[Secretum]

Sorry; I know that I have been starting a lot of new threads lately. I think that this will be the last one for awhile, but no promises.

Anyway, the past few days have found me in a bit of a low. I haven't felt this bad for no reason in months. My body feels like each limb weighs 1,000 lb. All I want to do is sleep. I feel hopeless and worthless. Nothing interests me (but sleep). I even have a reduction in appetite, which is unusual for me (I usually see an increase during depression).

It is not too bad yet, but I am scared. I am under a lot of pressure to perform this semester, and a serious depression now could literally haunt me for the rest of my life. I considered calling my pdoc, but even if he decides to change something, it will take a week for the script to arrive and several more for the new med to start working. (I see my pdoc over the phone, and he mails his scripts to me). I'm going to see him in person in early April anyway; I might as well wait until then.

I'm going to try to sleep deprive myself (won't allow more than 4 hrs per night). Sleep deprivation has antidepressant effects; my pdoc told me that decades ago he worked at a hospital that treated depression by this method.I know that this could cause hypomania, but that is a risk I am willing to take. I miss feeling alive, hopeful, and important. I've even considered going off my abilify and continuing the wellbutrin, but I've decided that that is too dangerous.

In addition to sleep deprivation, I'm going to try to get a lot of sunlight, exercise, and caffeine.

Does anyone have any other ideas for how I can prevent this from becoming a serious episode and get the mood pendulum swinging in the opposite direction? Thanks.

There is no gimmick.

However.

Find the Starbucks the furthest away from you. Go there. Pick something from the menu you've never had. Look for any discarded newspapers. Pick it up, read the headlines and finish your beverage. Then look for any print ads for sales, specials, anything.

For example, 50% off all mattresses and bedding at JC Penny's. Go there, look at their mattresses and bedding. Then decide for yourself whether JC Penny wasted money on their print ad. Tell the employee there. Have them look at you weird. Ask them what their favorite restaurant is in the area. Go there. If you have eaten there before, pick something from the menu you have never eaten. If not, pick something at absolute random.

Continue this pattern all day. Turn life into a quest. It at least keeps you doing something. That's the important thing. This has seriously worked for me on my worst days.

[unaluna]

Heavy feeling limbs to me usually means electrolyte imbalance, retaining water? Have some Gatorade or somehow get a little salt and potassium in. Like i'll have a small bag of chips with a bottle of orange juice. I know, weird!

[roads]

What's supposed to be acting as your mood stabilizer? The Abilify I'm guessing was added to the Wellbutrin because your depression was getting worse ... right?

How much sleep have you been getting? Cutting to 4hrs may be too drastic, depending on what you're getting now. How heavy is your course load? What's your outside commitment? How old are you? All those things contribute.

What's your usual caffeine pattern? A B-complex load might be better. How are you with sugar?

How long are you planning on putting yourself through this?

You're a smart young lady, so you already know this I bet: No one knows for sure how to stop a depression from growing. You're not accepting the slow-&-steady safer ways right now; you want a short cut. Shortcuts, even when they don't work, can be dangerous.

Roadie

[cocoabeans]

Sleep deprevation can help but, it will be a temporary lift and could cause you to go into a mixed state or to start rapid cycling. I know this because I've done it, multiple times.

[Confusedinomicon]

The sleep thing is short-term so you can't do it often. (Maybe 2 days at the most?) However sleep deprivation is generally a trigger for most people with BP and can lead to hypomania/mania.

Even though it is something you've heard over and over again....it's probably best you see your doctor or at least email them. I emailed mine today and I'm temporarily increasing the lithium I take for the next 2 weeks until I see her. You don't need an appointment for a small med adjustment unless they decide to change your script completely. (Like if he said to take 50 mg more Wellbutrin you could use your current script and have him mail you a new one for the next week)

I think keeping busy and feeling like you're on a mission to complete something like NotCrazy may work too. ALSO if school stress is a BIG trigger for you, take up yoga and meditation. It won't get rid of the mood swing, but it will help with anxiety and some depression.

Don't get yourself addicted to caffeine. I had a headache all day because I didn't have coffee. -__-

[BuggsBunny]

One way to get a TEMPORARY lift from caffeine is a caffeine tablet. It's 200mgs pure caffeine. You can find it as Stay Awake at WalMart. At least, that's the brand I use. No Doz might be the same. It says it's the same as a cup of coffee, but I have no proof to that. All I know is that it helps a lot when I have GOT to be awake to teach. (Even home schooling, you still have to be awake to do it!) And I hate the taste of coffee.

The drawback to using it more than once or twice in a row is a Migraine like headache the size of New York. Withdrawal, basically, from the caffeine. There is also the chance that it MAY kick off an episode. That varies by person.

My advice: call your Pdoc, have him up your medication, and do what confused said. Use your current supply to hold you til the new script comes.

Be proactive and don't wait til next month. You'll still have to wait another few weeks for the meds to kick in anyway.

My Warning: don't combine this with sleep deprivation. You will crash, big time, when it wears off. If you've tried and didn't get enough sleep due to whatever, then this is okay to use. If you are personally limiting your sleep, this is likely to backfire. And for Heaven's sake, DON'T go drinking coffee on top of this. You'll be in bed for two days trying to recover from the headache, or worse.

[SeekerofLight]

Do you have a therapist you can talk with?

[roads]

Secretum, are you rethinking this? Going ahead regardless? Update, if you would ...

[Secretum]

Thanks, everyone. I did try (unsuccessfully) to sleep deprive myself last night. I ended up getting six hours and then taking an hour long nap today because I felt physically ill, so my attempt at sleep deprivation failed. I normally get around 9 hrs per night.

I steeply upped my caffeine intake, and that seemed to work for awhile. The effects definitely are temporary. I also feel really agitated now; I think the caffeine may have had a role in causing that.

I think that I will continue high dose caffeine,but I will abandon the sleep deprivation plan. I just can't do it when all I want is sleep! If I don't feel substantially better by Monday I will call my pdoc. I do have a therapist, but I won't see her for another week.

The abilify is my mood stabilizer. Thanks again for all the suggestions.

[BuggsBunny]

Originally Posted by Secretum

I steeply upped my caffeine intake, and that seemed to work for awhile. The effects definitely are temporary. I also feel really agitated now; I think the caffeine may have had a role in causing that. I think that I will continue high dose caffeine,but I will abandon the sleep deprivation plan.

if you are going the high caffeine route be aware that you will have some really bad headaches if you don't keep some caffeine in your system.
And yes, caffeine can make you agitated, and irritable, and crabby, and after a while you will have to increase your amount to get the same feeling. It's a pretty bad cycle to get into, so watch yourself closely for adverse effects.

Hope this route helps you to succeed in your goals.

[lbrown1]

Originally Posted by NotCrazyLikeYou

There is no gimmick.

However.

Find the Starbucks the furthest away from you. Go there. Pick something from the menu you've never had. Look for any discarded newspapers. Pick it up, read the headlines and finish your beverage. Then look for any print ads for sales, specials, anything.

For example, 50% off all mattresses and bedding at JC Penny's. Go there, look at their mattresses and bedding. Then decide for yourself whether JC Penny wasted money on their print ad. Tell the employee there. Have them look at you weird. Ask them what their favorite restaurant is in the area. Go there. If you have eaten there before, pick something from the menu you have never eaten. If not, pick something at absolute random.

Continue this pattern all day. Turn life into a quest. It at least keeps you doing something. That's the important thing. This has seriously worked for me on my worst days.

crazy.. most would say.. but honestly I think its 'PERFECT' advice. I have been in my house for months, have had no desire to leave. Literally, I have no friends, I have distanced myself from all family, and became numb to my emotions.... BUT when I read your advice I got this amazing feeling inside. I know its late but I think I'm gonna take your advice and get out!!! Flip a coin and see which way to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sunshineanxious]

I really don't mean to mess up your plan, but I think it sounds dangerous. I think you should CALL YOUR PSY.DOCH!

I am absolutely sure sleep deprivation is a trigger of both psychosis and mania/hypomania in Bipolar people. I was once very, extremely depressed and I wanted to sleep, but couldn't. I slept maybe 3-4 hours a day for 2 moths and I got really psychotic, it was the worst depression I ever had (and I've had four really bad ones!).

It was the most awful thing I have ever experienced in my bipolar life, and I'm not sure I could go through it again. I so regret not taking sleeping pills. I really think you should try more medication or another combo, but talk to your psy.doc.

Again, I don't mean to be moralizing or something like that, I am honestly very worried about your choice as I myself have never been as psychotic as when I was sleep deprived.

[sunshineanxious]

I had a very bad depression that almost extinguished me, the worst of four bad ones.
The reason it was so bad, was that I didn't sleep more than 3-4 hours each night for a long time.

I couldn't sleep so I got really psychotic and extremely depressed.

I think if you do this, there will surely be a great risk of becoming psychotically depressed (which is no nice vacation) or manic or in a dangerous, mixed state.

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS AND CALL YOUR PSYCHIATRIST TODAY. IT CAN'T WAIT.
Don't do this to yourself, I'm not trying to moralize but I have REALLY BAD experiences.

[sunshineanxious]

Sorry for posting twice, but I wasn't sure the first one was there, it didn't look like it.

[Mikita6630]

can you call you therapist and see if she can see you earlier????? she may be able to see you sooner if you are in a bad way and it seems as if you are or at least heading into a bad way maybe talking can head off anything horrible (hug)

[BlackPup]

I restrict my sleep to 8 hours to stop myself from oversleeping (which often happens when I'm depressed) more or less is bad news for me...
I go for a walk outside (at least 45 mins)
I get out of the house for coffee etc or shopping and try to do fun things.
I write in a journal.
I play on PC!!!!!!

[Secretum]

Thanks again, everyone. I am feeling better now, so hopefully I won't have to call my pdoc. I guess that all your suggestions + caffeine worked!

Finding fulfilling motivation elsewhere is the best cure for depression. Art, music, yoga, sports, etc. You have to remember to pamper yourself. Depressed people don't treat themselves like princesses! Therefore, it's kind of like a mental trigger to find your way out of a depressed mood... Sometimes it REALLY takes a long time to find that thing you need to keep your mood up, but once you find it, it works. : )

[Secretum]

Feeling crappy again. I'm reconsidering calling my pdoc. I will have another coffee energy drink tonight.

I think that stress is triggering this. The only problem is that I can't escape the stress for two more weeks, and it is going to get a lot worse before then. (I have spring break in two weeks, but the week before is packed with exams.)

Yeah, if circumstances don't facilitate being able to work on yourself, the pdoc is the way to go in my opinion. If you WEREN'T bogged down with stress, I'd suggest a little more persistence... But it doesn't really appear that you have a choice. Good luck, though!! And try to take some time out for yourself. Some mental relief. Even just isolating yourself to listen to zentastic music or some form of expression for 15 minutes. : )

[Secretum]

Talked with my pdoc today; we're bumping up my abilify to 15 mg. I hope that this works!

[BlackPup]

hope you feel better soon...

[BuggsBunny]

Hoping that it works well. Feel better soon!