[KeepGoing8]

Mostly, I self- identify as a depressive, and over the years I've had Dr.s give me the usual "Do you experience manic episodes as well?" third degree, and my answers always been "no." I always thought, "no, I'm way too mellow and low-key to be considered "manic"." I couldn't really ever get a straight answer to what Mania really feels like, and I kno now that my ideas of Mania as a tweaker-like,...well...Mania, is an oversimplification. Transitioning off of Paxil right now, I've been in a place of heightened arousal, a constant internal buzzing, uncontrolable shivers, and a racing mind that keeps me talking a mile a minute, and unable to fall asleep at night. I know the Paxil withdrawal is a b!+€h...and maybe it's that that's tipping me into the Mania, but I also recognize this feeling and am realizing that the BP denial may have done me more harm than good.
Do any of you good folks know the real difference between straight severe depression and BP? Is the medication prescribed different? Has anyone else gone thru this "oh sh!+, maybe I am BP" realization?
Thank you, and I apologize for any misinformation or labeling that might offend...I am still pretty clueless about the facts on BP disorder.

[bowhunt72]

I fought the idea that I had any mental illness at all - I'm not like all those crazy people locked up in the psych ward. When I finally realized I had something, it was "just" depression, I'd never had a manic episode. Looking back, what about all the times that...um, yeah. Ok, maybe I'm bipolar II, a little hypomania once in a while maybe. Just came off my first major manic episode, 3-4 months long and destructive due to rapidly making very poor decisions. Now there's no doubt. Bipolar. And generalized anxiety disorder. And post traumatic stress disorder. And obsessive compulsive disorder. And I've been one of the crazy people locked up in the psych ward. Six times now. Sometimes reality really sucks.

Try to keep an open mind - I know it's hard these are very difficult subjects - as you educate yourself about BP. Talk about your meds with your pdoc. Talk with your T. Keep coming here and posting, we're all in this together and we'll help as much as we can, even if it's just listening.

[cocoabeans]

Yes, definitely. In addition to that, I had no idea that severe mood swings were not normal! Growing up in a household with a bipolar parent in denial then surrounding myself with other people with mood disorders and or drug addictions will do that I guess! I could recognize when people were really "screwed up" but, I never thought of myself as THAT bad. Sure, I had multiple episodes of depression but, bipolar? That's crazy!

I still struggle with that and now, it is struggling with "Okay, I'll accept bipolar 2 sure, no I don't get manic..." I down play symptoms at the doctors and according to observations of friends and family, I get REALLY manic. And the stories I could tell? Yes, maybe...

Then I argue with myself. I am able to keep a job, finished university, hold steady relationships, not addicted to drugs and my credit card debt is less than 2500. I've never allowed myself to be admitted to a psychiatric ward not that it hasn't come up...bipolar 1 is serious, I'm not serious!

My husband has bipolar 1, he isn't so bad either though he's been in the hospital...Heck, I used to think his manic episodes were normal!

Oh well, I take my drugs for the most part!

To answer your treatment question: Yes, bipolar depression is treated differently than unipolar depression. Mood stabilizers are used as the standard with bipolar.

[BipolaRNurse]

Unopposed antidepressants definitely can trigger mania in someone who has bipolar disorder. That said, we can't diagnose you or tell you that you have BP, but your symptoms are suggestive of the possibility. Unfortunately, a therapist is limited in his/her ability to diagnose the condition, and of course cannot prescribe medications; you need a psychiatrist for that.

Ask your T for a referral so that you can be properly diagnosed and treated; you can also continue to see your T for support---talk therapy is never wasted, and some types are better than others for BP (if you do turn out to have it).

I can SO relate to those who fight this diagnosis. Even though I suspected it for years, it was still something of a shock to hear the words pronounced, "I'm diagnosing you with bipolar disorder NOS". Then again, it's sort of a relief to know there's an explanation for all the crap I've put myself, my family, and my friends through all these years.

Wishing you the best in your journey to better mental health.

Keepgoing8 I'm in a similar situation to yourself at the moment, wondering if I might be bipolar when I've always considered myself 'just' depressed. At the moment I'm reading a really informative book (well, trying to when my brain can concentrate) called 'Why am I still depressed? Recognising the ups and downs of Bipolar II and soft bipolar disorder' by Dr Jim Phelps. He also has a really good website psycheducation.org, which is really useful to explain the subtler signs of bipolarity.

Before reading his website, I never knew about dysphoric mania or mixed episodes, I always thought mania felt good and so automatically said "no" whenever I was asked about bipolar. Now I've just swung from agitated/mixed to severely depressed I realised that this isn't the first time this has happened. My mood and energy levels will be averagely depressed, then my mood will go up for a few days and I'll feel almost 'normal' again, then my energy levels will rise and my mood will plummet and I'll be in this dysphoric mixed actively suicidal hell for anything from 2-8wks, and then my energy levels will crash and I'll be super depressed again for a while. And this has been happening for 5 YEARS now and I'd never realised there was a pattern!

*Willow*

[SmokeyPoole2012]

I find that the symptoms of mania very hard for me to detect. It's not hard to know when your facing depression the whole world become a difficult place but when I'm manic I have an inflated self perception and I actually welcome the mania because I believed the depression has finally passed allowing me to think there really isn't anything wrong with me.

Unfortunately, when manic I become intolerable to the rest of the world causing me loss of employment, relationships and friends.