what am I feeling?

I'm tired. I did have a lot to drink last night. Took all the water and vitamins I thought necessary and went to work. It was a long, stressful day.
Unwound a bit when I got to the stables, met with a mate and had a drink. Met up with my bf who was too carried away with his friends (they are also family members tho) and felt lonely. So I came home. Tired, a little bit under the weather, a little drunk, possibly getting sick, lonely, tired.
Going to take a few sleeping tabs and get my energy back. I don't think this is psychosis. Or me being drunk. Just lonely. Maybe unstable. I don't know. Everyone is just too busy. And I'm just another of 6 billion human beings out there

Alcohol causes depression. Especially the day after. Give it a couple of days and see if it passes.

I know I can't drink like I used to. I just don't bounce back the same anymore.
That might be a good thing!

suga!
I don't know. Kind of sounds like one of those nights where a combination of little things got to you more than it usually might (had one myself, just last night). Wouldn't see any reason to think of it as psychosis. Though being drunk might not have caused, it probably didn't help. Aside from the whole depressant thing, sometimes, especially when no one else is around, it can give us too much time to be inside our own heads and when that is already negatively primed (lonely, under the weather, still tired after stressful long day etc)... yeah.
I dunno, that'd put me in a not-so-great and not terribly stabilized feeling place (!)
Hope you are feeling better soon!

you are not alone,

Thank you. Today I'm tired. Need to get out of the hole I've dug myself into. Right now it's not bad. My claws are only just gripping in the wall. Nearly thought of going to the hospital last night, because I wasn't sure I'd be ok on my own.
I do drink too much; espec for being on psych meds

Gripping the wall. Awww, suga! The strength of Wolverine's adamantium claws to you! (Hopefully not too nerdy a reference -- if so, basically, awesome claws made of an indestructible metal that extend from his very structure.) Luck on the getting up from that hole. Wish I could offer more than a cyber-hand up. Don't hesitate to go to the hospital if you aren't feeling safe. Obvious to say, but saying it anyway.
(Hope I didn't come off preachy at all on the drinking thing -- it's also substantially a reinforcement for myself (and God knows how much of that I need!) as we've had a fits and starts thing going on here on that front.)

Hope you are feeling better soon, please post as inclined, ok? That's what we're here for -- we're all in this together.

Thank you. Sunday was a good day; probably hypomanic. Flat today.
Worried about it being budgeting season at work, us moving apartments in a week, and boyfriend deciding NOW to stop smoking. I can't carry both of us emotionally at the moment ?!?
I have to break my day and life into bite-size chunks...BF doesn't fully understand BP and how it affects me - I've tried to explain - it's futile.
But I'm ok for now. Worried a bit about the hypomanic part. I know what follows and would love to be strong this time

wishing you a soft landing from your hypomania
take it all one step at a time and you will be able to get through it all.
keep posting, missed seeing you around....

Still can't fall asleep on time, but now am sooooooooo tired

Hope you get your equilibrium back soon. Sleep well tonight. P

Shew - been packing boxes for the move whenever I get 2 minutes. But at least it makes me feel productive. Have a lot to get through at work today, but if I get to the end, I'll be OVER the moon!
Had a minor breakdown at work yesterday which was actually a bit embarassing. It was more a case of being suddenly, acutely overwhelmed.
Wish I could just sleep. May take a day "sick leave" next week.