[mel80]

I'm over having this crappy illness.I'm hating being stuck in the lowest of lows and constantly having to cope with the 3 demon people living in me constantly telling me how I need to cut my left part of brain out I'm condemned to the gates of hell just crap like that.I'm trapped and I can't seem to escape this hell hole.I'm confused as to what help I really need.Does anyone else out there feel this way and feel like they are sinking below the water line ?God help me arrrrgh I'm frustrated sorry and thanks for listening.

[cocoabeans]

Yes. I don't feel like that now, it has passed. Last time was nearly two years ago. But I know too well and feel like I'm on the verge of something awful coming up.

Curse you bipolar!!!!

[blossom12]

Originally Posted by mel80

I'm over having this crappy illness.I'm hating being stuck in the lowest of lows and constantly having to cope with the 3 demon people living in me constantly telling me how I need to cut my left part of brain out I'm condemned to the gates of hell just crap like that.I'm trapped and I can't seem to escape this hell hole.I'm confused as to what help I really need.Does anyone else out there feel this way and feel like they are sinking below the water line ?God help me arrrrgh I'm frustrated sorry and thanks for listening.

Yes, I am with you. I keep going back to the doctor, to the therapist, even tried praying. I have never been this low this long. Every single day is a struggle and I am so tired. So tired of carrying on and trying to make it appear nothing is wrong with me. I am dying inside.

You say you are confused about what kind of help you need.
what kind are you currently getting?

[missmorganxo]

I understand how you're feeling. I just fell from mania into depression and I'm having a hard time coping with life right now, and everything seems so black. I'm sorry you're going through this! We just have to keep holding on...take it one day at a time...good luck, hun.

[mel80]

Blossom12 I have a mh case worka who sometimes keeps in touch weekly but quite often doesnt.The psychiatrists I just saw last monday upped the seroquel but did not give anything for the severe low as the anti depressants trigger my mania really badly.The shrink has not put me back on any mood stabilisers for a while so wala sea sawing moods, and i know i loved the highs but this has got me into severe trouble including the police stopping me from driving because of erratic behaviours.Oh gosh I'd give anything to not be this low and lost and confused bout treatment.

[roads]

Originally Posted by mel80

I'm over having this crappy illness.I'm hating being stuck in the lowest of lows and constantly having to cope with the 3 demon people living in me constantly telling me how I need to cut my left part of brain out I'm condemned to the gates of hell just crap like that.I'm trapped and I can't seem to escape this hell hole.
....
Oh gosh I'd give anything to not be this low and lost and confused bout treatment.

(((( ** gentle hugs (* mel *) sitting near ** ))))

[BlackPup]

The lows are the price we pay for the highs. If you can get the highs under control then the lows will be less severe. Hope your mood lifts soon and many hugs in the meantime

[blossom12]

Mel, I know it's effing hard to deal with this. I got into some issues myself in the hypomanias. They feel good at the time though, dont they? I look back with regret and embarrassment at some of the stuff I did in those times.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by mel80

i loved the highs but this has got me into severe trouble including the police stopping me from driving because of erratic behaviours.

Did they take away your license or just issues you someting temporary to stop you?

[mel80]

I was forbidden again to drive and they are threatening to take my license away for 6mnths.Just another trial to deal with.perhaps the good thing is and I don't know the are talking about putting me into hospital to better help control the moods and the "demons" living in my brain trying to control me perhaps this is good I'm really not sure.One thing I know I'll never stop driving it's my freedom of escape.