[js62480]

Hi everyone. I am new here I am not bi polar myself but believe my husband is. So my question to you is what did it take for you to realize and seek help. I love my husband and do want to stand by him.. but he is in denial that anything is wrong.. so in the mean time his behavior is tearing us apart and really hurting me. I want to do the right thing but do not know what the right thing is.. could really use some advice from somebody that can relate... even someone that was in my husbands position.. Thank you so much

[darkeyes]

This is a toughie, unfortunately you can't force a person, with bipolar out of denial, it usually if it comes at all, from the person him or herself.
If his mood(s) are or get mild enough, try to speak to him about this, and how you see a change in him, wishing he'd go for counselling, but try not to sound demanding if possible. You may even want to talk to a T first, they can direct you with some resources for info. and/or help you to know how to approach your husband. In the begining of my DX, my husbandd came to a few sessions, the psychologist spoke with him and I about the treatment options,etc., we even went to my pdoc together a few times, then as I accepted my DX, I went for therapy and med managment on my own. Let's face it many DXes are not easy to accept.
With the encouragment of someone in the mental health field, it helps cut back some of the denial, and often helps one accept,get treatment and move on with their lives.
Just my 2 cents.
I wish you lots of luck and love with this matter.

DE

[DaveyJones]

Hi, JS,

Most people get diagnosed when they go in about depression. Most BP's spend about a month in depression for every day they spend in mania. The other way is when they get taken to the hospital in the throes of a really bad manic episode. You don't say what sorts of behavior lead you to your conclusion, but I think the best way is to wait until he is in a bad depression and see if you can get him in to the docs' then. Take as much documentation as you can with you, and go in to the appointment with him if you can...bipolar folk often do not remember the behaviors from the other end of the spectrum, and so can't give an accurate picture.

Perhaps you would want to make your own charts of symptoms you observe, to give a doc a better picture?

I hope things work out!

DJ

[Azalysa]

Hi, js and welcome!

I agree with DarkEyes and Davey. Something you can do right now is to educate yourself on the illness of bipolar. There are some excellent books out there. A list is included at the top of this forum as well as on the Book Reviews tap at the top of this screen. They may help you identify some of the symptoms your husband is having as well as help you understand the illness.

Good luck to you hon...this has to be so hard for you. Come talk to us anytime. There are wonderful people here who will help all they can.

[DaveyJones]

Another thing you can do is to look for a support group for family members of bipolar people...both NAMI and DBSA have such groups. If you're in the USA you're almost certainly near one. Maybe you can get DH that's Dear Husband) to go with you to one sometime...that a really powerful tool in both directions...worth a try!

DJ