[mangledreality]

I have always been faithfull to my husband with NO problems, he is everthing to me, and all I have ever wanted. lately I have been strugling with mania, and I do not know what is going on with me. The love for my husband, the atraction, has not changed, yet I went through this whole thing with one of his friends, I told my hubby before anything happened because it felt like someone else was talking and planning with his friend. It scared me now I am still haveing problems with mania and I am flirting with everyone. It makes me feel guilty when I come down, and ashamed how can I be this person!!I do Not want to be that person! I do not know how my hubby is being the way he is, so good. He says it is the illness. How did I get such a great person and still act the way I do? I am use to taking responsabilites for my actions. WOW i need some help?

[darkeyes]

Hi there,
You may need a mood-stabilizer, if you haven't already been prescribed one. If you have, you should talk to your pdoc, it may be time for a dosage change or even switching to a new med or one added.
If I were you, I'd get in touch with the pdoc asap and address this before things really get out of hand, you may risk losing a good relationship you already have with your husband.
Please take care,
DE

So often when a bipolar person is going through mania, the mind tricks us into feeling and thinking we are very sexy,attractive, on top of the world, just super terrific, people fall into this trap, having this false belief they can chuck their meds., they are cured, etc. Results, chaos, we can go so far and then crash, it's not worth it.
Stay with professional treatment, don't let the "up" swing trick you, that "swing" can be very sly, very convincing,taking control of you . . . don't let it happen,speak with your pdoc. I recommend this to all dealing with bipolar disorder, it's so important to be under professional care and follow med regimen.

(((((((((((((( everyone at this forum )))))))))))))

[Daonnachd]

(((MangledReality)))

In neither this, nor your "out of character" thread have you mentioned a pdoc. Are you seeing professionals in relation to the disease? Psychiatrist or therapist? This is something that's very difficult to deal with on our own. Be proactive; take steps to avoid problems caused by the disease. Meds and therapy can help so much.

Take care

[mangledreality]

Yes a Pdoc every three weeks, have only been on meds december, I take in am 1mg klonopin, trileptal 600 mg, at night same again plus seroquel 300mg, zoloft 100mg. I am still working on getting level. Pdoc said it could take some time. Thanks for carring I have not had the urge to miss one pill, I was in Bad shape before they came along!There is no way to handel this with out my meds, I self harm hulusinat, have delusions, ect...are these low dosses?

[Daonnachd]

I can think of two things that may be going on for you. (1) The meds may be the right dose but have not yet all reached a level that is therapeutic for you. (2) The meds may not be a high enough dose to do what you need.

The only dosage level I can speak to is the Seroquel. I was at 100, which was the low end of normal range.

I would suggest not waiting for your next appt with your pdoc, but call now.

[DaveyJones]

Funny, I was reading a book by a lady who commented that one of her main clues to mania was that she became "flirtatious" in the way you describe...she would increase her mood stablizer dosage a bit when that happened...definitely call your pdoc.

Before you ask, the name of the book is "Bipolar Disorder Demystified", by Lana Castle.

Good luck, stay with it!

DJ

[mangledreality]

Thanks Guys!!! I love all the support I get from everyone even if it is not something you are proud of you all seem to listen w/o the judgement. D.J. Thanks that book, will probably be the next read! It always helps to hear some one else has been there(lady in book).

[adeline]

Wow, I had missed that in the book -- really strikes a chord with me. To MangledReality, I was in the same place exactly a year ago, and really hurt the person that I am in love with. I also felt like you described, out of character and externally driven.

Meds are an important part of controlling this mania-flirt urge, but what you're doing by telling your husband and stopping yourself from acting on the urges is HUGE. I really hope you can see how strong you are by doing this. When I was manic I felt possessed by a drive for either food or sex, and no matter what else I did, all day long it was there, nothing could fulfill me or make it stop until I got it. Like a mental addiction. Try not to place too much blame or shame on yourself, as this is something which is physiologically beyond a normal temptation or desire.

Which relates to something that my pdoc and I have been going over, which is that bipolar people often lose focus of what control they do have (however small that may be) in the face of being overwhelmed by what they can't control. The idea is that thinking "I can't make this urge/situation/feeling stop," actually gives you less control, while thinking "I can control this one, small aspect" gives you more control, which can be built on with other small pieces of control. I accidently cut my thumb last year, and my roomates' responses reminded me how important acting in control can be to actually gaining control: one roomate started freaking out, causing me to become more upset; the other calmly assessed the situation, quickly found someone to drive me to the ER, and calmed the first guy down in the meantime.

I don't mean to minimize what you're feeling into something that can be conquered by a few positive thoughts; following the analogy, the focus-on-control approach helped me to reach the goal of bandaging my hand more quickly, but was not an end in itself. Anyway, this is REALLY long, so I'll stop, but just wanted to tell you some things that I wish I could go back and tell myself.

Jessie

[amber212]

i get the same desire to flirt but to a more stronger degree. I can';t let go of the past with my dad. and I can't have a sexual relationship normal because of it help me and I also quit the meds months ago and therpist can't talk me into anything.dont kow what to do.