel like I am, but most of the time she is accurate.

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple"> I rely and trust my husband more and his veiw differs often compared to my own. He has learned to be very keyed in to my signals usually before I am even aware, as well as my best freind. My hsuband is with me everyday, docs and T's are not. </font>

[Rhapsody]

I think the opinions of our friends & loved ones will always matter to us personally.... it is as though we measure our own self worth by what they think and feel about us.... a human nature kind of thing - I think they call it ACCEPTANCE.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Daonnachd]

My psychiatrist cut two of my meds in half in an attempt to avoid toxicity, and some of the symptoms my wife was complaining about have diminished. She commented on the fact that I seem more present in my life this week. We agree!

[DaveyJones]

Significant other?

[LMo]

Hi Davey - will look for an update about you when I'm done typing this.

I *am* the significant other (my husband is not bipolar though; rather, has depression, anxiety, and a d(x) of ADD). I do think I know it's coming on before he is aware of it. His eyes, as Azalyssa's mother says, is a dead giveaway - he gets a really "flat" look in his eyes. I can always tell if he has missed a day of his meds, even when he denies it.

His pdoc has encouraged him to ask me for feedback when he tries new meds, because he said that it's common for family members to notice a change before the individual does.

Significant others might not notice a change in your FEELINGS, but there are other signs that are visible to other people that we aren't always aware of. For example, I found this true when I was on a brief stint of my own with Lexapro. I couldn't tell right away if it was doing anything, but my husband noticed that I was talking more slowly and interrupting less. I wouldn't have noticed something like that in myself.

[Daonnachd]

Thank you, LMo, for that perspective from the other side. That's valuable to me as I sort through my feelings on this.

[praxis]

Yes, the people who see you every day are in a position to notice changes in behavior, but they can't get in your head and experience your thoughts and feelings. 3 of my family members have been telling me I'm irritable and noone seems to think therapy and meds have helped me in the least. I had to admit they were right and had pdoc adjust my meds yesterday. I can't help thinking they are a bit biased, though. I seldom express my negative feelings and tend to go along unless I feel strongly about something.

In some ways my growth and healing can be pretty iconvenient for those around us. I think we should listen, but take it with a grain of salt.

[Junerain]

My Mom told me the other day how far I had come in my treatment...I screamed, Mom I feel worse than those days I got kicked out of college..I feel worse!! She never listens when I try to say what my true feelings are. I have the capability of coming across fine when actually I am quite hurting inside. Yet, I have been able to see what my Mom was talking about, perhaps if I can hold it in and realize the situation isn't quite as bleak as it once was, perhaps the more I keep acting it's all o.k. perhaps I will slowly start to feel it, too.

[crazymusiclvr]

It is just amazing how those of us with Bipolar can often be blind as to what state we are in. I believe I have been suffering from this illness since I was a child but it took a visit to a counselor at the age of 22 to make me start to see what I should have been seeing all along. I wish I saw it sooner :-(

[BlueFaith]

My husband can also tell when I have not taken my meds even for one day. He has also mentioned that "flat" look in my eyes. He knows the signs, and recognizes them right away when I am starting to spiral downward, even when I don't realize it myself.

[Azalysa]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
vertigo said:
My psychiatrist cut two of my meds in half in an attempt to avoid toxicity, and some of the symptoms my wife was complaining about have diminished. She commented on the fact that I seem more present in my life this week. We agree!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I can't wait to have some of my meds cut out. I know I'm way overmedicated, but since this episode lasted so long, pdoc was trying everything he could to zap me out of it.

I want to be "alive" again.

[Daonnachd]

Good luck and God bless.

I know, too, what it's like to be facing treatment-resistant symptoms in addition to side-effects.