[Mikita6630]

ok being new to the whole bipolar state i have a few questions. I have felt this way in the past and chalked it up to me being me but since my therapist mentioned what she suspects and I am begining to believe her my question is this. is extreme agitation and aggressiveness for no real reason a normal part of being bipolar especially if someone is not being treated correctly?
right now I am only being treated for depression with celexa and that is only 40mg once a day...

[BuggsBunny]

It sounds more like a manic or hypo-manic episode. While this is part of being bipolar, it is not part of being stable. See or call your T while you are still in this state, if possible, so she can correctly diagnose this. Not knowing all the facts leaves me using only my own experiences to draw from, and the feeling you describe are signs of mania in me.

[Mikita6630]

thanks bugs ill call her now

[~Christina]

I ofen get Angry and just plain pissed over honestly nothing that I should be mad about ,,its part of MY bipolar .. the other day I went into a rage because I was angry that my husband didnt put the dishes away right !!!!!!!!! Normally im thrilled he even does it ..... So in a nutshell hypo or manic doesnt always mean Happy go lucky I can rule the world .. some of us get the angry hate the world type mania ,

Hope things get better for you

[Mikita6630]

ok so I guess im going to get both since a few weeks ago I got the I can rule the world over the top happy OMG I have been doing this for so long and never even gave it a thought... WOW what a dunce I was I just thought it was me being typical stupid me not being able to control my own moods

[abience]

It could be a mixed state or a dysphoric mania. Irritability is also a symptom of depression. It could also be a side effect of the med. I know antidepressants aren't good for me without a mood stabilizer, and then I still need to be very careful because my indicators for mania are irritability and aggression. Sometimes just out right rage for no reason. Then it's time for the prn's.

[BipolaRNurse]

Ye gawds........nice to know I'm not the only one who gets RIDICULOUSLY irritable sometimes!! It's pretty bad when I can't figure out if I'm depressed or not---this part of the mania/hypomania confuses the hell out of me. I used to be "up" all the time during what I've come to realize were manic phases; now, I get agitated, hostile, defensive, oversensitive, and paranoid. I also can't sleep, eat, or concentrate, which makes work just a huge clusterf*** since I need to be on top of things at all times. I am NOT having a good time with this bipolar stuff.

[hamster-bamster]

To me it is age. I went from "up", wonderful, erotic hypomanias in my 20s to what is described in this thread in my 30s.

Not fun at all. I am glad I am finally stable under treatment, knock on wood.

[moremi]

I just recently started experiencing this and I was in a mixed state. Its awful worse than mania or depression to me. I hurt everyone around me without a second thought. Even my kids. I just say the most hurtful things. I hope I never get that way again because no one likes me then.

[Irreplaceable]

Sounds like me. Even the slightest thing can throw me in a rant, yelling, getting visibly upset, saying and doing hurtful things is the worst, extreme irritation over various sounds and other such things. When I'm sleepy and tired, it's only worse. Everyone needs to move and move quickly. I laugh as I type this but it's really not funny when it's happening. My bf affectionately has called me his pitbull because I'm ready for it most times. ***sighs*** I wish it didn't happen.

[BuggsBunny]

Yeah, gotta love those sudden, no reason, rages. I used to take mine out on pots and pans, doors, and my bipolar/schizophrenic sister. (In that last one, turn about was fair play.) In high school it was my locker. I permanently dented the thing from kicking it in frustration. School admin was not happy with me. I think they graduated me just so they wouldn't have to replace the entire bank of lockers....

I still get the irritability from my depression. When the kids sit there and make the same little noise over and over, it about sends me thru the roof. When I'm tired, I can't stand horseplay, no matter how much fun they are having, especially in the kitchen after dinner. I'm known as "Crabby Aunty" when it comes time to wash the dishes.

I wish I could prescribe myself a tranq just for after dinner dishes... (sigh)

Hypo, depressed, mixed, it's a bit hard for parse out because there are different versions of my irritability and rage. Which are very distinct from one another. But here's my best take on my particular experience of it... I'd say hypo, it's an impatience thing. I can get really pissy, shoot off verbally and want to have a real go at 'em. But it's more of an overconfidence feel to it most of the time. Hypo can be good, bad or both for me.

Depressed, it's more of a "just get away from me FFS!!!" It's more in the grumpy realm, because I just don't have the energy to spend, it's more like swatting them away. Already crushingly overwhelmed w/o having to deal with people. Either type can bring extreme annoyance at the stupidest things.

Sometimes the above types reach levels that would probably be described as rage. By others. And they pretty well are. BUT.

Warning: Rage described below. Possibly triggering. (Not towards others, if that helps you decide whether to proceed or not.)

Full-on rage, for me, goes waaaaay beyond either of these. It has an entirely different feel than either of the above. A switch flips/lightning bolt strike and I launch with unbearable amounts of energy and self-loathing. Indescribably unbearable. Usually, it's directed at no one but myself. It's hard for me to say for sure what happens (it seems there are parts I black out on), but maybe it's that being verbal takes too much focus/cognitive organization(?) Some verbal action in the form of screaming, but not much in the way of words. In the worst ones, definite violence. Lots of throwing. Things and myself. Yeah, myself. Like I said above, it's really not about other people. I'm consumed and overwhelmed internally and I want out. Mind and body. Too consumed to be aware others even exist. Nonetheless, they keep their distance. They must be frightening to behold. This thought of course mortifies me. The really bad ones don't happen all that often and definitely less since medication. TG, because they're indescribably excruciating to experience. (Had a really bad one happen last week for the first time in a long time, so it's still pretty fresh in mind. Which helped in trying to describe it here.) I don't really consider these a mixed episode, despite the simultaneous experience of both extremes. They are much much shorter than the officially definining time parameters for starters. There is NO WAY the state of intensity I tried to describe could sustain for anywhere even near that kind of time. NO way. Even as short as they are, they are freaking exhausting. I've had mixed states that go on for awhile, and as gawdawful as they are, they don't even approach the excruciating intensity of these. Whatever you want to call them, they are launches into complete personal meltdowns.

Definitely the very worst experiences of my life. Damn mortifying as well. I've only just begun to be able to (extremely selectively) talk about them at all in real life. Because in those times there would be no debate whatsoever that I completely lose control of my mind.

[BuggsBunny]

Thanks, IZ, for sharing that with us. Now I understand what a friend of mine went thru when she experienced this. You've helped a lot.

[missmorganxo]

Agressiveness is normal for my bipolar, and I get really angry from time to time. Mostly when something really traumatic or painful is going on in my life.

Last night, I tried to put my fist through a wall. So, you're not alone.

[BipolaRNurse]

I once punched a refrigerator when I was pissed off. Next day my hand was swollen, painful and red, so I went to a walk-in clinic to see a doctor. He immediately said, "This wouldn't have happened to you if you weren't 240 pounds." Didn't even start by asking about the reason I'd come in in the first place. I held up my hand and said, "I need you to look at this." He finally asked how it'd happened. Not wanting to tell this pompous *** that I'd punched a refrigerator, I said "I fell". He said, "The next time you 'fall' like that, you're gonna break every bone in your hand. You're 240 pounds."

That's when I flipped my cork. I paid $75 for some idiot stick to tell me I was FAT??!! Sheesh, what was his first clue---the size 20 jeans on my butt, or my broken hand? He gave me a script for some pain pills and sent me on my way with yet more advice about my weight. I reported him to the medical board. I'm sure nothing was ever done, but it made me feel better. And no, I've never punched a refrigerator since.....I've slammed a TV dinner against a wall and broken a couple of glasses during my conniptions, though.